Popular Post Rainsong March 3, 2020 Popular Post Share March 3, 2020 (edited) Peter’s had epic love stories? Why didn’t they show us any of them? All our favorite women are back. Except we don’t have any favorites. This collection of rejects is like a nightmare in which all the annoying people you’ve sat next to on various airliners are all herded onto one plane with you for a 10 hour flight. If you’ve got enough time on your hands to make a Mykenna t-shirt then perhaps a charity or Humane Society project might make a better contribution to society. Victoria is at a railing and we thank her as we crack a cold IPA at this stock composition of shot. Her declaration of love for Peter is strangely devoid of emotion – even robotic. The poor sod in the percussion section always gets a workout during the final episodes as he grabs the mallets and spends two solid hours hammering on a cymbal. Every camera cut is accompanied by a sssssSSSSSsssss crescendo. Hannah is choosing a dress – in this case a fringed go-go number. Chris and Peter meet up in a horse pasture – which is convenient because Peter is doing his usual Eeyore routine. He’s upset with Madison’s rules, mostly because he thinks he should be the only one dictating rules. An oddly-timed rose ceremony is taking place, apparently without Madi, as the two others shiver in their barely-there dresses. It’s time to sack whomever is providing the cast and crew with weather forecasts on their call sheets because they’ve been about 20 degrees off from actual conditions throughout the season. Peter and Madison both wear expressions usually seen at a funeral. He really is a miserable git. To no one’s surprise Hannah gets the rose as the safe(st) option. To the surprise of no one with a lick of sense, Madison gets the remaining rose otherwise this would have been the world’s longest shaggy dog story. How ironic that the upcoming Bachelorette was announced today when Victoria would have been a fantastic choice for generating interest among red-blooded males while also generating pull-hair-out frustration among them. Lexi speaks first to declare that fantasy suites are part of the deal and who is Madison to pursue chastity? Sydney inexplicably claims that she and Madison are from the same community. Uh, no dear, Birmingham and Auburn are 100 miles apart. It was in all the papers. Alayah is back to have more strips torn off by her vindictive peers. The room is nearly devoid of self-awareness as Lexi calls her malicious. What’s this? Victoria P is getting a long-overdue dose of comeuppance and is called ‘the fakest person’ by Savannah. Sydney, as usual, is attempting to monopolize the conversation. A torturous return to the life and times of Kelsey is next. Visiting the dentist on consecutive days holds more appeal. Mykenna and Kelsey exchange frequent rubs on the shoulder – apparently this conveys solidarity. Against whom and what we’re not sure. Mykenna is here to bore us with more talk of feeling unworthy with a catch in her voice. She doesn’t want to treat people poorly – but this declaration of noble purpose comes 30 seconds after her snide putdown of a girl who went home on the first night. Tammy you’re still a nasty piece of work but you struck a blow for sanity with your rolling of eyes and asking Mykenna how long she rehearsed yet another speech. Quite long, apparently, as Mykenna was intent on speaking all her lines anyway. Kelsey’s turn onstage is a long exercise in cluelessness in which she equates emotional instability with ‘vulnerability’ (this year’s buzzword) and seems to believe that a nearly 30 year old female losing the plot every five minutes is an irresistible temptation for any man. Victoria F agrees that communication was difficult. She should know. Peter makes his appearance. Sydney is talking. Again. And now we’ve apparently veered off into a tiresome race and social media harangue. If The Bachelor is like high school dating then TWTA is middle school summer day camp self-esteem candyfloss. The Women Tell All? Jokes aside what was told apart from that which we already knew and dreaded hearing about again? In other words, where was the ‘all?’ TWTA actually used to have some surprises, some innuendo, some gossip, some risqué content. There was little, if any, laughter about comedic moments or in-jokes with this group of acid-tongued harpies. In fact, there didn’t seem to be any lighthearted moments due to the hissing and clawing that filled every idle minute. This year’s cast didn’t seem to care if The Bachelor was even involved – they merely wanted to fluctuate between railing against their tormentors and tormenting their peers seated nearby. Hypocrisy is too inadequate a term for the pervasive double standard employed by Mykenna et al. Edited March 3, 2020 by Rainsong 28 Link to comment
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