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S04.E13: Child of Mine

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3 hours ago, alegtostandon said:

I guess what I was not fully understanding,  wasn't the woman the biological mother?  

Yes, the woman who gave birth to baby Joseph and  had been raising him for those 3 months was the biological mother.  There was a mix-up with the sperm at the fertility clinic.

I had my own question about how long sperm can be stored. They found out that the African-American woman had survived a bout of ovarian cancer and no longer had any viable eggs. I believe they said it was something like 18 months ago. She had already gone through 12 rounds of IVF, which is unimaginable and also heartbreaking, imo. So, I guess her last IVF round was quite some time ago.  Her husband's sperm had to be stored at the clinic for a long time and I wonder why they never disposed of it, considering that his wife no longer had any viable eggs. 

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  1. BioDad jerks off in a cup
  2. Couple have a baby using IVF
  3. BioDad: "Waaaalt!"

And of course, in America, the final decision comes down to who has more money...

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20 minutes ago, MerBearHou said:

This case tore me up so I couldn't finish watching.  How did it turn out?

It was rather surprising.  Bull got some illegally obtained info that bio dad's wife was a cancer survivor and so he called them all to a sit down, while the trial was in process, mind you, ( I guess they told the judge to cool it while they met) and suggested that Bio mom and her husband keep the son, and share his life with bio dad and his wife. Bio dad would dismiss the custody lawsuit.  AND, Bio mom provides an egg for Bio dad, since his wife is infertile so they can have their own bio baby.  They all will live in peace and harmony......and, wealthy Bio dad would pay child support for Bio son too.  That way, each family has their own baby, plus, another one that is a sibling, so, it works out even. lol  

I learned to ignore the way this show deals with courtroom rules and procedure, since they play very fast and loose with them.  First of all, there is no way that a person is going to dismiss a lawsuit, half way through, with no assurances in writing.  AND, I don't even know if that plan was legal....I'm not up on reproductive law, but, it sounded like trading an egg for the existing baby.  But, even if the parties do reach an agreement, the attorney tells the judge, not the party.  So weird. 

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7 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

Yes, the woman who gave birth to baby Joseph and  had been raising him for those 3 months was the biological mother.  There was a mix-up with the sperm at the fertility clinic.

I thought she was the bio mom but the way it was emphasized that Sperm Man was the bio dad & he and his wife should be raising the baby made me think that maybe a donated  fertilized egg was implanted.  Whenever it was mentioned that he was the biological father & the baby had his DNA,  the other couple kind of looked nervous,  like they had no biological connection to the baby.  I was waiting for Benny to say "she's the biological mother and has just as much right."  Just my take on it. 

Edited by alegtostandon
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That was really, really cringeworthy, listening to the lawyers bring up each couple's every "weakness" in some sort of game of, his anger issues mean he's more unfit (uh, that's not how that works), his hiring a nanny to take care of the baby means he's more unfit (what?). What's unfortunate about that is, this is really a legitimately difficult situation that I honestly don't know what I think is the right decision, and the lawyers being dicks about the opposing sides' supposed flaws (last I checked, being well-off enough to hire a nanny, and being poor enough to only live in a one-bedroom apartment, aren't actually commentaries on one's ability to be a parent), doesn't give us any depth as to the ethics of the situation, as well as either couple's legal right to custody.

My question is, how did the African American couple get the other couple's info? I know it was his sperm, but shouldn't the white couple's info be protected under HIPPA? I've never used a fertility clinic but as best as we can figure, they should have a privacy policy, and while presumably the clinic notified the African American couple that his sperm had been used in error, the privacy policy should have kept the other couple's info from them. I did zone out a little during all the exposition so maybe this came up then...

No jury. Did we even see Marisa? Different flow and feel to this one. The not-bio dad's line about God not giving you more than you can handle caused me to guffaw because that's been called out big time in Christian circles (or at least my circles...) as utter crap and not biblical. Good try there, guys.

And finally, they played that ending like it was the Missouri Compromise, but I kept thinking that these couples barely know each other, and are agreeing to a very long time of being intricately involved in each other's lives without knowing anything about each others' parenting styles, convictions, religious leanings, life goals, etc. I know plenty of people end up in interesting custodial arrangements, but hopefully they've all had dinner together first.

Edited by JessDVD
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In one of the episodes the show ended with Bull’s daughter being pregnant with her husband/boyfriend.    Any chance his name was Joseph?

Just curious.  

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9 hours ago, JessDVD said:

That was really, really cringeworthy, listening to the lawyers bring up each couple's every "weakness" in some sort of game

It really bothered me the bio dad kept saying the child needed  his black father.  I am a white mother who raised my bi racial son without his black father and he turned out just fine.

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13 hours ago, JessDVD said:

And finally, they played that ending like it was the Missouri Compromise, but I kept thinking that these couples barely know each other, and are agreeing to a very long time of being intricately involved in each other's lives without knowing anything about each others' parenting styles, convictions, religious leanings, life goals, etc. I know plenty of people end up in interesting custodial arrangements, but hopefully they've all had dinner together first.

True but whether or not they went the route they chose, they were still going to be intricately involved in each other lives because of Joseph.  One couple would have been given sole custody but that doesn't mean the other couple wouldn't have been given visitation.  It's not like the loser was going to disappear from Joseph's life.  Also, custody arrangements can be challenged so just because one side was granted sole custody doesn't mean the other side couldn't petition again in the future.  At the end of the day, noncustodial parent was still going to be around and those couples were still going to be involved with each other.

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5 hours ago, blondiec0332 said:

It really bothered me the bio dad kept saying the child needed  his black father.  I am a white mother who raised my bi racial son without his black father and he turned out just fine.

Yes! Him talking about how he hated the idea of perpetuating the black father abandonment cycle, like we all totally get that, but it seems pretty presumptuous to just assume that the bio mom and her husband couldn't possibly be able to teach the kid what he needed to know.

43 minutes ago, Mrs. Stanwyck said:

True but whether or not they went the route they chose, they were still going to be intricately involved in each other lives because of Joseph.  One couple would have been given sole custody but that doesn't mean the other couple wouldn't have been given visitation.  It's not like the loser was going to disappear from Joseph's life.  Also, custody arrangements can be challenged so just because one side was granted sole custody doesn't mean the other side couldn't petition again in the future.  At the end of the day, noncustodial parent was still going to be around and those couples were still going to be involved with each other.

I didn't think about this when I was posting originally, but your reply made me think - since you're right, no matter what, these couples are going to be spending their lives involved together, then why did bio dad start with serving them? Wouldn't it have been more productive to go to the couple with some kind of "OK, neither of us chose this situation but yet here we are so can we resolve this like adults?" and if that hadn't worked, THEN go with litigation? I'm only speaking for myself here of course, but I tend to think that if I were the bio mom, I'd be more willing to go along with it if I felt like the bio dad were coming at it from a "let's work together" angle, rather than "I'm suing for full custody of the child that is also biologically yours, whom you birthed". The show portrayed bio dad as a reasonable and non-asshole human, so this seems like a bit of a mis-step.

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23 minutes ago, JessDVD said:

then why did bio dad start with serving them? Wouldn't it have been more productive to go to the couple with some kind of "OK, neither of us chose this situation but yet here we are so can we resolve this like adults?" and if that hadn't worked, THEN go with litigation? I'm only speaking for myself here of course, but I tend to think that if I were the bio mom, I'd be more willing to go along with it if I felt like the bio dad were coming at it from a "let's work together" angle, rather than "I'm suing for full custody of the child that is also biologically yours, whom you birthed". The show portrayed bio dad as a reasonable and non-asshole human, so this seems like a bit of a mis-step.

I agree - a less combative approach would have been preferable to start with; its not like the couple conspired to steal his sperm and raise his child.  It would have made me think more of bio dad if he had reached out before serving them but in terms of the story, I think they would have ended up in court anyway.  Bio dad wasn't interested in joint custody (and neither was bio-mom).  So if neither party will agree to share custody, court is where they would have ended up.

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On 2/5/2020 at 4:51 PM, JessDVD said:

Yes! Him talking about how he hated the idea of perpetuating the black father abandonment cycle, like we all totally get that, but it seems pretty presumptuous to just assume that the bio mom and her husband couldn't possibly be able to teach the kid what he needed to know.

Worse, bio-dad turned it into a false either/or proposition.  When he was posturing about "I will not abandon my son", no one was suggesting he abandon his son.  But the way he was playing it, equated to "either I am granted custody so I can raise my son in my household, or the court is perpetuating the abandonment cycle"....which means he was planning to have NOTHING to do with his son if he didn't get full custody!

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13 hours ago, Mama No Life said:

Is Bull's child gestating permanently? Is he going to be born six years old?

Probably saving it. It makes for a good end of season episode..  

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