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S07.E04: Friends with Benefits

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Whitney's Greensboro friends come to Charlotte for a fun-filled weekend. But things get tense when Heather discovers that Buddy's been staying with Whitney. And when Ryan crashes their party, Heather welcomes him with a very friendly kiss.

Airs January 28, 2020.

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Oh for crying out loud, why is Heather still worried about Buddy? Wait a minute - she wants to be a personal trainer? I can understand being a bigger girl trainer, but she has no physiology training, no trainer training. There is no way in heck I would work with her. Plus, this woman couldn't manage a dance class, why would I trust her to stick with the training?

Edited by aliya
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I don't believe for a second that Whit/Jessica got

Spoiler

5th place

at that tournament thing.

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I managed to watch a grand total of 10 minutes before calling it quits. I just can't...

On one hand, yes, Whitney getting her trainer certification would be a good thing on several grounds. First, it would show that she's serious about this NoBS thing, Second, it would give her some credibility beyond being the fat girl who dabbles in exercise and possibly would make her training more appealing to a wider (no pun intended) audience. Third, she would learn how to teach in a way that would be safe for those who sign on under her.

But all the rest... total bullshit. No Whit, you're not an "athlete". And if it weren't for Ryan and others carrying your ass, you'd be doing nothing. Get over yourself.

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They need to rename the show My Big Fat Fabulous Lie. It gets more unbelievably scripted every week. I’d also like to get through one show without Twit mentioning the kiss. That beaten horse died last season! 

Edited by nytonc
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If Heather doesn't stop messing with her hair! The old Catholic school nun in me wants to smack her hands away from her head (yes, the nuns I knew were sadistic beasts). 

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And how many frickin' more times are they going to say that Twit and Buddy kissed???

"Wait, what, they kissed!! Really? When??? No couldn't be!!" /sarcasm 🤮

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2 minutes ago, PupCal said:

I cannot believe all these women are hung up over fuckin Buddy.

I know! Who the H would want him? 🙄

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I wonder if the story line will be reversed next season (if there is one) and Chase will break-up with Twit & date Heather? lol

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Their whole social group is way too enmeshed. They don't live in some small town, and even if it is exhausting. Why do you keep dating/kissing your friend's ex's? It's an unhealthy dynamic.

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36 minutes ago, PupCal said:

I don't believe for a second that Whit/Jessica got

  Hide contents

5th place

at that tournament thing.

Were there more than  5 groups  competing? I ask because I  once won as women's  chess champion.... I was the  only  woman  competing.  

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1 minute ago, Colleenna said:

Were there more than  5 groups  competing? I ask because I  once won as women's  chess champion.... I was the  only  woman  competing.  

I think they said there were 10 teams of 2. If they did come in at 5 it was all Jessica. Not believing it though

Edited by Gramto6 · Reason: typo
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42 minutes ago, Hana Chan said:

I managed to watch a grand total of 10 minutes before calling it quits. I just can't...

I fell asleep for the first half-hour which was the best part of the show for me so far. 

28 minutes ago, PupCal said:

I cannot believe all these women are hung up over fuckin Buddy.

It's not believable because it's not true, just made up for the show. Seriously, whoever writes the script for this show needs to be fired. It's like watching a story about a group of 13 year-olds that is being acted out by a group of people in their mid-thirties (who are pretty bad actors). 

20 minutes ago, xls said:

I wonder if the story line will be reversed next season (if there is one) and Chase will break-up with Twit & date Heather? lol

I'd watch the heck out of that!

Edited by absolutelyido
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43 minutes ago, nytonc said:

They need to rename the show My Big Fat Fabulous Lie. It gets more unbelievably scripted every week. I’d also like to get through one show without Twit mentioning the kiss. That beaten horse died last season! 

My Big Fatuous Fabulist Lie

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9 minutes ago, jacksgirl said:

Come on Whitney. Not a brunch outfit.  Oh, and Buddy you are not a millennial. 

She's wearing the same outfit next week too.

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41 minutes ago, nytonc said:

They need to rename the show My Big Fat Fabulous Lie. It gets more unbelievably scripted every week. I’d also like to get through one show without Twit mentioning the kiss. That beaten horse died last season! 

Oh you could not be more correct....but I think we can leave off the word Fabulous too

27 minutes ago, PupCal said:

I cannot believe all these women are hung up over fuckin Buddy.

Now why would you say that!  What woman wouldn't just crave a slovenly bearded severely underemployed homeless former drug addict?  Oh sorry, I forgot his winning personality.....

 

Seriously writers, you can surely do better than this.  

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Well, I think the reason that all the women went for Buddy was before this season he was apparently the only visible straight guy that they knew.

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Before Whitney anoints herself a personal trainer, she should at the very least learn the difference between her rib cage and her abdominal muscles.

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I always knew Whitney was unpleasant, but tonight she was a straight up bitch. And so condescending. Her barnacles need to dump her ass. 

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40 minutes ago, Dot said:

My Big Fatuous Fabulist Lie

My Big Fat Fatuous  Lie

I'm sure she can get personal trainer  certification  from one of those  online  certificate  mills that require you to  do  an online test and  pay $75 . Unlike my certification,  where the course was $600, and the time-limited PROCTORED test was given at an independent  testing  facility  (and the test was an additional  $100.)

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Whit really thinks she’s the shit now that she’s got a new boyfriend, doesn’t she? Her old friends are not cool enough, live in the wrong town, don’t know how to meet guys, don’t get adorable texts from their new guys and are so jealous of her and her new boyfriend.  Those friends will just have to get used to her new life, and by the way Buddy, you have 10 days to get out of my house.  And must she preface every statement with “ my boyfriend, Chase”.

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So Buddy shows up and Twit demands a "real" hug from him, Buddy recoils at the idea due to Twits obvious sweat covered body (ew). 

Buddy steps back and reveals his man boob sweat that stained his XXL t-shirt.

Isn't it ironic...

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Wait a minute - a girls & gays weekend? I thought Chase was tagging along?

Well then, which is he???

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41 minutes ago, Colleenna said:

My Big Fat Fatuous  Lie

My Big Fat Facetious Lie

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2 hours ago, Hana Chan said:

But all the rest... total bullshit. No Whit, you're not an "athlete". And if it weren't for Ryan and others carrying your ass, you'd be doing nothing. Get over yourself.

How about Ryan - "Let's knock a whole week of this out in one day."  Whit - "Can't. I'm busy." 😄 

Or this - "Ryan is NOT my trainer, he's my peer and business partner.  Of course right now he has to carry all the slack for NoBS workouts."  😄  He may be the trainer - but she could open a cookbook and do some grocery shopping!  "Can't - busy."  😄😄 

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Watching Heather and Ryan make out was disturbing. Seems simply like a case of too much booze and sadness. I thought he only liked 22 year olds anyway. 🙄

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I missed Ep 1 and the cookout, so I wasn't aware that Sweatney's friends all hated Ryan. Well, that's one thing I can get on board with. He's a douchenozzle. Tal called him "gross" and I'm not going to disagree with Tal at all.

Sweatney does one competition where her partner is the daughter of the gym owner, places somewhat respectably because Jessica's mom gives her own daughter and Sweatney the results, and suddenly Sweatney wants to be a personal trainer? Come the fuck on. Even if she did complete the requirements to get certified she'd totally kill someone with her shittastic technique. A total walking lawsuit.

And not to be outdone, Ryan supports Sweatney's potential endeavour because "whatever is going to bring more people in the better for us." Ding ding ding ding ding!!!!
/touches nose

Sweatney says that the only people who are invited to her G'boro friends weekend are the ones who want to see her naked, and Ryan vomits in his mouth a little and says, "Mmmmmm yeah I'm OUT." I thought he dug her enough to hit her up on a dating site?

So, Buddy finally admits to crossing the fleshhold by shrugging it off with "IDK I guess Sweatney was into me" or something, and she throws it in his face that it was "7 minutes back in 2012." He didn't side-eye her or punch her in the throat so I'm wondering if he's being paid off to admit a sexual encounter with her.

I get that Heather has problems letting go of Buddy, but how do they expect her to deal with Buddy as an adult when they keep lying to her about Sweatney & Buddy? What that does is wound Heather, hurt her feelings, and make her paranoid. That's not really conducive to her healing when her 'friends' are going behind her back. Ashley isn't Heather's friend if she's not going to be direct with her about any of it. Like others have said, Ashley just rolls in to do a paycheck and this was a little drive-by. Good for Heather for confronting Sweatney directly r.e. Sweatney basically ghosting her for months (even though Sweatney calls Heather her "best friend").

Sweatney going to the drag brunch in that fucking sports bra and leopard ballet flats & matching leopard necklace with her blubber hanging out everywhere had me praying that a drag queen would come up and snatch her nasty fake hair clip-ons out her head.

Then, the kiss...
Tal: What is HAPPENING? Heather's great, Ryan's a douche, and it's like a fast train to hell.
And Sweatney's concern is "whut's Buhdee gonna think when I tell him?" Fuck off, Sweatney, and stop shit-stirring.

For the record, I had a Pike fratbro boytoy who was just like Ryan (except 4" taller, twice as muscular, and three times more cute) so when he started pawing at Heather I began having flashbacks. When he licked his lips I shook my head and yelled "DON'T DO IT!!!" at Heather. If she does, here's hoping it's longer than the 7 minutes Sweatney supposedly got out of Buddy.

1 hour ago, JustDuckie said:

Wait a minute - a girls & gays weekend? I thought Chase was tagging along?

Well then, which is he???

Yes.

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1 hour ago, Shmoopaloop said:

Watching Heather and Ryan make out was disturbing. Seems simply like a case of too much booze and sadness. I thought he only liked 22 year olds anyway. 🙄

Heather put up an IG story shortly after MBFFL played. No caption, just a gif that seemed to indicate she was embarrassed.

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I think Ryan looked at Heather like most has-been frat boys would. She was nothing more than a booze fueled conquest. He couldn't handle someone not liking him, so he flirted then went in for the kill. Obv Heather was an easy target. Doesn't she have a couple kids? Does anyone really believe that her bio is a love match with his? She should be embarrassed. This is a tv show Heather, not closing time in the corner booth.

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Also, is anyone else surprised by what Jessica’s mom looks like? Not knocking her at all, but it’s just not what I would expect based on the impression I get of Will. 

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2 minutes ago, John M said:

Oh my fucking god, yes, we know you kissed buddy, shut up, are you fucking 12?

Yes. Okay,  maybe 11. 

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TLC clearly moved Whit to Charlotte for a storyline. She'll be back in Greensboro next season. 

I've seen a drag brunch on 3 reality shows lately. Enough already.  

The kitchen convo with Whit and her parents in her parents kitchen was useless and boring. I don't know why her parents agree to film this mess at all.

Heather, girl. What is wrong with you? Crying and being all butt hurt because Whit isn't giving you enough time, then making out with this guy you don't even know. How much they pay you to do that? 

 

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4 hours ago, absolutelyido said:

It's not believable because it's not true, just made up for the show. Seriously, whoever writes the script for this show needs to be fired. It's like watching a story about a group of 13 year-olds that is being acted out by a group of people in their mid-thirties (who are pretty bad actors). 

This....

Nobody's hung up over buddy.  Twit and he kissed on camera just to mention it every 15 minutes for 2 seasons and to create fake "drama" and "tension" supposedly between him and Heather plus Twit's new "boyfriend".  Speaking of which, Chase is most likely an actor hired to be Whitney's boyfriend.  Ryan is also hired.  He only kissed Heather because it was in the script.  Heather goes along with it because she likes the $$ then acts all "embarrassed" on SM.  None of them give a rat's ass that Whitney moved to Charlotte, they're only complaining because it's in the script.  None of them are that close anymore and it's obvious that they only see each other for filming.  They don't even keep it a secret anymore.  The only "benefits" these fake former friends see anymore is in the form of a paycheck from TLC.

Edited by Yeah No
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1 hour ago, John M said:

Ryan is not my trainer, I can't believe people think Ryan is my trainer, Ryan is so not my trainer, how ridiculous is it that people think he is my trainer. He just designs all my workers because I don't know how to design workouts because I am not a trainer and I need a trainer. For our business. Where he is my trainer. Because HE IS MY TRAINER.

My boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend, how weird is it that I have a boyfriend, have I mentioned my boyfriend, you know I have a boyfriend. God damn woman.

Oh my fucking god, yes, we know you kissed buddy, shut up, are you fucking 12?

Stop assaulting that poor waiter, he owes you nothing about his personal life because he is unfortunate enough to be the person paid to bring you drinks. Gross.

Did you know Whitney kissed buddy, the unemployed drug addict with a criminal record? After he and Heather broke up? It's a very big deal, half-hearted kisses between single people are a BIG DEAL. I have literally had sex with one of my husband's oldest friends, he comes to parties at our house, I've made out with husbands ex-partner, he is one of our best friends. There is literally zero drama about it, in fact it is a joke because I WAS SINGLE.

Did I mention my boyfriend? I have a boyfriend. This boyfriend I have mentioned a thousand times that I told you would be the only person you don't know at this gathering is here! He's the only person you don't know. Did you know he is my boyfriend?!?! Yeah, this guy I am hanging all over is MY BOYFRIEND. MEET MY BOYFRIEND!

I gave up at the start of drag queen brunch because as a gay man I know I'm going to be offended and I have to eat dinner WITH MY HUSBAND, I HAVE A HUSBAND, I'M MARRIED, TO MY HUSBAND, because people my age are in commited relationships because IT'S NORMAL.

YES to everything you said @John M

She is such a pathetic loser! She’s emotionally stunted at 11 or 12 like you said! 

The more she says about Chase being her boyfriend the funnier it gets!  Because I’m pretty sure by now everybody realizes Chase is scripted in and paid to be her boyfriend.  Perhaps in her stunted mind, a fake “make believe” BF is better than no bf. She’s always been pathetic but this is hitting a new low of pathetic! 🙄

The other thing is that she’s such a vile, gross, fat, insecure loser that she takes pleasure in Heather’s pain or anyone’s pain for that matter!  

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Part of me thinks Heather face sucking Ryan was a big FU to the Twit. Twit has lorded "the kiss" with Buddy over her ad nauseam, so Heather goes for Ryan...Twit's "peer, partner, equal...whatever" to show her Twit isn't the only one who can kiss and enjoy/brag about it. Go girl!

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Personally I would never go to Whitney as a trainer, no more than I would go to a hairdresser with dirty, unkempt hair or a dentist with bad teeth and bad breath.  Whitney is not physically fit; I'd be too afraid she'd collapse due to some medical condition.  The other oddball choice for her is a career as a nutritionist/dietitian. 

 

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3 hours ago, lightninggirl said:

I get that Heather has problems letting go of Buddy,

But didn't she say, two seasons ago, that she was absolutely over him?

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10 hours ago, jacksgirl said:

Come on Whitney. Not a brunch outfit.  Oh, and Buddy you are not a millennial. 

Whitney probably thought that was formal wear lol.   Actually Buddy is probably an old millennial if he’s around Whitney’s age.  I’m a little younger than these folks and I’m a millennial. It runs from 1981-1995 or 1996 I think.  

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10 hours ago, JustDuckie said:

I think Ryan looked at Heather like most has-been frat boys would. She was nothing more than a booze fueled conquest. He couldn't handle someone not liking him, so he flirted then went in for the kill. Obv Heather was an easy target. Doesn't she have a couple kids? Does anyone really believe that her bio is a love match with his? She should be embarrassed. This is a tv show Heather, not closing time in the corner booth.

Honestly, I think this was more of Ryan maximizing his camera time.  If this were just a bar I’d think Ryan’s probably trying to get laid, but here I think he was like NOPE I’m getting into at least 48 mins of this hour episode. Yet again, I feel like Heather has drawn the short stick in storylines.  I don’t think Ryan is unattractive, but again not my type....way too short, but physically miles ahead of Buddy, and at least seems to want to work.  Both have unattractive personalities. 

Edited by Irate Panda
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Really liked Chase!  If he is scripted, he’s doing a Great Job!  Very cute, super nice and respectful. If it’s all fake, at least Whit gets to see how she Should Be Treated by a partner.  
Buddy is a leech.  He’s spent more time whining about “not having time” to find a new place than he’s spent time looking for a new place. Whatever Buddy.  Go back home, he probably needs to family support, so he should be kinder.

Ashley is as subtle as a herd of buffalo.  Seriously?  “I need a hanger and there are none in that closet because it is full of Buddy’s clothes!  Did I say Buddy?  Oops!”  
Heather is OVER Buddy but she has to keep up this facade because she really misses being a bigger part of this show, I mean Whitney’s life, so she’s holding on to this storyline for dear life.  The messy making out in front of everyone was tacky.  She has such low self-esteem, it is sad to watch.

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12 minutes ago, Eme said:

Ashley is as subtle as a herd of buffalo.  Seriously?  “I need a hanger and there are none in that closet because it is full of Buddy’s clothes!  Did I say Buddy?  Oops!”  

I think Ashley said the closet was full of Chase's clothes. It was Whitney who contorted her face into massive puzzlement, then said the clothes were Buddy's. No surprise there - Whitney was just itching to tell Heather her ex was a regular overnight guest .

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2 hours ago, Eme said:

Really liked Chase!  If he is scripted, he’s doing a Great Job!  Very cute, super nice and respectful. If it’s all fake, at least Whit gets to see how she Should Be Treated by a partner.  
Buddy is a leech.  He’s spent more time whining about “not having time” to find a new place than he’s spent time looking for a new place. Whatever Buddy.  Go back home, he probably needs to family support, so he should be kinder.

Ashley is as subtle as a herd of buffalo.  Seriously?  “I need a hanger and there are none in that closet because it is full of Buddy’s clothes!  Did I say Buddy?  Oops!”  
Heather is OVER Buddy but she has to keep up this facade because she really misses being a bigger part of this show, I mean Whitney’s life, so she’s holding on to this storyline for dear life.  The messy making out in front of everyone was tacky.  She has such low self-esteem, it is sad to watch.

I agree so far Chase is one of the more palatable people on the show (that ain’t saying much), so he’s either not all that bad or a better actor than the theater kids.  Then again if you’re judging him as a straight boyfriend, you’re basically comparing him to Buddy and Ryan.  Buddy seems like a whiny bum and Ryan is willing to work and decent looking(that’s not saying much, and always looks clean ) but seems to always be “on”.  Granted he’s probably try to spin this into a show for him in a short amount of time, but I’d love to see the producers instructions to each cast member.

Heather, go look pitiful.

Ashley, pretend you need space in the closet.

Chase, stop crying!

Edited by Irate Panda
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Was any brunch consumed at Drag Brunch?  I mean, I like mimosas and drag queens as much as the next girl or gay, but if there's "brunch" in the name of the event, I want some damn French toast.

I spent too much of this episode marveling about how Hat!Ryan is cute in a dudebro kind of way, but Hatless!Ryan looks like a complete dork.  How is that possible?

I was thrilled to see Ryan and Chase pick up another dudebro, because then I could call them, collectively, "a douche."  Because a group of dudebros = a douche, much like a group of cats = a clowder, or a group of crows = a murder.  Really.  James Lipton said so.  [No, not really.  But appropriate, no?]

Edited by Lovecat
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Well look at Whitney's fabulous life in Charlotte.  She has all manner of men around her doesn't she?  Her booyyyfriend Chase planning picnics, Buddy has dedicated space in the closet.  Aren't you all so jelly?

Bitch please.  The silence from Buddy was deafening when she mentioned their "moment" in 2002 or whatever the fuck. TLC still ain't paying him enough to actually VOICE anything happened.  They only came up with enough that he won't flat out deny it anymore. 

I think the reason she's letting this facade of a boyfriend happen is because she knows it will never really happen. When she's sitting on the couch waiting for her turn with Dr. Now she can pop in the vhs and relive the one time a man called himself her boyfriend.  Even if it was make believe. 

 

And Whitney, a sports bra to brunch? Just no.  Never okay. 

Edited by Brooklynista
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Yes, the sports bra and leggings were so out of place at lunch.  She should have tossed on a cute dress over what she had on- it’s like she stopped dressing before she was done.... She will never be accused of having too much class, but SOMEONE -a Director? Stylist?  Should have told her to put on something more appropriate for lunch with friends.  Also, do they ever show her eating?  

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