S04.E09: So Long, Marianne

[Lsk02]

24 minutes ago, Ohmo said:

Serious question about Lucy (Jack's wife): Can pregnant women eat shrimp safely?  Isn't it raw?

Shrimp is not served raw, at least in the US. Raw shrimp is grey and has a full shell with a head and legs. Shrimp cocktail (like they had) is either steamed or boiled, cleaned, and served chilled. And is safe in moderation for pregnant women. 

[cam3150]

26 minutes ago, Ohmo said:

Serious question about Lucy (Jack's wife): Can pregnant women eat shrimp safely?  Isn't it raw?

Not sure about the pregnant woman part but shrimp is pink when cooked and gray when raw. So they were eating cooked shrimp. 

[tennisgurl]

Even with the problems, this Thanksgiving wasnt quite the hot mess I was anticipating, as Rebecca's dementia walk was actually happening in the future! Oh show, you got me again! Just when I think your gonna zig you zag! That was a strong episode, it seems like this half of the season has gone by so fast! I cant believe we have to wait until 2020 to see what happens next! 

Rebecca's plot was so heartbreaking, no matter when it took place. I was thinking how this has really escalated quickly from Rebecca losing her phone to getting totally lost and seeing people who are dead and couldn't believe that Miguel didnt notice any of this, but this is actually in the future, which explains a lot. Mandy is really killing it, this is going to be so hard to watch, but she is doing great work here.

Come on Kate, you couldn't have just let Toby have this one thing?! What does it hurt to let him think he saw Jack Jrs first solid food, how does that hurt anyone? He was so excited, and that just hurt him for no reason, and while I am all for telling the truth (and lord knows Kate and Tony need to have an honest conversation) this seems like a white lie of omission that hurts no one. Given what she said later, it almost seems like she did it because she was annoyed about him talking to his Cross-Fit friends so much, and wanted to burst his bubble. I can get Kate feeling left behind with Toby getting into shape, and him spending so much time on cross-fit, but dont forget, he had a heart attack last year! When he was only in his late 30s/early 40s! Thats very dangerous, so him wanting to get into shape has some real urgency to it beyond being worried about physical appearance, him getting into shape is the best thing he could do, especially if he wants to be there for his newborn baby. I wouldn't be surprised if this had something to do with his depression as well, as working out often helps with depression, so maybe he is afraid if he slows down, he will have another episode? Toby complaining to his friends about Kate not supporting him and being obviously annoyed with him isnt cool, but he is clearly hurt and the two of them REALLY need to talk. Like, right now. 

I would totally follow Miguel on Insta. 

Everything with Nicky worked great for me, he was so sad to see how much of his brothers life he missed, and so touched when he realized that Jack never forgot his brother and tried to share him with his family, even if they didnt know it. Him wearing the Pilgrim Rick hat especially got me in the happy place! I really like to think that if Jack hadn't died so young and so suddenly, they could have reconciled. 

Uncle Kevin is one of the best Kevin's! He was so great with Annie and Tess, and him helping Tess was so sweet and was actually pretty decent advice. It gave her confidence, but didnt push her to do anything she didnt want to do. I can totally see Kevin maybe becoming a counselor or something, he really does excel when it comes to people and knowing what they need, and even when he messes up, he tries so hard to make it better.

I was just thinking of how great it was to see how far Randall and Kevin have come and how much closer they have become, but then that flash-forward! Why is Randall not speaking to his family and vice versa?! 

Edited November 20, 2019 by tennisgurl

[LexieLily]

Here is a thought: Kevin and Randall had the scene where Kevin said he enjoyed feeling like he was responsible for people and that by the time he was forty he wanted a wife and kids and all of that. So Kevin/Randall not speaking could have to do with Rebecca's care, but what if it's not? 

Kevin is the one Tess opened up to about how she was feeling about the memes going around school. Kevin is the one Tess had the scene with last season in her room about her coming to terms with her sexuality. What if something else happens and Tess goes to not her father Randall, but to Kevin?

Something along those lines also plays against the storyline in the past of Jack's jealousy of Randall and Mr. Lawrence.

Edited November 20, 2019 by LexieLily

[JKL845]

Annie! Love seeing her, such a cutie and how excited she was to get the Thanksgiving box. 

Sorry Nicky, you erased yourself with your actions. Being an alcoholic and responsible for the boys death. Jack did a lot to save you but he had to distance himself and his family from those destructive behaviors. But I like seeing Nicky getting his life together and his good memories with Jack. 

I always enjoy Kevin and Tess scenes. I thought the Beth and Kate scenes were good too.

Grown Jack keeping up the tradition from his very first Thanksgiving was a nice touch. 

Great episode.

Edited November 20, 2019 by JKL845

[tennisgurl]

“My name is Tess Pearson, and I’m gay!” “...That’s cool... did you want fries or chips with that?”

[A.Ham]

23 minutes ago, tennisgurl said:

Come on Kate, you couldn't have just let Toby have this one thing?!

Right? The moment she said “I gotta tell you something” It looked to me like even adorable baby Jack was trying to talk her out of it. He nodded his head quickly the way that babies do-great timing if it was coincidental. Too cute. And yes, Kate is a fool but Toby’s reaction was very eye roll worthy.

[memememe76]

I forgot to mention that Randall’s anxiety may escalate later this season. It may become so serious that Kate Kevin and Miguel would rather say they’re not talking to Randall than tell Rebecca the truth.

[RedDelicious]

1 hour ago, ByaNose said:

I’m not happy that Toby is getting action on the side. Hopefully, it’s just a CrossFit wife and not a cheating wife. 

Aren’t they one and the same? 🤔

I think This is Us just Crock-Potted CrossFit for anyone who was ever skeptical. 

[qtpye]

43 minutes ago, memememe76 said:

I loved the scene between Kate and Beth because you so rarely see them together. 
 

I suspect we will see Rebecca and Miguel get together the same episode where we see them apart, either due to Rebecca’s memory loss or his death. Kinda like the Randall and Beth episode from last season.

Kevin’s “We’re not speaking” could mean Kevin and Randall, or Rebecca forcing everyone not to speak to him. Maybe Kevin and Shawna hook up?

Maybe Kevin gets engaged to Zendaya, breaking Tess’s heart, and that’s why Randall is not speaking to him on their 40th birthday?

Just kidding.

I think Deja really thought her mom needed her to take care of her. The roles were reversed and Deja kind of took on the parental figure with her birth mom.

Now, she probably feels like she was holding the birth mom back from living her best life. The birth mom almost seemed relieved that Deja was no longer her worry.

[momma2rnr]

2 hours ago, gonzosgirrl said:

It did look like he was going back to fhe trailer with Nicky after all, so he could easily hook up with Cassidy if the reconciliation with her husband didnt work out.

That's true, but if she got pregnant in the current timeline, she'd be close to delivering by their bday.

My guess is its Cassidy, but she is in her first trimester on their bday so that's why the morning sickness. Since she's someone he knows, the pregnancy/engagement may not seem as rushed as it would if I were someone brand new. Also, they'd have to wait for her divorce to be final, then maybe she gets pregnant and they decide to wait until the baby comes before getting married. 🤷‍♀️

[LoveLeigh]

Who is Kevin's fiancé? I liked the time juxtaposition to make us think Rebecca was lost on Thanksgiving when it was on the big 3's 40th birthday party. 

[chocolatine]

1 hour ago, Diana Berry said:

I think Kevin will get with Kate’s friend... the cute blonde.  She already knows the family and their quirks and she wasn’t star struck by Kevin.

It looks like Kevin is living somewhere rural and East Coast-y in the nine-month flash-forward. Madison is very much an LA girl, and present-day Kevin is also based there, so if Madison was the baby mama, they would most likely have stayed LA, especially with Kate/Toby and Rebecca/Miguel nearby. I think the flash-forward is in Bradford, PA, and the baby mama is Cassidy. Cassidy wouldn't want to move too far away from her older son.

So present-day Rebecca told Randall she would see a doctor, and if she did, I would assume she got a diagnosis of dementia or Alzheimers. Yet, nine months later, with the disease presumably progressing, her husband and children let her wander off by herself in an unfamiliar place? Without even putting a smartwatch on her wrist in case she misplaces her phone, or putting notes with everyone's phone numbers and addresses in her purse? 

1 hour ago, tennisgurl said:

I would totally follow Miguel on Insta. 

BigMig45! 😂

I noticed that Randall is now driving a Volvo instead of the $140k paid-for-in-cash Mercedes he used to be so fond of. I guess that was supposed to be another symbol of the "downsizing".

[Tabbygirl521]

I feel like my head is about to explode. Real-time Big 3 Life has only progressed 3 months since the series began? How in the name of God would that be possible? 

[izabella]

2 minutes ago, chocolatine said:

It looks like Kevin is living somewhere rural and East Coast-y in the nine-month flash-forward. Madison is very much an LA girl, and present-day Kevin is also based there, so if Madison was the baby mama, they would most likely have stayed LA, especially with Kate/Toby and Rebecca/Miguel nearby. I think the flash-forward is in Bradford, PA, and the baby mama is Cassidy. Cassidy wouldn't want to move too far away from her older son.

I am under the impression they were at the family cottage for the birthday.  That's what it looked like to me.  But I thought they were selling that.  Didn't they all go out there in the first season to clean it out?

[chocolatine]

4 minutes ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

I feel like my head is about to explode. Real-time Big 3 Life has only progressed 3 months since the series began? How in the name of God would that be possible? 

No, the present-day POV has always been in real time. The series started when they turned 36; they're now 39.

[hula-la]

I remember that when my sister’s children were young, we agreed that if a big milestone happened while we were babysitting, we would keep quiet, and pretend we saw nothing. Kate needed to keep quiet about the avocado. It’s not like little Jack would say anything.

While I’m concerned that Randall and Kevin aren’t speaking, the 10 years in the future flash forward they are, so it gives me hope.

Edited November 20, 2019 by hula-la

[Tabbygirl521]

5 minutes ago, chocolatine said:

No, the present-day POV has always been in real time. The series started when they turned 36; they're now 39.

Thank you! I was thinking it started when they were 39 and I was losing my mind. 

[colorbars]

I don't think we're supposed to think Toby is cheating and I don't think Kate thinks that either. I think it was just supposed to show that Toby was complaining about her to his friends, which both showed he wasn't actually over it like he claimed, but also because earlier, Beth had told her that if the only people they're talking about their problems to are people outside the marriage, then that's not good.

The Rebecca scenes were hard to watch, oof. Not sure how I'm gonna be able to handle all of this stuff going forward, it's really gonna hurt.

I definitely prefer the smaller time jumps, and I'm curious to see what the deal with Kevin's fiancee is. The mystery would suggest it might be someone we know, but it could just be so they can give us another misdirect throughout the back half of the season, like they did with Cassidy. If Cassidy doesn't turn out to be said fiancee, I'm not convinced she's actually gone. But at the same time, I really don't picture her as the type that would agree to get married that quickly, pregnant or not.

Annie is always adorable, and I loved Tess' little subplot this episode. She has great taste in women too! Glad her classmates were supportive.

Edited November 20, 2019 by colorbars

[3 is enough]

2 hours ago, Ohmo said:

Serious question about Lucy (Jack's wife): Can pregnant women eat shrimp safely?  Isn't it raw?

No, it was cooked.  Served chilled, but cooked.  Raw shrimp is greyish white- it only turns pink after it is cooked.

ETA:  Sorry to be redundant.  I see the question has been answered multiple times already.

Edited November 20, 2019 by 3 is enough

[JKL845]

I also liked Beth encouraging Deja to remember the best times with her mom.

Edited November 20, 2019 by JKL845

[Spencer Hastings]

1 minute ago, JKL845 said:

I also liked Beth encouraging Deja to remember the best times with her mom.

The birthday party nine months in the future was at Rebecca and Miguel's house in CA. They said they were bringing her home.

I assumed they were in PA because the officers said “You’re a long way from Los Angeles.”  Of course she could’ve wandered off anywhere in California but I’m still going with East coast. 

[JKL845]

14 minutes ago, Spencer Hastings said:

I assumed they were in PA because the officers said “You’re a long way from Los Angeles.”  Of course she could’ve wandered off anywhere in California but I’m still going with East coast. 

yeah, never mind, my mistake. I just rewatched and Rebecca tells them she is out there visiting relatives. Must be Kevin's new place. On the police uniform it says Bethlehem so it is in PA.

Edited November 20, 2019 by JKL845

[NUguy514]

Let's see, a loving wife could:

A) Allow her husband to believe he saw his son take his first bite of solid food, which, while not the truth, is the tiniest thing in the world to keep quiet about since it hurts no one and makes her husband so happy.

Or

B) Do the exact opposite of that.

Kate, of course, chooses B.  Congratulations, girl, you've won a shitty marriage!  Seriously, though, she told him specifically to hurt him because she's mad that he's lost weight.  Such an asshole.

Toby, though, your reaction wasn't princely either, buddy, and you're an asshole for bringing tempeh to Thanksgiving, which would get you summarily and expediently banished from my Thanksgiving.

Cocktail shrimp is absolutely the worst use of shrimp, and five pounds of it is revolting, but I guess we all have our peccadillos.  Not at Thanksgiving, though.  (Also, hot dogs at Thanksgiving??  I'm having a WASP meltdown.)

I don't care about Future Blind!Jack.  I didn't like him in the premiere, and I don't care about him and his wife and their future baby and their shrimp and their hot dogs.  Really, it's that I hate both of his parents, so, by the transitive property, I don't like him.  It's basic math, and math doesn't lie.

It's gotten to the point where every time Smuggy McFavoriteChild smugly smiles, I just want to punch him.  I don't blame Kevin (and...maybe everyone else?) for not speaking to him in the future.

Nicky, all the feelings about Jack and "So Long, Marianne" coupled with the "I look like a Viagra commercial" comment?

I really appreciated Beth's mixed emotions and how she put those aside to support Deja while honoring Shauna, and I always love interactions between her and Miguel (Migs!!).

Mandy Moore is doing some terrific work this season.

Kevin, you're the best, buddy!  Especially when you're with your nieces!  I loved how he helped Tess; that kind of supportive, non-judgmental love is exactly what he does best, and it helped Tess in exactly the right way.

Annie, you and your perfectly timed eye rolls win at everything in life from now until the end of time!

[Spencer Hastings]

After the recent Days of Our Lives time jump, I must’ve been a little on edge because I literally screamed “OH COME ON” at the Thanksgiving/40th birthday fake-out. I’m really curious about the state of things 9 months from now. 

I spent the whole episode talking about that a jackass Jack was for erasing Nicky.  I don’t even know if I think the poem thing is sweet—I was more annoyed that Jack plagiarized Nicky’s words. 😂 I get that it was his way of including Nicky in the family but that just bummed me out more.  

The shrimp inclusion was really nicely done.  I may have teared up seeing Baby Jack with his five pounds of future shrimp. 

[bros402]

4 hours ago, ams1001 said:

"I look like I'm in a Viagra commercial." 🤣

Where is she gonna find a pie on Thanksgiving Day? (Will it be a blueberry pie?)

So how long was the trip to Alpine and back in Randall World? An hour and a half maybe?

Re: Pie - there are some places around here (mostly grocery stores) that are open on limited hours on Thanksgiving. Then, of course, the last few years, they open at like 6-8 PM for early Black Friday sales.

Well with the trip to Alpine, Randall said Rebecca was going to see the new DeNiro movie - it has a 3 hr 30 min runtime, let's say 4 hours with trailers to be very generous.

Philly to Alpine in normal traffic is 1 hour 50 minutes one way.

The Turnpike is always backed up on Thanksgiving - in both directions. My experience is going down towards Philly, but it can take us upwards of two hours to get from Central Jersey to Cherry Hill (A town in NJ about ~15 minutes outside of Philly). That trip can take us 1 hour 20 minutes with no traffic.

Let's up Randall's drive to 2 1/2 hours each way with traffic, or 5 hours.

So let's say Rebecca spent another 30 minutes getting a pie. That would bring the total up to 4 1/2 hours.

Even if it took the regular 1 hour 50 minutes, round it up to 2 hours, so 4 hours round trip, Randall shouldn't have been worried, especially since he expected his mother to be at a movie he knew was 3 1/2 hours long.

3 hours ago, Ohmo said:

This is not word for word, but the jist was Toby saying that he was trying to get past it (presumably the deal with the avocado) and someone in the chat responded with "Don't let her bring you down.  We're here for you."

Serious question about Lucy (Jack's wife): Can pregnant women eat shrimp safely?  Isn't it raw?

I have neutropenia due to cancer - a weakened immune system - raw anything is a *huge* no-no. I imagine it is similar with pregnancy

[LoveLeigh]

1 hour ago, bros402 said:

I have neutropenia due to cancer - a weakened immune system - raw anything is a *huge* no-no. I imagine it is similar with pregnancy

Within all the commentary about this episode, your neutropenia jumped out at me. I never heard of that. I looked it up. BROS402 I hope all goes well for you. And Happy Thanksgiving.

[MissLucas]

I always like episodes that pair characters that are normally not interacting much with each other, so this was great: Beth and Miguel (and yes, more Miguel please!), Russell Randall and Nicky, Tess and Kevin, Beth and Kate - all great.

I think the text on Toby's phone is a red herring and was probably referring to another member of the CrossFit group. But being Kate she will not keep that to herself and when Toby realizes that she has been reading his texts there will be more drama because that's their marriage's middle name.

I was mostly with Toby during the last couple of episodes but not this time. I got tense just listening to his hymns about the powers of CrossFit, nut cheese and tempeh and I'm not struggling with my weight. Read the damn room, Toby - your weight is no longer your biggest problem (and good for you) but your marriage is and it's time you realize that and stop proselytizing about the wonders of CrossFit next to your wife.

I also think the last scene was in the family cottage. Kevin sure did not hesitate with his new resolutions. It looks as if Rebecca's health was the reason for the rift but on this show you never know. 

[debraran]

7 hours ago, Runningwild said:

Not some reason. Lots of reasons. 
 

She had to tell him about the avocado.  She’s pissed at him because he lost weight and has made a lifestyle change. And let’s not forget she sold his Star Wars guys. 
 

That’s three off the top of my head. 

One of the things like text/Instragram etc do is put a printed message that others can see that also can be misconstrued. When I used to work out at a local community center, many of the people there would work out hard but also talk about food a lot. Then there was the venting at times, "wife is angry I didn't do this, husband thinks I spend too much time at gym, kid issues etc" None of it was awful, and if someone went to far, it was balanced later by something else. That line at a gym could have been passing, "Toby, let it go, don't let her get you down, stay focused, etc. " Remember they don't know Kate at all, she's a name pretty much. Writing it down in a group chat looks worse and he should be smarter but this is real life and TV. People are writing things that would have been pretty much forgotten and having to explain it.

I hope the fight wasn't over Randall not telling the others about their mother, further making his "favorite" role more cemented.  I don't see that with her memory loss being a big thing if babysitting or something more important later in life. I hope it takes time, if Kevin's kid is about 8 in flash forward ansd being born now, doesn't give Rebecca too much time.

 Randall said you have 9 months and the flash forward at the cabin and Kevin is engaged and his fiance pregnant. Wow, he did rush. lol I guess birthcontrol on TV never works or maybe they were in a hurry. If this child is born, maybe there are 2 children since the timeline seemed longer than 8 or so years between Kevin having big house and now.

I didn't see little Jack but he'd be about 1 and they'd need a new baby. ; )

Edited November 20, 2019 by debraran

[RedDelicious]

Also the text was from someone he has in his phone as Lady Kryptonite, and we all know what kryptonite does to Superman. He is powerless against it. 

[debraran]

2 hours ago, Spencer Hastings said:

After the recent Days of Our Lives time jump, I must’ve been a little on edge because I literally screamed “OH COME ON” at the Thanksgiving/40th birthday fake-out. I’m really curious about the state of things 9 months from now. 

I spent the whole episode talking about that a jackass Jack was for erasing Nicky.  I don’t even know if I think the poem thing is sweet—I was more annoyed that Jack plagiarized Nicky’s words. 😂 I get that it was his way of including Nicky in the family but that just bummed me out more.  

The shrimp inclusion was really nicely done.  I may have teared up seeing Baby Jack with his five pounds of future shrimp. 

I felt like you, that Jack was redeemed in a way, but then it cemented my anger at keeping Nicky out even more. He felt bad and still his pride wouldn't let him answer a letter or postcard and he acted like Nicky was going to hurt his family. He almost threatened him in a way. 

But if it helps Nicky on the show to hold onto that part, one of his happiest Thanksgivings, go for it.  He lost so many years, kids are having kids now and he can start new memories and I really like his addition to the family.

That song and story was sweet and it made me remember Nicky was the better student, wanted to be a doctor and made me feel sad that so much was broken. Jack was concerned about Nicky hurting his bandaids and you can understand that but Nicky was never a criminal, a pedophile.

The writers promised they would show Miguel and Rebecca in happy times and I'm still waiting. Let us see her laugh, have fun, go out, laugh again, show us the happy times before she gets sick.

[Higgins]

7 hours ago, Blakeston said:

The text Toby got from "Lady Dynamite" was part of a group chat, so I really don't think he's having a physical affair. (They'd be incredibly stupid to be that open about it.)

Also, with a full-fledged sexual affair, I think the writers would have gone with a more shocking, less ambiguous revelation. Like a text that says, "I can't wait to rip your clothes off when you come back." That would be a much juicier teaser.

It's showing the insidious nature of his actions. He is sharing things with these people that should be shared with family and friends, not strangers to his wife.

[Madding crowd]

7 hours ago, mtlchick said:

Randall mentioned she went to go see  “The new De Niro movie.” His current one The Irishman clocks in at 3.5 hours. That plus previews...that is at least 4 hours, and then she went to buy pie. 

I understood that but this is Rebecca’s chance to visit with her granddaughters who she  doesn’t see often, everyone was held up waiting to eat dinner and Miguel would have to know that Rebecca wouldn’t want to spend hours at a movie by herself on Thanksgiving. The Pearson’s are all about family time. I could see her wanting to go for a walk but just don’t buy a movie.

Edited November 20, 2019 by Madding crowd

[JudyObscure]

This season:

We found out baby Jack is profoundly blind.  So that when Toby tells him that sweet potatoes are orange we have that punch in the gut feeling knowing that the concept of color will always be meaningless to him.

Baby Jack's parents are not getting along and may divorce even though he will need a stable home even more than most children.

Randall's family had to move and it seems sad to me to see them all in the new house. 

Randall is clearly angry at his mother for getting sick although he knows that isn't fair and we know the anger comes from fear.

Kate has to live with terrible guilt knowing her baby's blindness might not have happened if she had been able to lose weight first.

Nicky's sadness  knowing how much he has missed.  All because his brother couldn't forgive him for an accident that happened during war, while Nicky was suffering PTSD from all he had seen as a medic.

Most of all: Rebecca's terrifying loss of memory.   Her fear and confusion was so well acted -- I could barely stand to watch it!

I'm going to have to quit the show. This has become too depressing  to me and not good tears at all.

Edited November 20, 2019 by JudyObscure

[Blakeston]

4 hours ago, colorbars said:

I don't think we're supposed to think Toby is cheating and I don't think Kate thinks that either. I think it was just supposed to show that Toby was complaining about her to his friends, which both showed he wasn't actually over it like he claimed, but also because earlier, Beth had told her that if the only people they're talking about their problems to are people outside the marriage, then that's not good.

I think they're revealing that Toby is oversharing with his Crossfit buddies, and also teasing viewers with the prospect of a sexual affair that isn't happening. I think it's very intentional that the text was from someone with "Lady" in their name, who said that she would be there for him - as opposed to "we're here for you."

Those details will make Kate a lot more insecure than if she had just seen Toby's text.

1 hour ago, debraran said:

I hope the fight wasn't over Randall not telling the others about their mother, further making his "favorite" role more cemented. 

Oh, wow, you probably hit the nail on the head there. I can totally see them giving us a plotline where Randall continues to keep Rebecca's secret, and then one of the other Pearsons allows her to be in a dangerous situation. Possibly even something that involves her endangering baby Jack.

If that happens, I could totally see Kate and/or Kevin hitting the roof when they find out that the situation could have been avoided if Randall had told them about her condition.

I'm also wondering if it's a brain tumor rather than dementia - which goes into remission, then comes back later down the line, leading to the scene with Rebecca on her deathbed.

[Rebky]

7 hours ago, Lily H said:

Kate was very much in the wrong when she spilled the beans (or avocado, in this case) to Toby about Jack's actual first time eating. There was no reason at all to spoil his happiness. This is one case where "what he doesn't know won't hurt him" is a valid principle.

So you've heard me screaming this at the tv since it first happened?  Cool! Great minds think alike. 

[ElectricBoogaloo]

8 hours ago, txhorns79 said:

I don't even think Crossfit is the issue.  Rather, Crossfit is just magnifying what's already seriously wrong in Kate and Toby's relationship.  And while obviously Kate played a role in getting she and Toby to this point, I just can't with someone who is using a Crossfit group text to complain about his wife, and invite others to offer their judgment.  It's just wrong.   

8 hours ago, debraran said:

I feel the Crossfit stuff is because the few people I've known who did it and coworkers who had boyfriends who did it, it's almost a cult thing.  Some of them get really into it, right down to the clothes they wear. One women told me when her boyfriend sees another person wearing crossfit stuff in a store, they stop and talk, sometimes for a while. It can be very addicting. Another woman I used to work with broke up with her guy because of his obsession with competing and the "club" of them hanging out.

I'm not putting Crossfit down and some have a healthy relationship with it, but others, it's a bit much. I think they are having Toby be that way.

I think for Kate, it's a combination of the two. For some people Crossfit does become very culty and they become really obsessed with it. For them it's not like joining a regular gym where you tell your spouse, "I'm going to the gym after work so I'll be home an hour later," and that's the extent of your gym talk. It's all the stuff that Kate mentioned - the acronyms, the food charts, etc. It's like living with someone who just decided to start doing MLM and is fanatical about how amazing it is and is constantly talking about it and trying to recruit everyone else to do it (as we saw with Toby telling Miguel to come down, meet with his trainer, get on a meal plan, and immediately lose five pounds).

On top of that, she feels left out. Not only is he losing weight but he has a whole new group of friends who he spends a lot of time with. And now she knows that he has been complaining about her to these new friends. As Beth pointed out, if you're only going to other people about what's happening in your marriage, it can be dangerous territory.

Compounding the issue is that she spends all day with the baby so she's frustrated, overwhelmed, and tired. Even new parents of babies without special needs can feel resentful of the other person getting to do non-baby stuff.

I'm not saying that either of them are the bad guy in this situation though. Toby is totally allowed to do Crossfit, change his diet, get in shape, and make new friends. Everyone is allowed to make changes in their lives even when they're married. But Kate is allowed to feel excluded and hurt.

7 hours ago, tennisgurl said:

I would totally follow Miguel on Insta.

Unfortunately, of the three accounts we learned about this week, only Toby's (beastmode2250) is real (and it only has one post). Miguel's account (bigmig45) exists but there are no posts. Tess's account (rallyqueen) doesn't exist.

[sigmaforce86]

8 hours ago, Ohmo said:

I didn't think that Kate took Damon (Toby's last name) when they married.  Jack's name on his incubator was Jack Pearson Damon.  I'm not sure that Kate's use of Pearson means anything at this point.

Yeah I've been debating between kept Pearson and didn't bother to sign the full hyphened name and why take the time to show the actual form instead of just Kate at the table writing.  With any other show I'd say it means something for them to show the form and signature, that it's a wasted shot to do that over the shoulder onto the form thing for no reason.  On the other hand this is a show that doesn't mind red herrings and misdirection's.  So at this point I guess I'd say it caught my eye and made me think but it could mean a lot or nothing at all.

[Higgins]

4 minutes ago, icemiser69 said:

Toby's Crossfit buddies are his friends, part of his social group.

I think it is far better for Toby to talk to his Crossfit friends, then Kate blabbing to Beth.  If anything, Kate talking to Beth is worse.  Beth would blab to Randall and Randall would get involved.  No one wants Randall involved.   If Beth doesn't tell Randall, then Beth is keeping secrets from Randall.  If Randall finds out, then he would have to tell Kevin and Rebecca.  All of sudden all of the Pearsons are involved in Toby's and Kate's marriage.  That won't end well. 

CrossFit buddies are fake.

[Higgins]

4 minutes ago, icemiser69 said:

Fake or not,  anything is better than getting family involved.

I'm not speaking to his marital problems but he is sharing everything with people who are strangers to his wife. It's a problem. Why would people he happens to be exercising with care about his baby's first solid food? That's just strange and cultish.

[ShadowFacts]

5 hours ago, Spencer Hastings said:

I spent the whole episode talking about that a jackass Jack was for erasing Nicky.  I don’t even know if I think the poem thing is sweet—I was more annoyed that Jack plagiarized Nicky’s words. 😂 I get that it was his way of including Nicky in the family but that just bummed me out more.  

Yeah, me too.  That just highlighted that Jack in fact froze Nicky out and that is irreversible.  It didn't endear Jack to me at all, and I'm kind of happy that shrimp endured into the next generation's Thanksgiving rituals.  Maybe even replaced the hike of a particular length, which we didn't see this time. 

[Haleth]

Another huge misdirect!  Was this a first for TIU?  Four time periods?  Loved the quick glimpse of grown up Baby Jack with the new traditional 5 lbs of shrimp.  (Thanks, Nicky!)  I'm sad that Randall and Kevin will not be speaking and Kate is apparently (maybe?) divorced in 9 months.

Griffin Dunne was the standout in a fantastic cast.  His pain, fighting tears while in the car with Randall was palpable.

9 hours ago, Madding crowd said:

Very good episode but I kept wondering why Miguel wasn’t concerned with Rebecca being gone so long, he has to be noticing things. 

I know!  I was wondering why Miguel wasn't worried too.  I guess that should have been a clue that Rebecca was still ok.

1 hour ago, Blakeston said:

Oh, wow, you probably hit the nail on the head there. I can totally see them giving us a plotline where Randall continues to keep Rebecca's secret, and then one of the other Pearsons allows her to be in a dangerous situation. Possibly even something that involves her endangering baby Jack.

Was it last Thanksgiving (or the one before) that Kevin went for a drive while drunk with Annie in the car?

I agree that both Kate and Toby are insufferable.

[LoveLeigh]

7 hours ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

I feel like my head is about to explode. Real-time Big 3 Life has only progressed 3 months since the series began? How in the name of God would that be possible? 

Why do you say that? So much happened it could not be 3 months. Kate was pregnant for almost 9 months. 

[ams1001]

8 hours ago, tennisgurl said:

I would totally follow Miguel on Insta.

BigMig45, was it? (I wonder if that's the year he was born...or I could totally be misremembering the number.) Show should totally make that instagram.

[Jillybean]

Kate was wearing a ring on her left ring finger in the 40th birthday scene. This doesn't mean she and Toby are still together then, but I don't see them broken up 9 months after present-day Thanksgiving. Toby and baby Jack must've been lurking around there somewhere.

I did wonder who decked out the house in all the 40th birthday decor. I don't see Kevin and Kate doing that for themselves (maybe his fiancee). I'm also wondering how and why Rebecca was in a position to wander far away from the cabin on the birthday.

Edited November 20, 2019 by Jillybean

[nlkm9]

9 hours ago, ByaNose said:

We already diving into Rebecca’s possible dementia and we don’t even know how she and Miguel hooked up. I mean we know but we don’t know. All in all, a good fall finale. I’m not happy that Toby is getting action on the side. Hopefully, it’s just a CrossFit wife and not a cheating wife. 

i say 95% certainty its an emotional affair of sorts, otherwise it would not be on public chat. maybe lady kryptonite likes him, and theyre flirty.....gym folks (I am one) tend to get a little wrapped up in our tribe...

[nlkm9]

3 hours ago, debraran said:

I felt like you, that Jack was redeemed in a way, but then it cemented my anger at keeping Nicky out even more. He felt bad and still his pride wouldn't let him answer a letter or postcard and he acted like Nicky was going to hurt his family. He almost threatened him in a way. 

But if it helps Nicky on the show to hold onto that part, one of his happiest Thanksgivings, go for it.  He lost so many years, kids are having kids now and he can start new memories and I really like his addition to the family.

That song and story was sweet and it made me remember Nicky was the better student, wanted to be a doctor and made me feel sad that so much was broken. Jack was concerned about Nicky hurting his bandaids and you can understand that but Nicky was never a criminal, a pedophile.

The writers promised they would show Miguel and Rebecca in happy times and I'm still waiting. Let us see her laugh, have fun, go out, laugh again, show us the happy times before she gets sick.

I wish they would show us their romance, how they fell in love...

[Blackie]

10 hours ago, debraran said:

One women told me when her boyfriend sees another person wearing crossfit stuff in a store, they stop and talk, sometimes for a while. It can be very addicting

Have you seen the show "What We Do in the Shadows"?  The vampires were looking for virgins and one place they thought would be good was a crossfit gym, because all they do there is talk about crossfit!!😆

10 hours ago, Madding crowd said:

Very good episode but I kept wondering why Miguel wasn’t concerned with Rebecca being gone so long, he has to be noticing things.

Seriously this didn't make sense.  I know he knew that Rebecca was pissed but still.  I see where they were going with that storyline, I just don't like how it was written.  Why on earth would she want to go to a movie when all that company was coming, especially that cute baby. I guess they wanted her gone for awhile but it didn't work for Thanksgiving day I thought. Are the bakeries even open? I am seeing in my inlaws how a parent's dementia like symptoms and getting a diagnosis and treatment is causing power plays and rifts and not talking in the siblings, so that part seems accurate.

9 hours ago, mtlchick said:

The new De Niro movie.” His current one The Irishman clocks in at 3.5 hours.

This isn't even showing at the regular movie chains, at least not here in Canada. So unless they have a specialty theatre in walking distance.  For me, I would have to go to downtown Toronto, and first book tickets online, which we tried to do and the system wasn't working. 

That and the stupid avocado storyline are just off the mark.  New parents usually have issues, there would be lots of more things that would make sense. 

On a side note, on the weekend my husband wanted to cook a pot roast in the slow cooker, but h is afraid of my instant pot so pulled out our 25 year old slow cooker.  Within 5 min we could smell plastic burning.  The heating coil and melted right through the bottom.  Good thing we hadn't of set it right up and then left the house for the day!

[Ohiopirate02]

It's hard for me to care about any marital problem between Kate and Toby when Kate is such an underwritten character and I feel like the writers are doing a 180 on Toby's character.  Why is Kate alone with Jack all the time--Is it because Toby is obsessed with Crossfit and prioritizes that over his marriage?  Is it because Kate does not want to leave Jack?  Is Toby giving Kate the opportunity to leave the house for a few hours on an Saturday to spend time on her herself?  Is Kate still friends with Madison?  What kind of support system does Kate actually have?

The writers aren't doing the work for this storyline to make any sense.  It's almost like they decided "well Rebecca and Jack had marital problems in season 2, Randall and Beth in season 3, so for Season 4 it's Kate and Toby's turn."  

On another note, Griffin Dunne is killing it.  

[bichonblitz]

So grown up baby Jack is blind but can walk to the table with a platter full of shrimp, and place it on the table with ease? That did not look realistic to me at all.  

Kate can't keep her mouth shut about the avocado but can keep her mouth shut when she finds the text? 

If my husband walked out of the house and was going to be gone for approx 3 hrs (round trip) while my house is filling up with guests and family and I'm in the middle of preparing a huge holiday dinner I would be supremely pissed off! Rebecca was gone and Kate had not arrived yet so Beth had no help. That sucked. 

And.....what mom/grandma leaves the house on Thanksgiving Day while their family is gathering to go see a movie, by themselves? 

Edited November 20, 2019 by bichonblitz