S01.E06: So He Looked Like Dad. It Was Just Dinner, Right?

[OtterMommy]

Quote

"He was very handsome. He wore gray turtleneck sweaters and smelled like mint aftershave and old books. He was 55 and recently divorced for the second time. He was my father. He wasn't really my father."

[BobH]

Well, that drained the good will cup that the last episode filled pretty quickly.

At the beginning I was thinking hey look, lesbian couple. That's a welcome change from the straight show we've gotten so far, especially for a show called MODERN LOVE. But no, it's another straight story, another white straight story (though we have had more colour so far than a show like this 20 years ago would have), and just a really creepy story. Did not like, almost turned it off a few times, and if there were more than two episodes to go (and one actor I really want to see) coming up I might have given up on the show. 

Prediction, this is going to be the consensus low point of the season.

Edited October 19, 2019 by BobH

[Jade Foxx]

HORRIBLE. 

[EdnasEdibles]

This was my least favorite one. I need to go back and read the original column to see if I'd find her annoying in her own words but I kept watching this and thinking "What is WRONG with you?" I mean, see a therapist or something. The man is clearly interested in you in more than a weird adoption so why are you leading him on? And then the man . . . this girl clearly has issues so just leave her alone.

And that coat was ugly. Just ugly. 

[buttersister]

Bad daddy issues meet middle-aged crisis.

Edited October 22, 2019 by buttersister

[meligator]

Shut off, could not finish.  Tried to turn in back on and then noped back out again.  

[twoods]

Ew i just couldn’t finish this one because it creeped me out.

[Jillybean]

This was so disappointing, icky, and weird. And yes, I too thought for a hot second that the two young ladies were in a relationship. Given the montage of photos at the beginning,  I expected the series to include same-sex relationships in more than one installment. 

[loki310]

On 10/19/2019 at 2:19 PM, BobH said:

At the beginning I was thinking hey look, lesbian couple. That's a welcome change from the straight show we've gotten so far, especially for a show called MODERN LOVE. But no, it's another straight story, another white straight story.

Yeah, I could have done with a bit more diversity, for it being NYC and all. Tell a story above 125th St or in queens. Tell a love story about the many people who work in minimum wage jobs. Also strange that all of the people of color were in interracial relationships (and I say this as a woman of color in one).

Edited October 22, 2019 by loki310

[EdnasEdibles]

This was one of the ones where I went back and read the original column after I viewed it and in the original column, she is intrigued, goes to his house for dinner and insists on leaving when he wants to cuddle and listen to music and that's the end of that. So it's a lot less icky. She doesn't go on weird infantalizing zoo dates with him or call him after a car wreck. He never buys her a stuffed animal or a coat. If I were the author I'd be extremely annoyed by what they did to my column. 

[TheOtherOne]

For those interested, the original column:

https://www.nytimes.com/2006/01/22/style/modern-love-so-he-looked-like-dad-it-was-just-dinner-right.html

[BusyOctober]

WTF??  Thanks to this icky weird episode, I don’t know if I can watch “Ozark” or reruns of “Boardwalk Empire” ever again.  Two very good actors and two very great shows potentially ruined.  And that coat was hideous. I guess she was supposed to look like Little Red Riding Hood to his Big Bad Wolf?  Her character was sooooo stupid!  

[Crs97]

The only line that hit me even a little was when he asked what she expected based on her experience and she said she didn’t have any experience and never had a man just help her because.  Even that, though, I questioned.  Where was her mom?  No male influences ever in her life?  How long has she been friends with her roommate (who I thought were together at first)?  She saw her relationship with her dad, right?  She had to at least know of some healthy father-daughter relationships.  That Red Riding Hood cape was not attractive at any price.  Not a good sign that I was most bothered by her not returning his coat when she walked away.

[topanga]

Unpopular opinion: I enjoyed this episode. But maybe that’s because I like Julia Garner in anything she’s in. 

[tennisgurl]

My least favorite episode, such a weird creepy story, and not even told in an interesting way. I also would like to see some more diversity in this series, I thought for a second that the two women in the beginning were in a relationship, and not just roommates/besties. 

[Kte]

I just watched the episode. I googled the episode and the only reviews I seem to see here people talking about how unrelateable and strange it was. How she needs a therapist, how the episode was creepy. I believe everyone here is missing the theme: the concept of someone longing for someone of them opposite gender to care for them “just because”. All the weirdness is just decoration on that core theme. 

It was funny because this episode is SO relatable to someone who doesn’t have a dad. People with a mom and dad don’t realize what it’s like to not have a parent. Well, I have a dad, but I haven’t seen him since I was 15, and he spent my entire childhood living in a different city than us. I barely knew my dad. What I did know of my dad however was terrible things - he was hostile and unkind. I never had a father figure in my life and he was absent until he was officially absent.

What this episode taught me really shifted my perspective. This girl never thought about not having a dad until she went out with her friend and her dad and saw how supportive and proud of her he was. She started seeing a man in her office, who she’d try to imagine was her dad when they hung out.

Weird... and strange and bizarre, obviously. To someone without a dad? Not that hard to imagine. At one point the girl says “I’ve never had a man care for me just cause” and I realized how much I relate. I’ve never experienced a man care for me just because he cares for my wellbeing without wanting to date, have sex, etc. I’ve never had many guy friends and every guy I’ve ever dated and friend I’ve had, I haven’t gotten along great with their dads. It isn’t that I didn’t like them, it’s that I had nothing to say. I am smooth when I interact with women, but men I don’t vibe with often, and any sign of aggression or anger makes me retreat.

This girl simply wants a man to care for her without asking for anything in return, that’s the entire point of this episode. Everyone created it into a taboo “daddy issues” unrelateable concept. It must be nice to think the concept of having someone care for you like family is so hard to relate to, creepy and strange because it’s something you never went without... I love how this episode explored dad issues which a lot of people don’t understand

[Hanya]

KTE, the thing that bugged me the most, was that she was so self-absorbed she wasn't trying to be a friend back to this guy. She didn't seem to like him having emotions, she didn't ask him about his life, or what was bothering him, if he was divorced or if his wife died. She totally cast him in a role and didn't see him as a multi-dimensional person.

[luvthepros]

How do you "read" her saying to him at the very end, "Wait!!!!".

Edited January 28, 2021 by luvthepros

[Avabelle]

Creepiest episode ever.

[chaifan]

@Kte I think I could see your take on this episode more if it had stuck to the original story, as it was summarized above.  But the way they took it in this episode took it so far beyond an innocent longing for someone to take care of you, in a father-type way.  There is no way a 21 year old woman would not be able to see that the older man had sexual intentions and that her behavior towards him was easily interpreted as sexual interest. 

On 10/22/2019 at 9:54 AM, EdnasEdibles said:

I were the author I'd be extremely annoyed by what they did to my column. 

This.  1000x times this.  Unfortunately, it now has me wondering how much they've hacked up the other stories.  I can't read them because they're behind NYT's paywall.