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S04.E02: Chapter Fifty-Nine: Fast Times at Riverdale High

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Archie encourages Mad Dog to attend Riverdale High and join the football team. Jughead meets Mr. Chipping, who offers him a spot at an elite school called Stonewall Prep. Veronica is conflicted when information about her involvement in Hiram’s arrest leaks to the public. Kevin applies for a spot on the Blue & Gold to make amends with Betty. Cheryl goes head to head with Mr. Honey, the school’s new principal.

Airdate: Wednesday, October 16, 2019

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So I see that the once outspoken Toni Topaz is still just that obnoxious creep Cheryl blossom's mute black arm candy.. Relegated to walking behind standing below carrying things for and kissing Cheryl... Riverdale... Do better For the love of god.. Y'all already ruined the pussycats.. Never used Josie.. Railroaded chuck... Cut Toni's vocal chords... My last hope may be mad dog

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So Jughead the homeless kid from season 1 is the only one of the core four to have an involved parent. 

Cool Betty your mom is in the FBI that totally gives her a pass for all the shit she put you through. Writes realized way to late the hole they dug themselves with Alice. 

So the farm moved like 5 miles away and Fed Charlie couldn't find them. I hate the time wasted on the stupid farm.

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Cheryl is kind of the show’s appeal in microcosm, as her two story threads so far this season are getting into a petty turf war with the new school principal and hiding her brother’s corpse in a her cavernous Gothic mansion so that she can talk to it.

1 hour ago, notcreative enough said:

So Jughead the homeless kid from season 1 is the only one of the core four to have an involved parent. 

I think Mary is now living in Riverdale again, but since Molly Ringwald is only a special guest star, obviously she's unlikely to be anywhere near as involved in the main plot as F.P.

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Where is Veronica living at these days?

Strange that the principal let all those reporters wander the school property.

How did Cheryl get her brother's dead body?

Looks like nobody will be wearing clothes this season.

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They really need to give Toni her own storyline & character arc. Following Cheryl around is beyond repetitive.

Jug was exactly how I always want his character to be, and I don’t know what to do with this??? I like him????? Just...no more serpent leader bullshit, pls show. No more. As for the flash forward, Jug disappears like his grandfather did? But then I wonder if he goes missing before or after the scene where they’re all gathered by the fire. Hmm. I hate that I’m interested in this, lol. 

Archie and Monroe!!!!, my hearts. It was nice to see Archie just happy to be around Monroe and a bit lighthearted after last week’s epi. Archie, pls never find out where Harvard is located, I beg of you.

So, did...Reggie kill his father? Or do something to him? That was all wrapped up way too quick & him saying his father won’t be coming around anymore? Also, I teared up a bit when Reggie said he was jealous of Archie’s relationship with Fred. 😞

Edited by HeatLifer
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Ah, now it's back to the delightful ball of crazy that I always enjoy!  Cheryl is still having chats with her brother's corpse, when she isn't busy getting into tiffs with the new principal.  The Cult is back in the fold, as they seem to be gearing up for Edgar's grand plan (which I still choose to believe will be Chad Michael Murray reviving One Tree Hill!)  An FBI agent who just leaves his secret transcripts lying around for his younger half-sister to see.  Veronica doing a random burlesque performance, because they decided that there still wasn't quite enough skin for this episode, and Camila Mendes was whose name came out of the hat, apparently.  On, and simultaneous sex scenes with Betty/Jughead and Archie/Veronica, that was only surprising because for a brief second I thought we were actually going to get a legit Riverdale foursome/orgy going on here.

I knew that Sam Witwer was going to appearing this season, but I must have missed Kerr Smith's casting news.  Just a little big giddy over getting to see a main former Dawson's Creek performer on this show finally.  Although, it is really hard to buy Principal Honey's big "I'm not going to let y'all walk over me!" act, when just a few seconds after his first speech, the paparazzi just storm inside the school with ease.  

I absolutely love that Hiram's defense is basically "It wasn't me, people!  My high school daughter was totally the mastermind of everything!"  Even if there is some truth to it, it just makes him look like the most incompetent mob boss ever.  He's totally the butt of all of the other mobsters jokes now.

I was wondering if they were going to revisit Reggie and his abusive father.  Seemed to be wrapped up a little too quickly, but I did like how it brought up Fred again, and how Reggie envied the relationship Archie had with his dad.  Sniff!

I swear, I keep forgetting that Betty and Kevin are suppose to actually be best friends.

Realistically, Riverdale High probably should have the football trophy locked-up already, because Mad Dog could probably decimate a single team single-handily.

In theory, Stonebridge or whatever the hell it is probably does fit Jughead's mindset better, but it pretty much waved every flag possible to show that it is going to end badly, from the flash-forward, arrogant elitist students, and Sam Witwer doing what he does best: putting up a charismatic face, but leaving a hint that some sinister shit is likely going down!

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Cheryl is kind of the show’s appeal in microcosm, as her two story threads so far this season are getting into a petty turf war with the new school principal and hiding her brother’s corpse in a her cavernous Gothic mansion so that she can talk to it.

Seriously; Cheryl's ability to make her absolute lunacy work for her in all ways is one of the show's strongest points. Now, if only they'd realize that Toni isn't a cardboard cutout...

So this new principal is the kind of petty dictator who...lets paparazzi swarm his school and kids sneak into the girls locker room to take pictures??? (I was amazed that twit escaped with all his limbs intact.)

Plus, Honey seems to be a Hiram Lodge Jr. in that he cheerfully gets involved with pissing contests where his opponent is a teenager. Cheryl and Dead JJ can obviously handle him, but it wasn't a good look in seasons two and three and it's not a good look now, writers. 

Sheriff Jones once again proves he is the worst law enforcement officer ever by ignoring the beyond copious underage drinking at the party in favor of a noise complaint that was so bogus it should have been found next to the rip off Barbies at Dollar Tree. Now, granted, I get he probably thought it was bullshit and didn't actually want to start a turf war with all these kids' parents, but honestly. 

Kevin and Betty not just dying rather than deliver the whole "sorry I dragged you by your ankles for a lobotomy" scene with straight faces should earn them both Emmys.  Also, Kevin, YOU ARE MISSING A KIDNEY. YOUR PARENTS NEED TO TAKE YOU TO A DOCTOR.

Let's see, what else? Jug, you can't tell me you didn't get an off vibe about your new teacher, there--that guy might as well have been wearing an "I Heart Cthulu" tee shirt.  Nice riffs on the contrast between public school boredom vs. private school privilege and the fact that neither set of kids seem to care about the material, though. I didn't get Jug's line when he said that the salon participants seemed to have actually read Moby Dick--none of them said a word.

(Also nice touch on their fancy hardbacks against Jug's battered paperback.)

I was honestly afraid Reggie was going to kill his dad rather than just do a gritty reboot of Ferris Bueller's Day Off, there.  When his dad was yelling at him I kept thinking "this kid could really hurt you, dude. Like, you would pee in a bag the rest of your life hurt you. Because you have taught him all the wrong lessons about violence and he is huge." 

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5 hours ago, Snookums said:

Sheriff Jones once again proves he is the worst law enforcement officer ever

I’m also still cackling at him pushing Jug to go to this prep school and then after enrollment is like, “oh btw your grandpa went there and like we never actually saw him again and we should have filed a police report but have a great time :) “

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LMFAO. Veronica holds a press conference in her secret, illegal bar and starts by making everybody watch her sing show tunes. I've missed this.

Also, I love how the search party looking for Jughead was making as much noise as possible and not giving him any opportunity to respond when they yelled his name. There's something beautiful about watching the whole town just tromp through the woods while their enthusiasm to get involved stops them from accomplishing their goal.

17 hours ago, HeatLifer said:

So, did...Reggie kill his father? Or do something to him? That was all wrapped up way too quick & him saying his father won’t be coming around anymore? Also, I teared up a bit when Reggie said he was jealous of Archie’s relationship with Fred. 😞

Yeah... I feel like this show might not understand how abuse works. Unless Reggie's dad suddenly escalates in a future episode... but the vibe I got is that we're supposed to think that hitting his car with a bat solved the problem.

16 hours ago, thuganomics85 said:

In theory, Stonebridge or whatever the hell it is probably does fit Jughead's mindset better, but it pretty much waved every flag possible to show that it is going to end badly, from the flash-forward, arrogant elitist students, and Sam Witwer doing what he does best: putting up a charismatic face, but leaving a hint that some sinister shit is likely going down!

I don't get why so many TV shows seem to believe that writing one story/essay/poem/song will suddenly open all the important doors. I think this is an interesting path for Jughead, but there was part of me that found it annoying that he barely even did anything and suddenly he has headhunters beating down his door to give him opportunities. I'm glad his school is probably evil.

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I'm guessing Jug called attention to Evil Prep School by his story being a finalist and somebody going oh, hey, his grandpa used to be ...one of us.... 

Because naturally, Riverdale being this small Americana ideal where everybody knows everybody and the entire town throws a parade for Fred, they just forgot the Jones family existed until now.

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2 hours ago, SourK said:

I don't get why so many TV shows seem to believe that writing one story/essay/poem/song will suddenly open all the important doors. I think this is an interesting path for Jughead, but there was part of me that found it annoying that he barely even did anything and suddenly he has headhunters beating down his door to give him opportunities. I'm glad his school is probably evil.

It is possible that the evil Professor might have done his research after reading Jughead's story. Jughead did write a number of articles for the newspaper. It is not like they offered Jughead a full scholarship, just an invite to apply to an expensive private school.

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Well after so much heartfelt sincerity last week, we are now back to our regularly scheduled crazy! Reporters following teens around a high school, a prep school that is clearly hiding a dark secret, Cheryl getting fashion advice from her brothers corpse while also getting into a petty grudge match with the new principle, a teenage burlesque show, now we are back in classic Riverdale! 

Cheryl is still the Queen Bee of being Extra, going between living the last few seasons of Bates Motel, a campy 90s teen comedy, and a Gothic horror novel. Now could Toni get a plot beyond being her girlfriend and constant person standing behind her? By the end of this year, this principle will be beheaded! And since its Riverdale, we dont know if thats literally or figuratively!

So this asshole principle will freak out on some kids being a little late to class, but let reporters follow teens around taking pictures, including in the locker room?! I did love how he mentioned that they cant have a welcome dance because "several student were murdered last year." Look dude, if we just didnt do things in Riverdale because people got murdered during them at some point, we wouldn't get to do anything!

It was nice to see Archie just happily hanging out with Mad Dog, he seems to be doing better after a summer at Pops, and I liked his plot with Reggie and the follow up with his abusive father. I mean, they could just call Jugheads dad because child abuse is, you know, all kinds of illegal...just an idea. But I guess a beat up car is an way to deal with abuse as well? Maybe it was more of a "hey dad, this could be your face if you dont stop being a dick" kind of warning? He seems like the kind of asshole who only responds to violence. I am just glad we actually kind of dealt with this finally, and I always love Reggie and Archie scenes. 

It is nice that Kevin apologized and seems to be moving past cult life, but I dont know if I trust it. You know, just because you say that Alice is totes a secret agent taking the Farm down, that doesent make up for all of the crap she pulled. I mean, at least Kevin is still a teenager, Alice is a grown ass woman who has been giving Betty shit for years! Just of different varieties.

So whats the dark secret behind this prep school? Are they summoning elder gods in the library? Hunting poor people after reading The Most Dangerous Game? Brainwashing people  into becoming drones? Come on, whats their dark secret? 

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4 hours ago, HeatLifer said:

I’m also still cackling at him pushing Jug to go to this prep school and then after enrollment is like, “oh btw your grandpa went there and like we never actually saw him again and we should have filed a police report but have a great time 🙂

I think we saw FP's dad in the flashback episode, right? I think they were implying he dropped out of prep school like he (later) checked out of FP's life, not that he went missing from the prep school...but as always this show is packing in the plot developments so I may have missed something.

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56 minutes ago, ZootSuitWyatt said:

I think we saw FP's dad in the flashback episode, right? I think they were implying he dropped out of prep school like he (later) checked out of FP's life, not that he went missing from the prep school...but as always this show is packing in the plot developments so I may have missed something.

Yes, I was exaggerating for giggles, lol, but you are right. All we know is that FP’s dad went to the school for a few months and then dropped out. But I wouldn’t be surprised if the reason he dropped out is something Jughead will uncover later. Or even possibly the reason why he just “went out for cigarettes and never came back” could be tied to whatever happened at the school, as well. Basically, I’m sure there’s a connection and a reason to include the “legacy” aspect.

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16 minutes ago, HeatLifer said:

Yes, I was exaggerating for giggles, lol, but you are right. All we know is that FP’s dad went to the school for a few months and then dropped out. But I wouldn’t be surprised if the reason he dropped out is something Jughead will uncover later. Or even possibly the reason why he just “went out for cigarettes and never came back” could be tied to whatever happened at the school, as well. Basically, I’m sure there’s a connection and a reason to include the “legacy” aspect.

I’m sure you’re right. Wouldn’t be Riverdale without a very involved conspiracy (or a weird musical number).

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8 hours ago, tennisgurl said:

So this asshole principle will freak out on some kids being a little late to class, but let reporters follow teens around taking pictures, including in the locker room?! I did love how he mentioned that they cant have a welcome dance because "several student were murdered last year."

I think it would be really funny if the asshole principal turned out to be the voice of reason, and they all just kept shaking their fists in his face anyway.

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On 10/16/2019 at 10:27 PM, notcreative enough said:

So Jughead the homeless kid from season 1 is the only one of the core four to have an involved parent.

I noticed that, it's quite the turnaround.  Meanwhle, the other kids are basically living on their own without any pesky parental supervision.  It's comical enough to see these young adults attending high school, it further breaks the illusion to see them all living on their own.  I guess the bills just pay themselves lol.

12 hours ago, SourK said:

LMFAO. Veronica holds a press conference in her secret, illegal bar and starts by making everybody watch her sing show tunes. I've missed this.

I loved that, it was so bizarre.  Hey, who doesn't start their press conference with a little sexy musical theater?

As for Jughead's grandpa, I definitely thoguht the implication was that his disappearance was connected with the school.  They didn't come out and say it, but FP's speech combined with the flash forward to everyone searching for Jughead seemed like heavy foreshadowing to me.

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The best part of Veronica's presser preshow was her having four backup dancers (including Cheryl and Toni) who apparently, what? Agree to learn complicated  choreography for fun and a free beer?

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So whats the dark secret behind this prep school? Are they summoning elder gods in the library? Hunting poor people after reading The Most Dangerous Game? Brainwashing people  into becoming drones? Come on, whats their dark secret? 

That teacher couldn't have been more obviously evil if he'd been wearing an I HEART CTHULU tee shirt and Wolfram&Hart beanie.

"So, Jug, ready tor our literary salon?"

"Sure am!"

"Did you bring your fresh, strong beating heart?"

"What?"

"...er, sorry, got Edgar's notes there. I mean, your sanity and reason, to toss into the void of Elder Gods and their mad geometry, the very glimpse of which will drive you mad?"

"What?"

"Uh, I mean, a copy of Moby Dick?"

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After not even being able to hate watch Season 3, I tuned in last week for the Luke Perry tribute and enjoyed it so thought I would stick around for episode 2, with a lot of trepidation. Colour me surprised, it kept me engaged and I cared about the plots that were being presented. Even the this season's mystery of Jughead's appearance is intriguing to me. I confess I skipped the sex scenes and song performance though, I have no time for that crap. Could it be that what I loved about Season 1 is returning for Season 4? Probably not.

I did feel old when I worked out Jack McPhee is the new principal.

And I will always let out a little cheer whenever Jason Blossom appears and doesn't speak. I don't care how ridiculous it is that Cheryl has his corpse, just as long as he never speaks I will be happy.

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13 hours ago, Bill1978 said:

I confess I skipped the sex scenes and song performance though,

Both of those scenes were so cringe, the former obviously stan service. 

And I hate to be this person, but Camila just....doesn’t have a good enough voice to keep giving her solos. 

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So, I just got around to watching this episode. To be quite honest, I wasn't sure if I wanted to watch this season, just with the disappointment of the last two seasons. I still haven't been able to finish season 3 and I didn't even finish season 2.

But honestly, I thought that this was an ok episode. Without the weird supernatural stuff, it did feel like they were trying to recapture the magic of season 1. They seem to be going back to a little more normality. Of course, not entirely, but it's still more interesting than anything that went on for the last two seasons. It felt like I was watching characters that would actually exist in real life. Again, not entirely; but even season 1 Riverdale had some pretty unrealistic plots, but at least the characters felt like people. 

Ok, Cheryl is still obnoxious to me; I've never actually been a fan of Cheryl. Toni is nothing more than Cheryl's object. And Cheryl's feud with Mr. Honey (hi Kerr Smith!) is probably going to cause me to roll my eyes a little more often than not. I'm one of the few who really would rather Cheryl took back a supporting role. But, you know, it'll be funny to see how Honey and Cheryl top each other. And, of course, an adult must fight a teenager for unknown reasons. Spoiler: the adult looks worse than the teenager, whether or not they lose. Just ask Hiram Lodge and him trying to kill Archie for two seasons. But I guess we'll see.

Archie gets to hang out with Mad Dog and he helps Reggie out on his Ferris Bueller's Day Off car smashing scene. And...yeah, count me as another who thinks that Reggie must have killed his dad. No way was his dad cool with just "talking" to Reggie and accepting his son standing up for himself. I know they went over the top with Reggie's dad yelling at him at practice (an abuser wouldn't likely make a scene in front of people, I would think) but I also doubt that Reggie's dad would suddenly agree to not show up at any practices and not hit his son anymore. But hey, maybe smashing his car WAS the threat? I dunno, I'm not buying it yet.

Jughead is moving schools. Hi Sam Witwer! I mean, this may work better than the last time Jughead transferred schools, or it might not be. Either way, I'm a little interested.

Betty, don't you go trusting Kevin...ah, goddamnit, there you go. Hopefully Kevin can be trusted, not that I think Alice will be dying anyway. But they COULD kill off Polly so....that would suck for Betty. However, I'd like to think that this is their attempt at redeeming Kevin without just having him change his personality on a dime. He's still a douchebag with ties to the Farm, but he's willing to change.

Maybe I have too much hope for season 4 but with the elimination of the weird supernatural shit, I might find myself liking this show better than I have in two seasons.  

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21 hours ago, Lady Calypso said:

Cheryl is still obnoxious to me; I've never actually been a fan of Cheryl. Toni is nothing more than Cheryl's object.

And if it wasn't Toni it mighta been Josie... I mean they just let that whole plot line die.. She super stalks Josie... Frames poor chuck ( yeah poor chuck who was mistreated on this show)  and then they just had Josie shrug it off and Cheryl went on to just possess Toni... Who had a voice and thoughts before super self-important Jughead became king serpent and Cheryl lobotomized her... Ugh this whole thing is creepy and problematic 

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On 10/20/2019 at 2:16 AM, Bill1978 said:

I did feel old when I worked out Jack McPhee is the new principal.

Feel less old when you remember that Kerr Smith is about 11 years older than Jack McPhee.

Kerr went grey for the Fosters but it looks like he went back to the hair dye. Kind of a shame-  I liked the grey on him.

On 10/18/2019 at 3:47 PM, Snookums said:

That teacher couldn't have been more obviously evil if he'd been wearing an I HEART CTHULU tee shirt and Wolfram&Hart beanie.

Sam Witwer. I remember him from an episode of Cold Case he did with a pre-Veronica Mars Logan Echolls and man that guy just has a villainous face.

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