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S34.E07: Zero Dark Turbo

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Team UK hopes to turn the tide against a dominant Team USA during the “Resilient River Run” challenge. Jordan says the wrong thing to Turbo, sparking a rivalry and a heated confrontation. One player is stunned to find themselves in elimination.

Airs October 9, 2019.

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This week: everyone is a child, and Jordan's need to wave his dick in our faces ruins an episode where Bear is sent back to England, where he can resume starting riots in Third Division football matches.

Yeah, Turbo was being a little bitch, but Jordan looked like he didn't see one second of WOTW1. Turbo might be the absolute worst person to scrap with. Even if you would be in the right, he's so legendary that he'd make you look like a dick. And with Johnny and Wes gone, Jordan's pushing way too hard to make himself the "face" of the series. I mean, better him than Paulie, but it's still rough to watch.

Worst thing about the team format is that both sides are dysfunctional. Once again, Zach has to belittle people to make himself look more manly. And once again, I get how Natalie can bug, but Zach went over the line yet again. And I'm still waiting for CT to haul off on somebody. I'm guessing nobody votes him into the Proving Ground because he might win and defect to the US. That stinks because he's getting madder and madder with the dummies he's been teamed with.

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The line "pussy chicken bitch" is never not going to be funny to me.  Man Jordan is dumb, you don't screw with Turbo.  Because unlike everyone else on the show I honestly believe that he just does not care about the money.  Sure he would love to win, but he is one of those guys that if he thinks you have insulted his manhood in any way.  Well then you are screwed.

Zach reminds me once again what a piece of garbage he is.  I wanted to like the guy when he gave his hair up for Locks of Love but nah, I just cannot bring myself to do it.

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I forgot to add...

I normally do not comment on women's hair but, Cara stop putting those ratty ass extensions in your hair.  You look really cute with the short haircut.

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2 hours ago, Blueberry Snobal said:

I can’t stand Ninja. I don’t know why.

Because she's annoying as fuck.

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Jordan vs Turbo has me going Team No One. They both sucked during this. Jordan is a jackass but Turbo has some anger issues and I don't know, don't kick the damn relic?

All of Team UK should just go home and let Team US play the game alone. For all their talk of "stop putting our strongest players in" but it's not as if their strongest players have done jack to actually help them win. The one time they won is because Johnny through the challenge and the other time they almost won because their themselves cheated. So calm down about all their strong players.

Rogan is one slippery son of a bitch. How on earth has he not gone in an elimination yet? How does he keep getting out of it? It's almost comical now.

Bye Bear. I still can't stand you.

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Bear takes it as a personal insult to be voted in.

Well he says he can do it for 10 more seasons so he better make friends with as many competitors, to be in alliances with them.

Viewers are going to have to get used to his voice because MTV wants to troll viewers not just with Bananas but now Bear as well as fixtures on the show.

Jordan has a point about people being lazy and sloppy.  He’s going to alienate people though, because he probably thinks he can beat anyone in an elimination.

Tori knows his personality, admits it’s exhausting.  What is wrong with her?

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8 hours ago, TiffanyNichelle said:

Jordan vs Turbo has me going Team No One. They both sucked during this. Jordan is a jackass but Turbo has some anger issues and I don't know, don't kick the damn relic?

I was waiting for Ninja vs. Lauren 2.0 where Teej would declare the UK team the winners because the US team didn't have their totem on the podium.

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2 hours ago, Wouldofshouldof said:

I was waiting for Ninja vs. Lauren 2.0 where Teej would declare the UK team the winners because the US team didn't have their totem on the podium.

I thought the same thing and I wondered if that's why Jordan wanted him to stop kicking it (besides it being stupid and childish). I think Jordan also said something that sounded like the camera guys were still shooting shots of the relic on the podium and that was messing up the shot.

Seeing how easily Turbo looses his shit and goes overboard in his reactions in situations that don't really call for it is why I haven't been team Turbo since last season. Also fuck off with all that "be a man not a pussy" bs. He's just as toxic as the rest of them.

Edited by TiffanyNichelle
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2 hours ago, TiffanyNichelle said:

Seeing how easily Turbo looses his shit and goes overboard in his reactions in situations that don't really call for it is why I haven't been team Turbo since last season. Also fuck off with all that "be a man not a pussy" bs. He's just as toxic as the rest of them.

Agreed.  I never understood the turbo love.  At all.  Also, why was he not sent home for pushing Jordan?  How many times have we seen people sent home for that.  I get that TPTB like having him on the show but that was too flagrant for them to ignore.  

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4 hours ago, TiffanyNichelle said:

I thought the same thing and I wondered if that's why Jordan wanted him to stop kicking it (besides it being stupid and childish). I think Jordan also said something that sounded like the camera guys were still shooting shots of the relic on the podium and that was messing up the shot.

Seeing how easily Turbo looses his shit and goes overboard in his reactions in situations that don't really call for it is why I haven't been team Turbo since last season. Also fuck off with all that "be a man not a pussy" bs. He's just as toxic as the rest of them.

I have liked Turbo but I am very aware that it is likely because he doesn’t say much due to the language barrier. I do sense that if he could make himself more clear, he would probably be Paulie/Bananas level arrogant. With a dash of misogyny on top. 

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Yuck.  Both Paul and Ashley said something I agreed with.  I need a shower.

Joss did that tiring elim, then hopped up all those stairs with his pants around his ankles.  I just cannot imagine why the US thinks he is a strong competitor and eager to get rid of him.  Also, it startles me every time he pops up on screen just how hot I find him.

Bear says Rogan.  Rogan is bummed and then says Bear.  Bear takes this in the same vein as Rogan murdering his entire family in front of him. Shut up, Bear.  Does Bear have a name, or does his birth certificate say Bear?

Fuck off Jordan.  He always wants to be both the smartest person in the room and the class narc.  If Turbo was bothering the cameramen, they would have told him to stop.

Edited by mojoween
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I can’t stand Jordan. He’s a classic douche who’s trying his hardest to be the face of the Challenge in Johnny’s absence. I think the purple shirt that he wears in the talking heads annoys me the most.

I would say that there are two people who shouldn’t be messed with: Turbo and CT although CT has calmed down since his earlier seasons. Turbo should calm down as well, but Jordan was wrong in yelling at him too. 

Team UK sucks, plain and simple.  It would be surprising if they ended up winning the whole thing, but it could happen if Team USA doesn’t learn to just work together.

Edited by Steph619
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9 hours ago, mojoween said:

Yuck.  Both Paul and Ashley said something I agreed with.  I need a shower.

I know the feeling, I felt the exact same way when I found myself agreeing with King Baby Josh.  I felt icky.  

Then I remember seeing him win Big Brother and Paul saying, "Not again...", and well I felt a bit less icky.

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I didn't understand why they were so annoyed by Turbo kicking the relics. I was like, guys they're not actually relics, they're Styrofoam lol. But then Jordan said the thing about 'needing more shots' or something and I figured maybe they all just wanted to get the fuck outta there and Turbo was keeping them there because Production needed more shots of the relics for some reason.

21 hours ago, TiffanyNichelle said:

Also fuck off with all that "be a man not a pussy" bs. He's just as toxic as the rest of them.

17 hours ago, angelamh66 said:

I do sense that if he could make himself more clear, he would probably be Paulie/Bananas level arrogant. With a dash of misogyny on top. 

I knew the day would come when we'd see that Turbo is just as much of a piece of shit as the rest of the scum they get for this show. He was almost there last season when he lost it over Natalie's dumb ass and now he's fully there. He's definitely as arrogant as Paulie/Johnny/Jordan and I think he only doesn't seem as misogynistic as them simply because we don't hear as much from him/the language barrier.

All that being said though, I still prefer watching him to the rest of those assholes.

ETA: Oh, but also seriously how did Turbo not get kicked out? He pushed Jordan and then also put his hands on Jordan's throat. 

Zach splashing Natalie had me rolling. Is he 5? It was just so childish, I got a real kick out of it.

Bear losing his mind over Rogan voting him in after he had just voted Rogan in was maddening but in a funny way. And I thought he handled the loss well. Like Turbo, I prefer him to the US assholes. But it's probably just because I haven't had like 10 years to build up hate for them like I have the US people.

I'm looking forward to the Natalie/Dee fight next week. I hate them both so it should be fun.

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This episode should have been titled "The Civilizing Effects of Women" the way Nany and Tori talked Turbo and Jordan down. Jordan was a total wanna-be alpha douche. I am disappointed that Turbo played so emotionally but I did have to laugh when Jordan was being arrogant and Turbo suddenly comes striding across the background like some sort of water buffalo and there was this moment of "Oh Shit!" that broke through Jordan's smug and confident "Daddy" demeanor. 

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2 hours ago, TresGatos said:

I am disappointed that Turbo played so emotionally but I did have to laugh when Jordan was being arrogant and Turbo suddenly comes striding across the background like some sort of water buffalo and there was this moment of "Oh Shit!" that broke through Jordan's smug and confident "Daddy" demeanor. 

I laughed at that, too. Also, this reminds me, I found Jordan's "Daddy" stuff really bizarre.

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On 10/10/2019 at 2:28 PM, mojoween said:

Does Bear have a name, or does his birth certificate say Bear?

To paraphrase Arsenio Hall in Coming to America: his mama named him Stephen.  His last name is Bear.

Edited by Decider
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BTW, they kept cutting to pics of crocodiles before and during when they were wading in the river with those pyramids

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“We think it’s been living in the moat for a couple of weeks, eating fish and birds,” said police officer Jakabop na Chiang Mai. “It’s just now gotten big enough for people to notice it.”

An investigation revealed that the crocodile is an adolescent C. siamensis, or Siamese crocodile, native to the freshwater areas of Southeast Asia. This species is close to extinction due to habitat destruction and hunters capturing them in the wild.

“This one was probably hatched somewhere, and dumped when it became too big to be a pet,” said Wipon Nichairat, assistant director of Chiang Mai Zoo. “It is very lucky for us to catch one alive, especially in the city.”

 But in fact, crocodiles are rare in Thailand.

https://www.chiangmaicitylife.com/citynews/local/crocodile-found-in-old-city-moat/

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On 10/11/2019 at 9:33 AM, peachmangosteen said:

ETA: Oh, but also seriously how did Turbo not get kicked out? He pushed Jordan and then also put his hands on Jordan's throat. 

And I think Tori also engaged in some laying of hands when she inserted herself between Turbo and Jordan while they were fighting. The show probably didn't want to have to throw three people off due to a fight over a piece of styrofoam.

I was wondering why they didn't give the cast helmets for this challenge. A styrofoam piece of equipment - while conceivably softer than plastic - will still hurt if it falls onto someone's noggin. As much as I really don't like these people at times, I don't want to see anyone hurt. 

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14 hours ago, sabretooth said:

I was wondering why they didn't give the cast helmets for this challenge. A styrofoam piece of equipment - while conceivably softer than plastic - will still hurt if it falls onto someone's noggin. As much as I really don't like these people at times, I don't want to see anyone hurt. 

I thought about this, too, when the relic kept falling on Jenny's head. 

14 hours ago, sabretooth said:

The show probably didn't want to have to throw three people off due to a fight over a piece of styrofoam.

LOL good point!

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As they didn't show the crocodilians in a real context to show their size, they may have been another species, such as these:  "false gharial".  And of course they weren't there in the river where they were walking.  

The site I got this from lists 3 crocodilian species in Thailand.

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On 10/12/2019 at 7:15 PM, sabretooth said:

And I think Tori also engaged in some laying of hands when she inserted herself between Turbo and Jordan while they were fighting. The show probably didn't want to have to throw three people off due to a fight over a piece of styrofoam.

My guess is they asked Jordan if he wanted Turbo sent home and he said no. That’s usually their policy, unless legally they feel they can’t have someone there anymore. 

On 10/11/2019 at 9:33 AM, peachmangosteen said:

I knew the day would come when we'd see that Turbo is just as much of a piece of shit as the rest of the scum they get for this show. He was almost there last season when he lost it over Natalie's dumb ass and now he's fully there. He's definitely as arrogant as Paulie/Johnny/Jordan and I think he only doesn't seem as misogynistic as them simply because we don't hear as much from him/the language barrier. 

Yup. I’m pretty sure that Turbo is not just another toxic male,  but is also far more mentally unstable than a lot of the people there, and that’s really saying something. He clearly cannot deal with being challenged at all. I mean, yeah, Jordan is also horrible, but if you’re going to get physical with someone over something they said that annoyed you—-and, for that matter, wasn’t anything personal about him or his family or whatever—that’s not okay.

i thought the dynamics we saw between Tori and Jordan in this episode were sort of fascinating. On one hand, I tend to agree with Tori that it’s more realistic to choose someone to “work with” rather than expecting your perfect mate will come along and require no work from you. And Jordan did apologize when Tori told him to, which as we know from the past, is not something he likes to do.  However, he’s Jordan, and therefore Tori can do better. 

Zach’s temper tantrum reminded me of battle of the exes when he used to flip out on Jonna. He clearly has a hair trigger for women who annoy him during competitive activities. One of these days one of them should just punch him in the face. He won’t fight back,  because his male pride won’t let him fight a girl. Whoever did it would be taking one for the team because Zach would totally insist on that person being sent home, but man, what a way to go. 

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I wondered if Turbo didn't hurt himself with that last kick. It looked like he made contact with the wood instead of the relic. And then used hiding that pain to lash out at Jordan even more.

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