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Literata

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Everything posted by Literata

  1. Watching some reruns tonight, I’m reminded that the only episodes in which I liked Haley were the Andy episodes. I’ll never stop wondering what happened to that arc, as it was clearly meant to be endgame for Haley. The character’s name was Andy BAILEY, after all. Haley Bailey — clearly the writers’ intent from Day One was that they’d be together. He was Phil 2.0, after all. So what happened? My guess is that Adam Devine simply became less and less available, and the writers had to scramble to bring back Dylan in a way that somewhat made sense.
  2. I honestly can't think of anyone I "hate." I certainly wouldn't say I hate someone I don't know. From what we've seen over the years, Matt is selfish and dishonest. He's an attention whore, an irresponsible business owner, and a long-disinterested father. I could go on. As I've said so many times that I'm sure people are sick of it: Substitute the name "Amy" for the name "Matt." That gives us "Amy was arrested for DUI twice." "Amy didn't attend Zach's soccer games because they bored her." "Amy cultivated an inappropriate relationship with a farm employee while married to Matt." I imagine you'd judge Amy pretty harshly. I am genuinely trying to understand the double standard.
  3. I'm certain Amy would have appreciated it if Matt had taken any interest. Sleeping in, not attending your kids' activities because they "bore" you, racking up DUIs and leaving family vacations early doesn't leave much time for a person to exert much paternal influence.
  4. The more confused I become about possible reasons for the dogged defense of Matt and Caryn, the more I think about the comparison @funky-rat made above regarding Josh Duggar. I'm not a fundamentalist Christian, so I'm only hypothesizing here -- but it seems that in patriarchal circles, it's upsetting to the entire ecosystem when anyone criticizes the "head of the household." Even if he's clearly wrong, women defend him because it's too upsetting to think that the hierarchy could be pretty messed up, and the guy who's supposed to be in charge isn't qualified to lead anybody. What I don't see anyone responding to, ever, are these points: In the early part of the series, Matt worked outside the home, but so did Amy. Yet Amy seemed to have sole responsibility for the upkeep/cleanliness of the home. When Matt wasn't working outside the home, he slept in (consistently, not just a one-time thing) while Amy had sole morning responsibility for four school-age kids. It sticks with me that he normally rose at 9:30 -- understandable if you're working late hours; lazy and selfish when you have four kids and no outside-the-home job. Matt left vacations early, with no easily explained reason. Matt was arrested for DUI, twice. Matt admitted to missing soccer games because they bored him. Matt came pretty close to missing the boys' graduation -- I can't recall why, but I don't think the reason had a lot of legitimacy. Can you imagine this conversation if Amy had conducted herself that way? Sure, Matt planned and supervised the building of the farm's attractions -- but one of them almost killed his son and an employee. Matt was pretty good at being the "fun dad" -- when he wanted to be. But most of the time, he was about Matt, while Amy was the hands-on parent. Why the canonization of Matt and the vilification of Amy -- not just here, but on social media in general? Is it sexism? The fundamentalism thing? I genuinely want to understand.
  5. This all makes so much sense, and is such wise advice. Thank you for sharing it. The issue is the cheating, not the reaction to the cheating. IMO, Matt established some pretty toxic behaviors early on, and his family members seem to have have spent years trying to cope within a Matt-centric framework that's included a fair amount of dishonesty. (Money issues, likely alcohol abuse, and obviously infidelity, for starters.) Amy is clearly done enabling that toxicity; perhaps she realizes that honesty is central to her healing process. She owes that to herself.
  6. Matt and Caryn cheated. Amy has the right to tell her story. And to be honest, I wouldn't worry about her regard for her children -- two of whom, at least, aren't demonstrating a whole lot of loyalty to the parent who raised them while the other parent was sleeping in, racking up DUIs, leaving family vacations early, and generally cultivating a life in which his family was clearly secondary to his own needs. I'm sorry, but any desire to protect Matt and Caryn's feelings is, at this point, entirely unwarranted. As I said in another post, it's a double standard that is troubling from all kinds of perspectives. They had the right to make the decision to cheat -- but life is a series of choices and consequences, and Amy has the right to make the decision to air her feelings about those choices. Don't want your laundry aired? Don't dirty it.
  7. First, if the family admires Caryn, they deserve every bit of whatever they're going to end up feeling when they realize Caryn's all about the benjamins and Matt is as selfish as he's ever been. Seriously. If those kids do hold Caryn in high regard and are truly as dismissive to their mother as we see on the show, Amy deserves to pull up stakes, live wherever, travel with Chris, and somehow try to manage the hurt that she is absolutely, positively allowed to feel. I'm once again stunned by the double standard being expressed about Amy's right to tell her story. Let me get this straight. Matt cheated ... but Amy's at fault for talking about it? In what universe does that make sense?
  8. I think I'd also have a hard time acting as though everything was peachy if I were married to someone who couldn't be bothered with his children's interests and activities, was racking up DUIs, had no follow-through skills, and exhibited more than a few symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. And, really, in response to another post, I'm tired of hearing about the condition of the damned house when the kids were growing up. Matt couldn't be bothered to lift a finger; does anyone else remember watching scenes of Matt sleeping in while Amy drove the kids to school? After making sure they had clean clothes, feeding them breakfast, and -- I don't know -- taking interest in them as humans? I have a difficult time understanding how Amy could have reacted any other way. She obviously grew up thinking marriage was meant to last; my guess is she told herself that she needed to buck up and deal with Matt's bullshit for the sake of the kids, and perhaps because, somewhere deep down, she still loved him. But he wasn't a partner. He was irresponsible and dismissive. And yet, Amy was somehow expected to "stand by her man," and do it with a smile on her face? Come on. I wonder how Amy would have been collectively judged had she slept in, skipped soccer games because they bored her, been charged with DUI -- twice -- and left family vacations early. Sorry, but the double standard around this is ridiculously blatant.
  9. Fraternal twins in a father's family are of no consequence. https://www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/twins-and-multiples/do-twins-really-run-in-families/
  10. I would have agreed with you until last night. I think the groundwork is being laid for Amy's next chapter -- and that might just involve a little wedding. It's a "thou doth protest too much" situation. So much has been made this season about the fact that Chris and Amy are taking it slowly, don't have any plans, etc. BUT: - We've now hard Chris talk about his backstory -- fear of commitment because he's been cheated on. - Amy has been emotionally vulnerable this season, too. So we're seeing both parties lay down their baggage, maybe in preparation for a fresh start. - Going forward, the show's gonna need a hook for survival, and Matt and Caryn aren't it. We loyal viewers are pretty smart folks, and no one seems to enjoy watching a couple of cheaters make fun of the person on whom they cheated. - Amy's not perfect, but I think there are quite a few of us who can relate -- as women, as mothers, as people who have been surprised by a turn life has taken, only to pull ourselves up and make better lives for ourselves. Amy was a bullied little girl with little self-esteem who grew into a marginalized wife with even less self-esteem. I, for one, look forward to watching her life take a more positive turn. - I wouldn't have said this months ago, but I believe I'm in Chris's corner as of late. He's putting in the time and the effort. He's developing relationships with the kids independently of Amy. He willingly visited her emotionally distant parents and tried to make the best of the trip. Initially, he may have been in this to boost his business, but I think that ship has sailed. Jeremy and Audrey are gone (yay). Zach and Tori can't carry the show. Matt's showing some pretty ugly true colors. Maybe it will be Amy's "second act" that will keep the show afloat. I'm rooting for her.
  11. For those boys to continue to suck up to their dad as his obnoxious, dishonest, entitled side piece demeans their mom on camera Is upsetting. Shame on them both.
  12. My grandson, 18 months, calls us both "Grandma," so I assume we're going to differentiate with first names. And I imagine Caryn will receive the unearned "Grandma" title, primarily because Jeremy is dismissive of his mother and Audrey seems to have outright disdain for her. First, I'm sure an LP mother-in-law is pretty far outside her brand; second, I'm sure the fact that Amy and Chris are intimate doesn't sit well with their moral superiority. I SO do not miss those two.
  13. I hope the twins show the same amount of respect to their mother that they showed Matt when he published the children's book about his dog. I realize there's somewhat of a pattern to my comments as of late; I'm irritated that the boys appear to be showing the same amounts of dismissal and even disdain toward Amy that Matt has always shown. Matt and Amy each are likely sitting pretty well financially, but my guess is Amy has invested more wisely and been more frugal. Here's my hope: that when Matt passes away, Zach and Jeremy are greeted with, "Sorry -- he blew through it all, and the little that's left is earmarked for Caryn." Then perhaps Amy will get some well-deserved attention -- even for the wrong reasons. She's not perfect, but SHE parented those kids while Matt busied himself elsewhere. She deserves better.
  14. So what do we all think the big decision ends up being? My prediction: Amy stays put. Chris moves in, maybe. For dramatic purposes -- they do need people to watch, after all -- I think Amy has been leading us to believe she's ready for a new start. But I think the big reveal will be that she's decided she has every right to stay exactly where she is; that the legacy of the farm, and the opportunity to share it with her grandkids, is worth more than moving on. Or I could be totally, entirely wrong.
  15. Not to split hairs, but he did earn his GED. I don't worry too much about Jacob. He seems to be a smart, decent guy who respects his mom, and he and his fiancee both seem to have some artistic talent. Much has been written about the anger, and relationships seem to have been mended. He'll figure out one day that he needs to make some money. I wouldn't be surprised if he harbors some resentment toward Matt for, you know, almost killing him and all.
  16. I remember all this very differently; I recall that Amy was quite upset, for example, when Matt decided to skip Zach's soccer games because they bored him. And correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't he come close to missing the boys' graduation? I think Amy would have been pleased to see Matt step up and be a parent. I'm actually quite disappointed that Zach seems to have forgotten that his mother was his biggest champion.
  17. The condition of the house certainly was not Amy's sole responsibility. If Matt had time to screw around, rack up DUIs, and start projects he never finished, he could certainly have helped clean the house every now and again. Curious about your Jacob comment ... what has he become?
  18. This has to be a coincidence, as the daughter is far too old ... but if you check out Caryn's Instagram, her daughter looks as though she could belong to Matt. Same exact chin, for starters.
  19. If your marriage is loveless and sexless, try to fix it. If you can't, extricate yourself. THEN you can begin fucking the help. I'm divorced. We had small children at the time. Neither of us cheated, and we each remarried others a few years later. The four of us actually ARE good friends -- because neither my ex nor I violated the other's trust, or dishonored our commitment. We were ill-suited to one another and fought all the time, and realized we needed to change course. It hasn't all been sunshine and roses; we're not perfect. But because we're decent people, we handled a tough situation respectfully and with concern for one another and our kids. I feel strongly that Amy is legally barred from discussing Matt's cheating on the show -- but as noted, she clearly wasn't barred from discussing it on a podcast. It seems very clear that Matt cheated, and that he cheated with Caryn. In light of that, then, I do have to admit to some confusion around the kids' behavior. Although Matt clearly stepped out on Amy, had at least two OWIs during the marriage, and behaved selfishly and irresponsibly even (especially?) when the cameras were rolling, the twins and their wives seem perfectly accepting of him, and of Caryn. Zac and Tori seem accepting of Chris as well -- but, at the risk of oversimplifying, there's nothing for them to resent Chris about. He came along after Matt and Amy parted. The kids are harder on, and colder toward, Amy. That makes me sad for her. Was she a perfect wife? We all know she wasn't. She's got her demons -- but Matt stepped outside the marriage, thereby violating her trust. So, yes. Technically, she's the victim here.
  20. Maybe this has been covered, but the fact that Caryn is now making snarky comments about Amy is rubbing me the wrong way. I expect as much from Matt, but I'd like to see Caryn take the high road.
  21. My guess is Amy is prevented legally from discussing it on the show. Apparently she is NOT prevented from discussing it on a podcast. As far as Chris, I imagine he is simply trying to help Amy move beyond what happened. He mentioned that he was cheated on more than once; I doubt he's in favor of Matt's having conducted himself in that manner, but he also seems to be a pretty logical guy who sees value in helping everyone get along.
  22. I think it's likely we can all agree that if Matt were simply Matt the accountant or Matt the car salesman, Caryn would have had little interest. If the finances dwindle and the healthcare responsibilities ramp up, I imagine she'll be questioning the relationship.
  23. So much snark, so little time. I don't dislike Chris, but his petulance in this episode was tiresome. And, my God, Amy, please like him a little less. Just a tiny bit less. I agree with the commenter upthread who surmised that if Chris suggested moving to another state, Amy would have her bags packed immediately. She is a little too all about him for my taste. And Matt ... sigh. I didn't think it was possible to like him any less, but he is such a selfish, insufferable asswipe. He has bitched for how long now about the DW? And now he wants it because Caryn is more comfortable there, no doubt. And what is Caryn's deal, seriously? There wouldn't be enough money in the world to make me even entertain the possibility of involving myself with such a hateful, spoiled son of a bitch. Speaking of sons, I'd be curious to know what Matt's parents think of his antics. In the older episodes, they were shown as being pretty religious and conservative. Wonder how they justify Matt's having f*cked the help.
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