Auntie Anxiety

Leida looks like she’s in her evening gown outfit for the Miss Indonesia pageant.

If Leida stays married to Eric, the missing pants fiasco is just the first of many screw ups.

Is there a name for a rear end camel toe? Wedgie?

My newest insight: Coltee is XXY.

The guy stuck around because Colt rented the chairs for just an hour.

Ashley hasn’t yet come to the realization that Jay will touch everything but the third rail.

Cousin John wore his new flip flops for the occasion.

Goodwill has a bridal section? Who knew!

Trashley, you both have a vagina. That’s enough for Mr. Skinz.

That’s quite a getup on Roller Derby Friend. Yikes.

Trashley’s friend looks like she’s on her way to roller derby practice.

Looks like Cousin John dressed up for the wedding in his CLEAN Friendly’s shirt.

Wait, did Jonathan’s mother not show for the wedding?

Same actor sent down from Central Casting that went out with Colt and Larissa and then Kolonic’s bachelorette party. Free food!

Colt has no affect whatsoever. We’ve never seen him excited, angry, frustrated, nothing. Weird.

Olga, you are so much better off with Steven going back to the rock he climbed out from under.

Trashley needs some psychotherapy to help her understand why she picks such bad guys. Low self-esteem is just the tip,of the iceberg.

I cannot wait to see what The Best Wedding Ever looks like. The venue appears to be akin to the banquet room at the local bowling alley.

That’s a favorite trope on any number of reality shows. I heard it time and again on Intervention. “I love my kids more than anything. Okay, I need to call my dealer now.”

Someone on one of forums called Asuelu “Little Huey.” So apt.

Oh geez. First up is Jay. What a douche he is. Inviting them to your house? Oh, snap.

The last thing anyone wants is for Asuelu’s balls to be sweaty. It might hinder his ability to impregnate Kolonic. Oh, wait.....

I’ve been thinking about my 90 Day Fiancé New Year’s resolutions: #1) Work on myself, babe. #2) Keep my closets proper. #3) Order a case of Samoas and then re-order another case in about 5 months, to be delivered nine months from that date. #4) Wear a penis necklace to my niece’s wedding.

Jay knew he wasn’t ready to get married. He had second thoughts and misgivings from the jump, yet at no time did we see him be straight with Trashley about it. If nothing else, I would expect a 20yo to have some semblance of a conscience. Sadly, the “my love can change him” trope is common among women of all ages. If I could, I’d scream from the rooftops that if you think you are going to change someone, you’re NOT. They are who they are. I wish I could understand what went through Ashley’s head when she considered Jay to be a good marriage prospect. Aside from his good looks, charm and sexual prowess, he didn’t have a lot to offer a 30 year old mother of two.

I still can’t believe that Eric the Haggard threw his kids over for the likes of Leida. It would have been bad enough, but for her? Does she have a magical vagina or something? I can never imagine pushing my kids aside for anyone, much less a spoiled, entitled poseur who will be looking for her next victim after she wakes up to the fact that Eric will always be a depressed underachiever who cannot provide all the niceties that Leida has come to expect.