bluepiano

Yeah, that was bizarre. But not the first "yuk, girls" comment made by one of the women.

Stephen is going out (sigh) on a high. The piece on his grade school notebook was hysterical. A great F.U. to Bill O'Reilly, who like every other Fox blowhard loves to pontificate about war and the military when they don't have the slightest iota of real knowledge on the subject. (Having all successfully ducked military service, like the super patriots they are). When I was a kid I knew every line on Bill Cosby's "Why is There Air" album by heart. Pure comedy gold. But when I soured on him is when he become corporate America's number one pitchman for sale. The Simpsons did a great take-off on that, when they had him pontificating "life is like a Jello pudding pop, no it's like Kodak film...etc."

A lot of them actually believe that it doesn't matter how much damage we do to the planet because God is going to come along and fix it. I mean, he wouldn't let his own creation go down the tubes, would he? And then there's probably an equal number that thinks it doesn't matter because we living in the end times and when Jesus returns and the Rapture takes place the world will be destroyed anyway. Which is why religionists should be disqualified from serving in public office and making policy.

This season is already blending in my mind with past seasons, I guess because all the "characters" are types that they keep casting for. There is a blonde with short hair who wears a kerchief on her head who I could swear is a repeat from last season, or else a lost twin. The only people who stand out (and not in a good way) are Sterling, because of his "I'm so crazy" act, and Frank, who I think of as Sylvester Stallone Lite. Too bad there isn't a female contestant named Adrian, so we could her his "yo, Adrian." Well, at least the women's team is as bad as the men this year, so that's different. Kalen seems particularly useless, and I think should've gone home last week. I'm still shocked by the boot of Denine, who had seemed destined to play the "unpopular bad girl" until late in the season. And (sexism alert), out of this years' sad group she was what passed for eye candy. So I was fully expecting GR to ask for Kalen's jacket. What gives? The hallmark of every Gordon Ramsey show is its complete predictability, so I'm surprised when I'm surprised. Has there ever been a contestant who was labeled a "culinary student?" That was another reason I thought she'd stick around, so the others could bitch she shouldn't even be there, because she's not a culinary pro. Though I am always skeptical about the actual qualifications of most HK contestants. I think its likely many of them work at franchise restaurants like a Chili's or Red Lobster. That's not a put-down, but it's why I believe there's a pre-selected winner, because maybe only one or two of the bunch have the actual resume to get a job with GR. One of the women this year has the title of "Kitchen Supervisor." What does that mean? Sounds like more of an administrative position than someone who actually cooks.

Something seems to have changed in the show this year, because in seasons past trucks often struggled to get enough patrons, and they had to lower prices to get business. This season, wherever the trucks show up they have lines around the block, composed of people who are committing to buying food in order to be part of a TV show. Hence the ridiculous price gouging by Lone Star. That incident when they didn't have the grouper says it all. In the real world, without a camera on him, I'd like to hear what that guy would've really said when offered the chance to pay $30 for tilapia, (Maybe 3x what it would've been at an actual, not on TV food truck). They should at least be as honest as "Kitchen Nightmares" when GR says "word's got out we're in town, so the restaurant is packed. They're not pretending that they're filming a normal night. (And when you lack the integrity of a Gordon Ramsey TV show, you know you're in trouble. I hope that we're in store for an underdog win by Middle Feast, because I feel like this entire season the deck has been stacked for Lone Star Chuck Wagon. They cook Tex-Mex, so where have the challenges taken place? Texas and a bunch of other southwestern and southern states where their cuisine is well known and the go-to eat out food for huge numbers of people. Kudos to Middle Feast for making it to the final two having to serve food that in most of the locations has been very foreign. (And now they are in Florida, but on the non-Jewish west coast). This season has been a travesty.

A fitting end to the season, because it touched on almost everything that has made this show go downhill. It wasn't great last season, but it didn't seem to be such a constant insult to viewer intelligence. Most of the owners, as they were presented, were so clueless it's hard to believe they could've stay open long enough to be rescued. The turnarounds, thanks to miracle worker Saint Gordon, happened ridiculously fast. As in this episode, where one heart to heart talk from Gordon completely reverses what has obviously been many years of incredibly immature, self-indulgent, assholish behavior. And just how fast are the physical makeovers supposed to happen? At least on Hotel Impossible they show you the work being done, which makes it plausible. This episode featured yet another stunningly inappropriate and amateurish redesign. I love old hotels, and if I'd booked Murphy's based on its history I would've walked into that lobby and thought WTF? That tacky sign saying "Murphy's" looked like it was made in high school wood shop. There was nothing "period" about it. Might as well have been blinking neon. As for the all-night partying, a hotel bar that's the main drinking spot in a small town might get noisy on weekend nights, but it's not going to be 'Fellini Satyricon." What we saw totally had the feel of a bunch of extras told to act wild and crazy for the camera. (That said, whenever I consider booking an in-town hotel I always read online reviews to see if anyone mentions late night nosie from either the hotel bar or neighboring bars or clubs. So I think that if you stay at a hotel in the middle of the town's main drag, especially on a weekend, it's buyer beware. And bring earplugs. And headphones.) If the show returns, I'm hoping for owners you'd actually want to root for, less fake staged drama, and less GR screaming insults into people's faces. And please Gordon, keep your damn pants on.

I think Howard nailed it when at the beginning of the performance show he said that 4 singers in the finals might split the votes. Thus the 2 variety acts in the top 3. One less singer in the finals and Emily West probably would've won. In fact, I think she might've still won, but I believe she shot herself in the foot by repeating a song she'd already advanced with. It felt safe and cowardly, like she thought she already had it won and didn't need to take the risk of singing something new. The only thing new in that performance was "the world's biggest dress," which I thought looked ridiculous and might also have cost her votes. It went along with the whole over-the-top aspect of the performance. (I admit to not liking that genre of melodramatic song. I know it's a contemporary song, but it felt dated a/la Whitney/Celine Dion. I know Emily West wants to totally change her old country singer image, but I hope she's not planning to go the diva route.) Compared to the singers who repeated songs, I think that Mat got credit for a doing a new trick. I'm glad he won, but surprised because I didn't think it was his best night. The patter felt too rushed, and it did not help the trick that his hands twice dropped below the table. But I give him credit for trying to win it all with sleight-of-hand, instead of going for something "big." As a previous poster said, I think that this year the magic acts (or at least the successful ones) were refreshing, because they didn't go for the big, Vegas-style illusions, which have less to do with the skill of the magician than the budget for purchasing the equipment

If Miguel Dakota is a "rock star," as Mel said, than that term is now officially dead. (And could she have come up with any more cliches? Rock star, pop star, in your own lane. This is the what they get paid mega millions for?) I hate how hard this show is pushing Miguel, even to the point where they've tried to completely remake his image, from sensitive neo-folkie to sexy, swaggering, bad boy. Except the only problem is that he's way more David Cassidy than Mick Jagger. Well, the little girls that Howie talked about may get him win, and what a joke that would be. Not that I think there's any contestant this year with a "wow" factor, but if a typical bland "American Idol" WGWG can win this show, then it's lost whatever individuality it had left. And oh yeah, hated that drummer, who I guess they put on stage and gave close-ups to because they thought he was also cute. Dude, that raising the drums sticks over your head thing is so freakin' lame, like you're still 12 years old playing in front of the mirror in your basement. And here's a hint. If you're performing "Gimme Shelter," one of the darkest songs ever written, try not to smile through the whole thing. It ain't always about you.

I didn't catch that, but I did hear the guy from the Texas food truck saying they were charging $22 for their steak roll. And I'm calling shenanigans, because I just don't believe people are paying those prices at a food truck, unless they're being subsidized by the producers. True, food trucks are not just about tacos and burgers anymore, but even at more upscale food trucks the top price for any one item is usually $13 or $14. Spending $22 at a food truck (plus more if you add a drink or side) is crazy, In large part trucks thrive because people are happy to pay less for quality food and forego the amenities. In past seasons we saw teams attempting the keep prices down as a way to attract more customers. This season it seems the strategy is the pricier the better, which would be a first in the food truck business. Well, the promo for next week says it's going to be about the food, and it's about time. The food has been pretty much an after thought all year, as we've seen nothing even slightly innovative. Three trucks doing Mexican/Tex-Mex. Another doing school cafeteria greatest hits. And bacon, bacon, and more bacon. Yawn.

Don't know what franchise food chains you're thinking of, because I have never seen Middle Eastern food at a BK, Wendy's etc. I think that most people with mainstream taste are afraid of Middle Eastern food because of its reputation for being spicy. (lots of garlic). Some years ago I was living in the Midwest, and picked the only Middle Eastern restaurant in town for an office lunch. People were horrified, like I wanted them to eat fried lizard. Ditto to what everyone has said about Military Moms. They had no marketing ideas other than to roll into every town and try to call up veterans organizations. And no thought given to their food. They lucked out in Tucson by parking in front of an VFW hall, where their "support the military" line of BS got people to pay a ridiculous amount of money for what you'd put in a 7 year old's lunch bag. To me, "comfort food" is the most meaningless cliché, because it means something different to everyone. It's what you grew up with, which can vary widely depending on where you lived or ethnic background. I like the girl from Beach Cruisers who's always out there hustling. She really knows how to work it, if she could get people in that hipster bar to pay for food when the bar was giving it away free. Kudos to her, and if you're pretty and have a nice smile nothing wrong with using that. She's the only reason her team has won two weeks in a row. I don't think it's the food. And God, is their chef annoying and full of himself.

I had expected/feared that every week the strategy of Military Moms would be to sell to the local VFW, American Legion, or other veteran or military related organization. We've seen that kind of marketing before, where, say a Hawaiian food truck will connect with the local Hawaiian community. But in virtually every town or city in the U.S. there are organized veterans groups, and so the MM have a huge advantage. I hope that the producers are going to somehow prevent them from every parking at a VFW hall, or calling local veterans groups to drum up business. Beyond the potential for repetitiveness, I hate to see the concept of military service being exploited as a marketing ploy. I dislike the quasi-military outfits they wear, and I really hate the cutesy play on word of their slogan: "proud to serve...comfort food." These women are trying launch a money making venture for themselves, like every other competing team. Buying their food is not a patriotic act, nor a way to honor people in the military or dead or disabled veterans, past or present.

Or at any mall with a Gap. I think it's because there are so many singing competition shows that the singers on AGT have an advantage. People are just used to voting for singers. And they don't see enough of some of the others kinds of acts to have a basis for judging. Especially someone unique like Andrey Moraru. There are also a lot magicians/illusionist on TV, which helps the magic acts on this show. I'm starting to think that Kenichi winning last year was a fluke. This season he might not have even gotten to the finals. I can only imagine Mara Justine making the finals over him. To think, we very nearly were rid of Mara Justine a couple of weeks ago. Since that save she has probably been building momentum. No matter what happens now, there are surely scads of stage parents across the country telling their 10 year olds to scream and scream louder. Only they're calling it "singing." When Howard said the other night about Emily West "here was have a real singer" I heard it as an accidental admission that their hyping MJ and Miguel Dakota for has nothing to do with vocal talent. Heidi's complete misunderstanding of Dan Naturman's joke about learning German was just more evidence that she should not be on this panel. But its his own fault. He should've learn from Taylor Williamson's experience last year that it's best not to involve Heidi in your act, as she has little comprehension about comedy. (Or much else. for that matter). Had he made the "friend" in his joke any European nationality other than German, than Heidi wouldn't have felt that he'd offended everyone in the audience. (By which she meant herself).

Bad Boys of Ballet should be called Chippendale Boys of Ballet. The bare torsos and pec massaging had nothing to do with dance. I guess the strategy was to go for cougar and tween girl votes. Also, air guitar strumming and hip hop hand signs do not make one "bad." Heidi's comments about their performance showed once again showed how little the judges know about the arts. Dancers have been combining ballet and modern dance with rock music and "attitude" for years. When she said that this was something we've never seen before, I was thinking "speak for yourself." The judges also know nothing about singing, because as weak as Paul Ieti's performance may have been, he is still technically a much better singer that Mara Justine. Even grading her on a curve because of her age.

At least this broke the pattern from the previous two shows with a hotel owner who really needed help, instead of the alcoholic millionaire or the two spoiled rotten sisters. But we were still handed some stuff that was hard to swallow. I believe that maybe the housekeeper was working in exchange for room and board, not completely unheard of at a struggling business in an economically depressed areas. But I certainly don't believe that applied to every employee, especially the chef. And the show is now really insulting our intelligence if it expected us to believe that GR thought he was going to a Four Season Resort for an episode of "Hotel Hell." Initially I thought he was making a joke, but then it just kept belaboring it. Weird. Ditto to what others have said about the makeover. I didn't think the first room we saw was all that bad. About what I'd expect at a Vermont country inn. (Though not one charging $209 a night, if we can believe that. More like $89). Years before there was ever a Four Seasons luxury hotel chain I bet there were literally hundreds of motels or hotels across the country with "four seasons" in their name, meaning that it's a place you can stay in for all four seasons. "Four seasons" is a common phrase in the English language. Despite the armies of lawyers hired by corporate America, not everything can be copyrighted. The only way the Four Seasons chain could bring legal action is if a hotel was using their trademarked logo or advertising in a way intentionally meant to mislead people.

It's actually become a knock on the performance if you DON'T get a standing ovation. With almost every act getting a standing ovation maybe they need something else for the acts that really do something special. Like a standing ovation on top of the judges' table. I understand this, but I think it would be possible to have some kind of balance. Obviously the show is never going to give us completely honest evaluations of the performances, but what's the point of even having judges if they don't at least occasionally point out the emperor has no clothes. A prime example would be the guys who botched their magic trick and had to finally tell Howie which word to pick. The judges weren't even critical of that. Probably the real issue is that the producers pick certain acts that they want to go far and then the judges have to drink the Kool-aid. Do all the judges really think that Mara Justine is a great singer? But I guess when you're being paid all those millions you go with the program. It's especially hard to take from Howard Stern, who as many have pointed out, goes gaga over acts that the radio Howard would've mocked mercilessly. On the other hand, considering that most of the acts on this show are singers and dancer, there really is no one on the panel with expertise in those subjects. You've got two comedians/hosts, a model, and in Mel B what I will kindly call an entertainer. The Spice Girls sang and danced, after a fashion, but that was hardly the source of their "fame."

Two things killing this show are the overabundance of kid acts and the ridiculously over-the-top praise by the judges for virtually every act. The worst "criticism" you'll ever hear is "I'm not sure that was your best performance." (which gets boos and groans from the audience). Based on what they say, the judges must not get out much. To cite one of countless examples, a dance group throws a girl up in the air, like every high school cheerleading squad, and the judges act like it's the most awesome, original, death-defying thing ever. The other thing I could do without is the constant brainwashing that this is the best season of AGT, the greatest night, the toughest dance category ever etc. (Regarding dance, I haven't seen a single act that blew me away. Many of these dance troupes do seem to have gotten their choreography from cheerleading squads, substituting back flips and gymnastics for actual dancing. And the hip hop dancers do the same moves I can see any Sunday in the park by people dancing for tips.)

I interpret that as meaning final say over who is declared the winner. Whether the stated prize is actually awarded or not should be a different matter. I presume that the people on Jeopardy really get the money they win. Why should a show like this be any different. Even if Food Network has fine print in the contract that protects them from a lawsuit (or FCC investigation), they are still lying to the audience. And apparently to the people who compete as well.

Maybe this has already come to light in another forum, as it's old article, but I just read this piece about the Todd English episode of "Chef Wanted" and thought it was worth sharing. It confirms what I've suspected all along about reality shows in which the prize is supposed to be a job. Would anyone really leave really the hiring of the executive chef position at their New York restaurant up to a TV show? It would be more believable if the prize offered were a job somewhere in the chef's organization, but that doesn't make for dramatic television. And apparently even that never happened. Of course there are two sides to every story, but based on this article I firmly believe Wilson. What reason would he have to lie and go to the media if he had really been offered the job? At the very least he was never offered the position at Olive's in New York City, which was the stated prize. I don't see how the network and their producers can get away with this sort of thing. It's appalling that they can play with people's lives for the sake of a TV show. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/15/tully-wilson-chef-wanted-todd-english_n_2131917.html

Well said. I can imagine a scene in which she resisted wanting to be part of this, and the producers pressuring her and telling her that it was her best shot at getting to the next round. Which she did. As for her performance, I thought her major stylistic change, from her appearance to the song she sang, was a terrible miscalculation. As Howard said, in her first couple of appearances you felt she was doing music that was close to her heart. The other night there was nothing the least bit distinctive about her. Again I'm sure it was producer manipulation. Most of these contestants are so young, you get the sense that they don't have the wherewithal to stick to their guns and perform what they want to perform. 100% correct, theatremouse. I could not believe that cut away to the judges table, especially as the camera stayed there for several seconds, which in the context of a magic trick felt like forever. By the time they cut back to the stage, the flow of the trick was ruined for the TV audience. That was clueless direction. Unless the cut away was intentional because there was something they didn't want the audience to see. I thought that Mike Super's lack of any real response when Howard told him to get rid of Desmond was the give-away that Desmond really was just part of his schtick. If Desmond had been his "spirit friend" since childhood I think he would've at least gotten defensive, the way people generally get if you say something critical of their religion or some other deeply held, long time belief. .

I watched his performance again, and I really think the issue is he was coached to be very showy and dramatic, so he did things like raising his hands up above his shoulder so they could come crashing down on the keyboard, which is terrible piano technique and bound to lead to bum chords. Unless maybe you've been doing that sort of thing for way longer than this kid has been alive. It's the kind of schtick Liberace made a career of, and what made him an entertainer and not a serious concert pianist. (He started out on the concert pianist route and then decided to go for the money and fame). Maybe it was the right decision in term of getting votes and audience applause. The judges certainly fell for it, even if Mozart was turning over in his grave at hearing his beautiful, sensitive piece played like it was "The Star and Stripes Forever." The opening of Adrian's bio piece was a shot of an award in a piano competition, so I assume he does not play like that all the time, or he would not be winning any kind of competition, even at the beginning level. Maybe now that he's had his 15 minutes of fame he will return to playing piano the right way, and his normal life. (Or as normal as life can be for a 9 year old going into the 10th grade). PS - Not surprising that his mother is a Russian emigrant, as that is a culture that is steeped in pushing kids to achieve big things at a very young age.

So true. They have no standards by which to judge. As with many people, anything that is "classical" impresses them, because it smacks of culture, and they don't want to appear uncouth or uneducated by failing to be impressed. But there are 9 year olds who are true prodigies who play beautifully, far beyond what this kid is capable of. It's the same with the opera singers who go on this show. Many of them are technically weak, and would never make the grade on a real opera stage. (At least the woman who sang opera in a bikini seemed to realize she needed to have something else going on.) Don't get Dragon House "The Agents." We've seen the same kinds of moves so many times before, and with more flair. And when you put all the background dancers up there it's just distracting, and makes what they're doing out front seem not that special. Exactly. And I find it offensive that her mental illness (or whatever you want to call it) has been used as a gimmick to help sell her act. Had she just come on and sang without the back story I doubt she would've even made it out of the auditions. And I truly believe that her panic attack in the last round, where they had to find her and convince her to go on. was totally staged. We know that the producers like to play up the sob stories, but that kind of manipulation is on another level, and in really bad taste.

As for Lenny trying to woo Giada, I strongly suspect that he plays for the other team, though he's deeply in the closet. What was it he posted on FB or some other site? "Voted best lover by women, 2002 - 2010" or some such nonsense. Unless you're about 16 years old. that totally has an aura of "methinks he protest too much." Voted best lover BY WOMEN? It seems to me that most guys would just say "Voted best lover." Why the added clarification?

Cowboy Lenny must be the first Food Network host to publicly describe a specific sex act he would like to perform on another FN host. Certainly the crude and offensive nature of his comments and language relating to women and gays (and even black people, subtlety) go beyond what Paula Dean said. But I guess that FN can take the "out" that he was not an FN employee at the time those internet posts were made. But nowadays, almost every company looks into the background of a prospective employee as part of the hiring process, and anything public is fair game. So that Facebook picture you posted of yourself passed out drunk on a beach in Mexico could make your prospective employer decide you are not the right person to handle large sums of money. Or be a youth counselor. A lot of young people don't grasp the concept of separation between the private and public worlds, but Lenny is old enough to know better. Which leads to the conclusion many have made that he's something of an exhibitionist. For him the thrill is worth the risk. That he got away with it in regards to being on FNS is pretty amazing. With the prospect of putting someone on the air to publicly represent your brand, you would expect the highest possible level of scrutiny. But who can understand anything that Food Network does these days. I just wonder who's getting the job of keeping Lenny and The Drummonds apart at the FN holiday party.

And Trisha Yearwood and Demaris. When is Food Network going to merge with Country Music Television? Well, about 90% of reality TV shows are about rednecks, swamp men, and assorted other country folk. (Many of them no more legitimately "down home" than Cowboy Lenny). Maybe FN viewership now reflects the demographic of other cable networks. If that's true than FN no longer is concerned with appealing to urban audiences in the northeast and west coast. Which is the audience that you'd think a network about food and cooking would largely be aimed at. But this is 2014, and the Arts and Entertainment network gives us "Duck Dynasty," Bravo is the home of the Real Housewives franchise, and The History Channel helps educate America with "Ice Road Truckers," "Mountain Men," and "Swamp People." The "foodies" and serious home chefs I know who used to watch FN have all pretty much stopped watching. Why would they, as the programming is completely dominated by gimmicky competition and reality shows that are food themed but not really about food or cooking. Plus endless repeats of Triple D. Maybe Cowboy Lenny won the vote because he had an easily recognizable and easy to remember shtick that set him apart from the other contestants. But it was the judges and the FN brass who made him one of the final three. They had to know he was going to win in a popularity contest over a pretty woman (the jealousy factor) and a foreigner with a funny accent. May lighting strike me dead, but I would've preferred Sarah winning to Lenny. At least she was really from Texas. (Not that I would ever watch either.)

Hey, it is Oregon. I know, not all Oregonians are like that. But I live in the northwest and I can tell you that many are. Otherwise, this episode felt even more fake than usual, especially GR getting the two brothers who have allegedly been at each other's throats since birth to kiss and make with one little "guys, get it together" speech. The glowing tributes to Saint Gordon that concluded the show felt endless. I know he has a huge ego, but I wonder if even he could watch that without feeling embarrassed.