I volunteered for a Women's Domestic Violence shelter during college during 2006-2007, and that does happen. Not all the time, but it does happen.
The abuser will send in an friend, relative, or whoever posing as a DV victim into the shelter to look for his partner so the shelter has policies in place to counteract this. The show got it wrong with the GF asking for the ex-wife. A DV shelter would be on high alert if someone came in asking for a specific person. That's a major red flag. Personal info on any shelter residents is kept private. I only volunteered and worked with children in their technology room, but I was told of tactics abusers use to find and confront the DV shelter residents and other things to be aware of. I was shocked and disgusted by this tactic. It's just the lowest of the low.
This storyline reminded me of some things I learned while volunteering at the DV shelter and doing an internship at my state coalition against domestic violence in college. Nearly 20 years later things haven't really changed. The victim defending the abuser while police attempt to or cart him away is very accurate unfortunately.
