PurpleHouse55

The doctor violated her by breaking her water without her consent during the exam. She was being induced because she had high blood pressure (preeclampsia), which is a condition that can become dangerous unless you give birth. So they admit you to the hospital and give you various medications to begin the labor process. But sometimes your symptoms can be borderline, and right before the doctor came in, the nurse mentions that her symptoms are better and her labor is not progressing, so it might be possible for her to go home. (The exact same thing happened to me with my first pregnancy actually, and I was able to go home and wait two weeks before I had to go and be induced again.) Rachel starts to ask the doctor about stopping the labor, but he doesn’t listen and during the exam, he proceeds to break her water. This can *hurt* and involves putting his hand up your vagina and applying a lot of pressure on the “bag of waters” in the area of your cervix. Breaking the water can be a way to make the labor really kick into gear if it’s not progressing from the medication. (The OB broke my water for this reason during my second labor, but I had given consent.) It suddenly makes the contractions about 100 times stronger, and that can feel scary and intense. If the labor still doesn’t progress, it very commonly turns out that you have to have an emergency c-section, which can also suck. (Happened to me.) My doctors respected my autonomy and included me in the decision-making process and I still found the sequence of events miserable and uncomfortable and frustrating (different than my other child who had a natural birth), so I can only imagine how awful and mad and powerless Rachel felt. Unfortunately, if you read childbirth books, they talk about how it has been really common for some (*cough* male *cough*) doctors to think they know better than the patient and just do whatever they think is best. This can apply to breaking water, and also episiotomies (making incisions to, um, make more room for the baby to pass through the birth canal. An even more horrifying thing to do without consent.). Sometimes doctors made/make these choices because they think they’re making the best medical choice, and other times it’s because they’re impatient to get things over with. Overall, I found Rachel’s response to her childbirth experience and the early days of motherhood really realistic and relatable. Under the best circumstances is it one of the craziest physical experiences you can have, and it’s shocking how disorienting it can be to suddenly find yourself responsible for a helpless, fragile life, 24 hours a day when you’re recovering from a major medical procedure. To be violated so disrespectfully by someone who was supposed to help guide her through the process, and given the difficulties of her upbringing, it’s not surprising she feels so traumatized.