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Devvie

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Everything posted by Devvie

  1. Brilliant. Many men would be impressed with that type of independence, success and confidence. Instead, he has to put her down.
  2. There is nothing more unattractive to a healthy person than an insecure person who acts out. Jake. Vinny. Maybe Virginia is self medicating? F the contracts and money! Money is nice, but not worth selling your soul . . . gotta wonder about the hypocrisy of both Paige and Chris putting money before their god (IF that's what's happening). Especially when you compare Ryan to them. Ryan seems to walk the walk and is thoughtful - he's abstaining from sex for the right reasons even though Clara doesn't get it. And, he's right, if she's not on the same page with things he feels deeply about then he's right not to lead her down a path (sex) that will make her think he's falling for her. I respect him.
  3. Right? Like a cat with a mouse. I read that in season 1 they were given $15K and now it's up to $25K. These are relatively young people so that might be considered a sizable sum (especially to broke Chris [not to Erik or Brianna]) but as they get older it might not have been a good decision to do the show and air their dirty laundry for the world to see. A few of these people might have difficultly finding jobs based on many things in the show. $25K isn't going to get anyone through to retirement.
  4. Holding out hope for Clara and Ryan. Holding out hope for Brianna and Vincent. That sulking Vincent crap needs to get shut down. The next time it happens, Brianna needs to say "I see something has upset you, when you are ready to talk about it, let me know" and leave. He'll stop very quickly if she doesn't take the bait and feed those insecurities. My husband pulled that once when we were dating and I had him leave calmly saying "hey somethings bother you. I want you to go home. If you want to talk about it let me know." Never happened again. It's too bad there's not a Marriage 101 that some of these folks could attend. Some have no good examples of what is normal shit-to-work-through and what is unacceptable. Virginia has no clue. I hope she can step up and become a mature woman. I say this for Erik cuz I love him and want him to be happy! Jake. Jake. Jake. Jaime wasn't initially attracted to Doug and Doug handled that so much better than Jake. Jake tries for brief moments to be mature but can't keep it up. For example, "Thank you for the clothes that was nice BUT..." I think Haley could work it out if he was fun/reasonable/not quirky and not attractive to her OR very attractive to her and not so fun/not so reasonable and quirky. There'd be a place to go. Grow more attracted or work on personality stuff. PAIGE! How many times do you need to touch that stove to know it BURNS?!? My god, just open the door and crawl in... I did a little research (not being a Christian). Paige said early on "god never gives us more than we can handle". That is the exact OPPOSITE of what is actually written. What I discovered is this comes from the Christian new testament and the writings of Paul. He wrote, “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it” (1 Corinthians 10:13). What it's saying is that god doesn't give you a temptation you cannot resist. In Paige's case I would think her NOT having sex with Chris is the temptation she needs to bear!!!
  5. To borrow a quote from a movie - Chris "your low self esteem is just good common sense". I think the Mercedes and Paige debate is like the Jennifer and Angelina debate. Both Mercedes and Paige are attractive. Chris, however, is not very attractive (of course his personality taints my opinion). He has that look of Sam the Eagle (the muppet). Furrowed brow , bushy eyebrows, etc. He's also broke. Irritable. Narcissistic. Delusional. At the very least emotionally abusive. And, from that van ride and the group dinner, possibly violent - was he going to take a swing at Erik before Vincent got him outside? He will be a terrible father. Why would any smart woman want to have a child with him? Maybe he treats these women badly in a "wouldn't want to join a club that would have someone like me as a member" way? I've gone back and forth on Haley and Jake and finally decided two things can be true at one time: they are both cringeworthy.
  6. You two are right. Brilliant observations.
  7. I think you're right that Chris is "crazy" (mentally ill). Not talk therapy mentally ill, but medication mentally ill: agitation and irritability (all the time, that over-the-top screaming in the van), overconfidence and grandiosity (he cannot handle being called out or doubted), impulsive and engaging in risky behavior (his irresponsible sexual behavior, shopping, financial risks), etc. And, being homeless often means an underlying mental illness or drug use or both (which the "experts" KNOW is a clear indicator) . I'm not a psychiatrist but someone in my family is bipolar... so it's certainly something I've thought about with Chris. I really hope this woman is NOT pregnant. If he is mentally ill there's a chance of the child being mentally ill. In that case, that kid will need stability, structure, medical attention, for the rest of their life. There's no cure. It pisses me off that everyone from the "experts", to the pastors, Paige, Mercedes, etc. are not seeing this and putting plans in place to nurture this child in a calm drama free environment. And while I am on my soapbox... Virginia saying she takes shots at home is troubling. Erik saying he hopes she "grows out of it" is very naïve. If she doesn't stop, she'll be unable to stop and will be in downward spiral over the course of her life OR picking out a folding chair in the basement of some church sponsored AA meeting. Erik needs to run to an Al-anon meeting to hear what he's in for. I love Erik but he strikes me as a "rescuer" and might be drawn to Virginia to "help" her. Growing to hate on Haley. She's got a big stick up her ass. He's odd but seeming less so all the time, she's just a downer. Her idea of a "chat" seemed more like she was interviewing him. She can't even let him wear his watch backwards! "Do I look like someone who would be into Spartan racing?" she says with her lips pursed. OMG. She reminds me of women I've worked with . . . they are usually successful but just a drag to be around. The type that looks at every project or idea not with a "what's cool about it" but "where's the typo".
  8. Why? Why? Why? Did you agree to meet with them, Paige? I think POS Chris wanted two women to fight over him. And, it seems, it backfired. "I don't want to play with emotions and feelings" Bullshit. That's his MO. And now he wants to READ HIS BIBLE?!? After he told his pastor to more of less go to hell?!? Hilarious. Just a last comment on the champagne, Vince and Brianna. It didn't spill. It wasn't chilled properly and that's why it foamed up out of the bottle. No one's fault. Would have happened to anyone.
  9. I've actually been dipping my toe into the dating waters after divorce (my idea so not real anxious to get back into anything). So, deal breakers: illegal drugs, heavy drinking, smoking, too hard core political in either direction (i.e. nut jobs), mental illness, lying, problem adult children (family drama and chaos), children out of wedlock, history of cheating or abuse, any type of weird sex.
  10. 1989 precursor to "When Erik met Virginia" “Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends. Sally Albright: Why not? Harry Burns: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way. Sally Albright: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved. Harry Burns: No you don't. Sally Albright: Yes I do. Harry Burns: No you don't. Sally Albright: Yes I do. Harry Burns: You only think you do. Sally Albright: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge? Harry Burns: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you. Sally Albright: They do not. Harry Burns: Do too. Sally Albright: They do not. Harry Burns: Do too. Sally Albright: How do you know? Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her. Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive? Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too. Chris and Paige... So I was remembering today an interview I heard many years ago. This guy who fancied himself a real "Ladies Man" (but in fact was a predator) was being honest about his "technique" for finding victims. He said he had a system for figuring out how to pick a woman who he could abuse. He would go into a bar, find a woman, and tell her (not ask) "buy me a drink". The women who would buy him a drink (and turn a blind eye to his rude and demanding behavior) became his next victims. There will always be a Chris who is looking for a Paige. The Paiges of the world don't realize that good men, successful men, etc. like self confident women who won't take their shit. Love the comment above that Haley and Henry are a match! Wouldn't that be great. Make it happen!
  11. Wow. Just wow. Paige said she felt sex was her wifely duty?!? Did I hear that right? She didn't want to "upset her husband"? (Paige maybe you should find a show where you can join a cult or the FLDS - Warren Jeffs needs wife number 65!) Wasn't protected. "Not new to this I'm true to this" what the hell does that even mean? She's laughing about "the honeymoon baby". Paige, you know, babies are human beings. I don't understand this cavalier attitude about potentially bringing a baby into this f'd up situation. Paige, it's 2021 you don't have a wifely duty to have sex and you have a choice - birth control - about choosing only healthy situations in which to have a child. Having unprotected sex with a guy you KNOW is abusive is abhorrent. How about your "maternal duty"? Chris "I hope you don't hate me but I have no control over that"! Hello? Chris, we do have power over that with every single move we make and every word we speak. Every. Day. This situation reminds me of that scene in Jurassic Park where the goat is staked for the T-Rex. The T-Rex is Chris, Paige is the goat, and the producers are the people who tied her there. Jake. OMG. That whole boyfriend thing was odd and troubling. He did apologize but I think that's his go to - "it can't be me she's rejecting so it must be a boyfriend". He's insecure and jealous. That will never change. She's . . . who knows? But it's a bad combination. She shuts down, he overreacts, she shuts down more, he overreacts and on and on. He's a strange guy. Stubbornly entrenched in his odd 80s stuff. He might be too old and inflexible to be married to anyone. But they are not a match. I think she's passive aggressive and it's crazymaking to him. It's hard to watch these two. Call it a day. He just keeps getting hurt. She has all the control and needs to be honest with him.
  12. I wonder if there has been a change in MAFS staff/producers/executives? In the past, I really felt there was a serious side to things - a real effort to match people. Thinking back to season one, it was more sweet, realistic and just interesting. But this season (Chris, for sure, but some others) seems designed for failure, drama and obnoxious behavior worthy of disdain. Maybe it's been happening slowly all along and I'm just noticing. I'm actually angry at myself for watching! It's one thing to watch an interesting social experiment . . .it's another to watch the promotion of abuse. I am not a Christian but I am respectful of Christians and other religions. I must say all this "man of god" talk and "gods will" talk isn't doing any favors to the Christian community. If it was my religion I would be offended to the core. I've known plenty of Christians and they don't sit in the back of vans yelling f-you (even if they are offended) at people. They also don't support that kind of behavior with any type of tolerance. The women I know would have walked back with their heads held high knowing they were doing the right thing.
  13. Chris is abusive. Notice how when people stand up for Paige he is over the top angry - scary angry. So, Paige stays away from those people. He's already isolating her from support. Classic. He puts her down - saying he's not attracted to her, doesn't wear his wedding ring, etc. He outright said he wants someone "submissive" - it's 2021 for gods sake. The sexual questions at the wedding reception were outrageous and insulting. He gaslights by pretending to be someone he's not (man of god, successful, etc). He is out of control most of the time. Seriously, I think the show's experts need to take a stand. I read Dr. Schwartz's response and she's doing a disservice to women to minimize Chris' abuse by letting it play out. Is this not a teaching moment to both men and women? Are the more progressive advertisers and those who are promoting products for women: Amazon, Secret (Spokesperson, Serena Williams), Phexxi, Verzenio (breast cancer), Pentene, Trintellix (depression), L'Oreal, Covergirl, etc. wanting to endorse/fund this type of emotional abuse? He was a joke at first, then cringeworthy, but this has crossed the line too many times. It needs to stop.
  14. Love this forum! Jake. I'm old and know many Jakes. They are the guys who were "in style" during important times of their lives: high school, college, the frat, etc. And they got stuck there. There are guys who still sport their long 70s hair - but now it's thin and gray. Haley needs to take Jake by the hand and show him he can be attractive while living in 2021! Also, a completely no carb diet can give you seriously bad breath. Some describe it as a nail polish remover smell. Maybe that's part of the problem. Virginia. This is sexist but I heard it one time and it made an impression on me. "There is nothing more unattractive than a drunk woman." I hope Virginia's drinking slows down. I think she's spunky and I think Eric is very attracted to her. But, if she doesn't stop, she'll be unable to stop. And that would be sad. Chris. I just spent way too long reading everything everyone else has written - brilliant comments and observations! I am an alum of the University of Washington and took classes from Dr. Pepper Schwartz. She is a brilliant woman and very well regarded (or was). Why would she endorse a clearly abusive and unstable man being cast on this show? Why would any of these "experts"? As a few others have said, this might be the last season for me if he isn't sent packing. There have been others who were unstable: Brett, Katie, Christina, Taylor, but they were mild compared to this over-the-top bag of nuts. He cries (or pretends to), then sulks, then screams, then smirks, etc. He's creepy. And no one but Paige is buying the "man of god" story.
  15. It only took Chris 4 days to have everyone revolving around him like he's the sun. Only he's not sunny, warm and uplifting, he's egocentric, angry and sulking. It's always about him. Paige responds with religious platitudes. If he really had it together, he would leave the show and give Paige her life back. Notice how everyone backs away from him. Virginia needs to remember that when she mouths off to a guy, the guy is going to go after the man she's with not her.
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