This is hilarious!
Ok, here's mine:
After 88 hours in the boxcar, Rick Grimes growled suggestively to his dopey survival group. Rick--better known to his enemies as Officer violently, could see the tension in his friends’ eyeballs. "I've got a plan! A smelly good plan! We're trampolining out of this boxcar and we'll give Gareth the scratching he deserves!" "Now, Carl---take that hideous hat and twist it into the shape of a tea-cup and you can use it to force the door open!" "Daryl: gather each bra we got and we'll be able to bind the Termites fingernails together!" "Remember everybody; if we get split up we'll rendezvous at Buckingham Palace. Stay strong, they don't know who they're hopping with!"
I will be most displeased if the season 5 premiere isn't as entertaining as our scenarios here.