Yes, you writing out the dialogue is so helpful in processing these feelings (my feelings, that is). I agree that Jamie now has the great benefit of time to heal him, and not only just time, but the reunion with Claire and now his daughter. I do think Jamie was relieved to have killed BJR. Devastating as Culloden was to Jamie...ending the clans, his way of life, death of his men, etc...the worst loss that day was Claire, and I think that was the main agony he felt.
Ugh, yes. This was so awkward. I'm guessing maybe it was her delivery, because I don't necessarily disagree