Bruinsfan

That was Luke Cook voicing Salem, though I agree that getting Nick Bakay to reprise his role would have been the cherry on top of this delicious sundae. The meta-ness of existence as an eternal sitcom set really worked for me, and sold the mind-bending qualities of the Eldritch Terrors far better than hobos or tentacles or jackbooted hall monitors could.

The basic idea of the Returned as the distinction between life and death being erased to the detriment of both was pretty chilling, and I liked Lazarus being presented as its representive facing off in a chess game against the natural order in the form of Mambo Marie. But the conflict also manifesting as a battle of the bands MCed by Lucifer was terribly cheesy, and the guy playing the ringleader of Satanic Panic may have rivalled Musetta Vander for terrible line delivery.

More importantly, how did he manage that so casually in the first place? Tricking and trapping Sabrina I'll buy, she tends to accept everything at face value and act before thinking things through. But I can't imagine Lucifer or Lillith being so trusting of his duplicitous clay ass, and the former has already proved that most methods of containing him are very temporary at best.

It makes no sense that there are longtime inviolable rules for the succession of Hell when it's a monarchy established by an immortal ruler, who's incidentally standing right there being lectured about who gets his throne of they win the competition!

Aside from the fact that Zelda recently had everyone saying their prayers to Lilith before going to bed at night, you'd think the fact that she's the world's oldest witch, still in possession of her full powers, and was able to at least temporarily restore Sabrina's witchcraft after she'd given her power away might have figured into the decision of whether or not to welcome her.

Something I don't get is the show's insistence on the Dark Lord and his creator as newer usurpers to the old gods of antiquity. Even in the real world that's probably only true from a Eurocentric perspective, as I believe worship of Yahweh in the Middle East goes back to the late Bronze Age similar to the Greek myths the pagans draw on. But in the context of the show we've literally seen a flashback to Lilith—the first woman—wandering after being kicked out of the Garden of Eden. And the pagan deities sure didn't have worship established in the Americas first if that's where Satan landed after his fall and ran across her.

Certainly he's a huge upgrade from Jesse Eisenberg. It'll be interesting to see what he does as someone with few redeeming features.

I think we needed a break from Watiti more than he needed a break from Marvel films.

I know that the Dark Lord's appearance to denounce Blackwood was a trick of Sabrina's but it really could have just as easily been the real deal considering how much time he spends popping up in Greendale. Given that, it seems particularly foolish for Blackwood to be plotting against his chosen one and advancing his own he-man-woman-haters philosophy for the Church of Night unbidden. It's one thing to insert your own agenda as a spokesman for an absent and possibly fictional deity, but when your god has a habit of showing up in person to hand out marching orders that seems like the sort of thing you should get prior clearance for.

Late to the party, but the warlocks' club makes little sense in multiple respects. Aside from the whole no women allowed/traditional to take (mostly heterosexual) warlocks there for debauchery dichotomy, there's also the question of how this huge, swanky-looking club would stay in business if its only customers are the male members of Greendale's witch population which barely fills a small chapel. Even if all of them drank like Harvey's dad I doubt it could turn a profit. I about lost it when the Dark Lord told Sabrina that he'd manifested on earth to demand that she steal a stick of gum.

Maybe she loves them like I love a good steak? 😉

With a rifle, no less! Bets on Harvey taking a moment to consider exactly how Tommy would have held the gun for his "suicide"?

I've heard that the particular writer of the Variety Article has something of a reputation for sensationalism.

I kinda like the idea that not all of the saccharine match-ups from Hallmark Christmas movies end up going the distance.

I got the sense that Camille and Leo liked each other well enough, and Leo seemed somewhat supportive of Prospero as well.

Did we see Verna actually do anything to set up Prospero's death aside from her original deal with Roderick and Madeline providing the circumstances into which he was born? She gave him a chance to call the orgy off (presumably to die in somewhat less grisly fashion by car accident, drug deal gone wrong, or just his dumb ass forgetting to breathe), and warned Morella and the staff to get out of Dodge. But I think Prospero showered himself and his party guests in toxic waste all by himself.

All of the Ushers being dead could be a major complication. I don't see Juno ruthlessly enforcing extreme prenups the way any of the blood family might have. Bill the Fitness Dork probably at least retained ownership of the house and his own fitness brand, though maybe without the kind of cross promotional support it would have had when paired with Goldbug. Julius might be out of luck, though—Leo doesn't strike me as the sort to have provided for him.

I don't think she collected their souls based on her dismissal of the concept (other than in the sense of setting up their deaths, at least). My suspicion is that all the ghostly apparitions Roderick saw were Verna giving him visions rather than the people's actual spirits. Certainly the deal shouldn't have given her any claim to Annabel Lee's or Griswold's souls, and they appeared to him too. Verna also implied that descendants who rejected the Usher family's privileged life would outlive Roderick. Pity that Lenore really wasn't old enough to do so, if that was an out—another five years and she could have turned her back on the family to be a penniless Liberal Arts student or Peace Corps volunteer.

I knew Alessandra was dead the instant the scene cut after the throw. But I thought Vic was making all those voice mail messages for show, to throw suspicion off herself once the authorities started investigating the disappearance/death. Turns out she completely snapped and thought she'd Frankensteined her wife back to life!

I'm not sure if I like the series or not so far—the overly talky framing scenes of Roderick monologing are trying my patience despite liking Bruce Greenwood and loving Carl Lumbly. But it is interesting seeing just how messed up all the kids are in their own ways, and Carla Gugino is absolutely electric in this role.

What surprises me is that Verna's image appeared on the video recordings from the Masque of the Red Death. That whole sequence made her seem like some insubstantial spirit vanishing from one part of the rave and appearing at another—in fact it wasn't clear to me that anyone but Prospero and Morella could actually see her at all.

On the bright side, maybe some of them were the show's writers!

I assume those were the wraiths she had working for her at the Vampire Council HQ/nightclub.

Oh wow, I of course went looking for whichever of these Luke Macfarlane is starring in this season, and Hallmark better hope that Kim and Penn Holderness don't sue them for copyright infringement over the premise they came up with for their spoof of the Hallmark writers' room!

I hope she trapped the plaintiff's lawyer in an unending loop of "what's that?" and "why?"