doingthejackal

Well damn, there goes my need to do a first-ever post summing up why Victoria has been so frustrating this season because you freaking nailed it. Right on down to how in IG photos, she looks lovely, but on TV, her jaw line gets mushy. And the favoritism. And wanting the old Kelli back. Slow clap, friend.

I know so little about cheerleading in general, let alone NFL cheer teams, but from what I can gather from y'all, the Jets cheer team isn't as good as DCC? I don't know why I'm surprised by that; maybe because there are so many dancers in the NYC area... Or maybe because Danielle came from the Jets and was so good? Anyway. This is going to sound super naive, but according to the show, there are no cheer teams as good as the DCC--is that true? Is it DCC then a huge gap, other teams like the Jets, then, like, the Packers with their local college cheerleaders at the bottom?

So I am remembering that blind item that theorized that Sarah Drew was fired to clear the way for Maggie/Jackson, with her having pitched the loss of faith storyline which was originally intended to lead to a Jackson/April reunion. If that's true--and I'm tinfoil hat enough to believe it is--I'm looking at the finale and wondering: how was April's story supposed to go? Was Matthew always supposed to return, or was that the first change? I can't decide, though I think for sure he wasn't supposed to stick around. Before she was let go, Sarah had an interview where she said that April wasn't ready to move on or something like that. So...my guess as it was originally pitched by Sarah (that Jesse Williams was on board for): When April apologizes to Jackson, that moment would have led to him slowly starting to Have Feelings Again, that he realizes or not, and the near death experience was supposed to bring them back together, him praying for her the big climax to show his depth of feeling. Jackson breaks up with Maggie in the finale (unless the writers are cruel and have Jackson and April reunite before he ends things with Maggie...hmm), and there is a Jackson/April reunion--or at least a kiss--to end the year. And then Maggie enters the next season having been rejected by three guys and spirals in response so she's dark and twisty--a real Grey sister. Shit, now I wish I could see that. Drink that tequila, Maggie! Okay, maybe the last part wasn't in the original plan, but it's in mine. Anyway, that's my guess. Tinfoil hat off. For now.

Okay, so is the adamant actor Jesse who stood in solidarity with Sarah--who had previously pitched the Samuel storyline, which was very successful? And he was adamant about Jackson and April reuniting... ...and the seed that was planted was Jackson and Maggie, but the promise (made to an adamant Jesse) was no, no, no, it's just to throw people off, Jackson and April are the thing, go with the flow. And am I to guess that the envious other folks are or at least include Ellen who would have been totally fine with the idea of removing Sarah to hitch Maggie to Jackson to make Maggie more likable? And to make this not look like it was all just about the Maggie/Jackson ship, the "collateral damage" is firing Jessica Capshaw as well? I totally buy it. This is the gossip I LIVE FOR. I do not need a portrait in my attic; tea like this keeps me young!

I'm glad you mentioned the cruelty in Shangela's LSFYL in your recap, Mark. I could tell that there were funny elements to it (who doesn't love the running man), but that meanness was too much. I felt humiliated the whole time watching it, knowing that it was using overweight women--like me--as a punchline, and hearing the judging panel die laughing was...hard.

That second lip sync made my life. And watching her father and boyfriend react with so much pride and awe--oh, look, a second life! And now Bob's entrance?! Shit, now I'm going to live forever.

All I want for Christmas is "My advice is simple: Hate everybody!" in a gif.

And after that season, Feud: Anne and Shirley. I'm already dreaming of The Turning Point episodes... I feel like this episode would have benefitted by expanding the plot into a second episode, yet I can't tell you exactly what I would move. It's just a general feeling that there were emotional beats that didn't get as fully plumbed. Or maybe I just so enjoyed this episode more than the others before it that I wish there was more of it.

Quick, someone get Debbie a job in the White House!

I just...am struggling, y'all. I used to read Rebecca Serle's recaps of TVD on Vulture and gobble up the Stefan/Caroline stuff she'd gush about. I was a hardcore, shameless Steroline shipper...but somewhere around the twentieth time the show manufactured a reason for them to be fighting/apart/whatever, I got bored. Even during this episode, I figure that the happiness is a Chekov's gun for a breakup (due to death? That's my guess?) in the next ep, so everything felt artificial to me. I know if there is an up, there is a rote and probably overwrought down. I feel like some of the unpredictable magic got sucked out of the show in these last three seasons, but I didn't fully admit it until tonight--when, as a member of the Steroline Bandwagon since Season 2 (!!), I almost missed their wedding kiss because I was texting. I should have been riveted to the screen; instead, I argued with my sister about what shoes she should get from Zappos. Somewhere along the way, I stopped seeing the characters and instead first saw the writers' obvious machinations, and it just makes me sad. Even tonight, I was surprised that it was Vicki and not Katherine, but then instead of being excited at the OMGTwist!!, I felt like shrugging, "I guess they couldn't get Nina to okay doing an extra scene for 8x15 so this was how they covered." This season, I have enjoyed a lot of moments, I even loved an entire ep, but overall, it's not the same. I'm eager for next week because I always am eager for the next TVD, I always hope it's going to be awesome and bring me on the rush like it used to, but I'm glad it's about done.

With Dylan's impending exit (FINALLY) and the fact that with no Brenda book, the end of the podcast eps are dude heavy, I'd like to propose a new challenge that takes aim squarely at Kelly's cat-butt obnoxiousness or Donna benefitting from clear Spelling--as they say in School of Rock--nepotizz. So. I think...it's time for the 5 Ways that Aaron Spelling Clearly Paid off the Producers for Tori, to highlight moments where Donna is praised for (or given opportunities to show herself as) being so pretty, brilliant, sexy, giving, hilarious-STUFF!, kind, barf barf barf. And yes, highlighting her Cleavage of Stone would be one of them, because obviously, somebody thinks she looks Oh So Hot. Probably the same person who paid for those things. Cough. OR? The 5 Things Kelly Should Have Learned in Psych Class. For example: That stringing on two guys makes you look like a narcissist. That Tintin hair is the sign of a disturbed personality. That Mommy issues do not make you special, unless you are Oedipus. That dressing as mumsie-ly as Ohhhndrea means that you are clearly engaging in transference. That Val's attempts to ingratiate herself are clearly signs of a need to be loved so STOP BEING SUCH AN ASS TO HER. Just a thought!

I admit it, I have a crazy soft spot for Dean (though I so rooted for Logan by the end of S7, but that's another story), and I'm so glad he got a good resolution. But I wonder if part of what Rory was saying about who he was to her as a boyfriend, teaching her about being safe, wishing she had met him when she was older, perhaps tipped a hand to her pregnancy and the decisions she'll have to make. To put it another way: does Logan make her feel safe? And if not, then is he who she wants in her life now that she's pregnant? Or maybe I'm just biased because I couldn't believe how hot JP became. Finally, Dean had good hair! Just took eight seasons... I am a more recent GG fan--I watched the series through just this fall--and I thought ASP lost the thread somewhere in season five. Funny that this quartet felt like season five repackaged.

Of course David is getting paid--he's getting paid in experience! The only person earning money for that job is the faculty or staff member advising the station. And I assure you, they aren't paid enough to deal with those winks. What Dan is doing in dating a student and a resident is not only against the rules at most schools, he'd be breaking both faculty rules as a TA and employee rules as an RA. I mean, that's some pretty impressive effin' up.

So, I've worked in universities for fifteen years now--both as a professor and as an administrator, where I've worked in Greek Life, Student Conduct, Athletics, and now senior-level administration. I'm rating it about half-bullshit so far. The biggest bullshit is that Kelly, Donna, and David could live off-campus their freshman year--unless you're living at home, most schools have a requirement that you live on campus your first year. The most accurate is Brandon. Off the top of my head, I can name you five smug freshmen who think they know how to do my job better than me after being at school for a hot second (and when they are sophomores--hoo boy, they know it all. Spoiler!). Though at least their sock/sneaker game is more on point. Damn, boy.

I knew it happens that different groups have their own houses -- but Andrea says "Jewish sororities," "Asian sororities," like each faith or ethnicity might have more than one. That just seemed like a lot. At UCLA today, there are three historically Jewish frats; I think in the early nineties, they had at least one Jewish sorority? Why yes, I was a member and chapter advisor of Alpha Epsilon Phi, the largest Jewish sorority in the nation (Notorious RGB was an AEPhi, holla), why, don't you have random Greek trivia in your back pocket? No, but seriously, since the late 90s/early 00s, Jewish sororities have taken a pretty big hit in membership, partly because the anti-Semitic bullshit was dying out and partly because the Jewish sororities weren't as hooked in to Panhellenic to get themselves onto campuses--it's a big whole thing, but the bottom line is: nah, it's not a lot, especially back in the early 90s (and earlier, given that the writers, I bet, went to college in the 70s and 80s, when Jewish girls who wanted to rush could ONLY get into Jewish sororities like AEPhi and Sigma Delta Tau. But good lord, Leslie Sumner, we wouldn't have rushed Ohndrea. Girl is a buzzkill. Que sera ser-nuh uh.