Flybutter

I'm in Chicago and checked the listings. Looks like The Bachelorette will be aired at 1am on ABC. My DVR did not catch it, so be sure you check yours if you plan to record it. This Sox fan is not pleased that the show has been preempted by the Cubs. :)

Her eyes got on my nerves too. But then I wondered just how exhausted and sleep-deprived these women must be, especially during the first few days of filming. Add to that the multiple liquored beverages, and my eyelids would be drooping too. Remember, Danielle M. is a ripe old 31 years old, which is downright ancient for this show! That, or I'm just projecting my own exhaustion from being 42.

Am I the only one who sees this guy (Wallace Shawn) when Corinne is on my screen?

Chad is more than just your typical douchey TB contestant. He's an awful, aggressive, confrontational, woman-hating, man-hating, self-hating, truth-bombing bully who has likely irked producers and the network with his exposure of how nonsensical it is for people on the show to fall in love for the Bachelor or Bachelorette in mere minutes under these heavily manufactured circumstances. My guess is that all of the Chad scenes in last night's episode - Chad drinking too much, Chad getting too handsy with Lace, Chad being a dick in insulting the others, Chad becoming belligerent, Chad getting crabs, Chad passing out in his own excrement - comprise an intentional effort by the TPTB to take him down and humiliate him as publicly as possible. All in retaliation for his behavior on TB (and probably because they know we viewers would enjoy the schadenfreude too). "Hey, look here, Chad. We'll give you a chance at a redemption arc if you come on BiP. We might even make you our next Bachelor if you can turn America around! Oh and the bar is open all night. Best of luck, brutha!" Give him enough (100% blue agave) rope, and he'll hang himself. I, for one, think he deserves it.

http://www.tmz.com/2016/05/20/real-housewives-ny-plane-crash/ Thank goodness everyone is okay. Carole has endured enough plane crash-related tragedy.

Those two little girls' slightly older playmate Amanda is much too young for all that Botox in her forehead. That thing was as immobile as the 1980 Steelers offensive line.

SO sorry. Here's a link to the mobile version: http://jezebel.com/this-real-housewives-of-orange-county-interview-is-biza-1738078251

I have no words. But I don't need them, because the writer of this article and the oncologists who chime in in the comments section say it all. http://jezebel.com/this-real-housewives-of-orange-county-interview-is-biza-1738078251

The least Chris and Luke could have done was throw Honora's machete back in the river instead of letting her have it. I'd have not taken such a high road myself. Damn, she is one miserable brat. I bet she has few admirers in the real world.

So what's this TMZ is reporting about a two part Bravo special on Joe raising the kids while Teresa's in the slammer? Oy, I was really enjoying not hearing much about them. All this attention (and pay) is just positive reinforcement of their horrible behavior, and it makes me incensed.

I too noticed the bright sunny balcony and thought it seemed out of place for a Dublin hotel. So I googled the hotel they're supposedly staying at there - the Radisson Blu St. Helens. Yup, no balconies like the one we see in that shot. So where was she, talking like she just got her field plowed the night before? Does anyone remember where they were staying on the night Kaitlyn supposedly hooked up with Shawn? I feel like the producers definitely pulled a massive editing switcheroo here.

While deportation sounds harsh and unlikely, the former Assistant U.S. Attorney writing for CNBC states that's is pretty much an inevitability for Joe: "One of the factors that Judge Salas took into consideration in sentencing Teresa Giudice is the near-certainty that her husband is going to be deported to Italy after he completes his 41-month sentence. Giuseppe was brought to the United States by his parents as a 1-year old child, has long held a green card as a lawful permanent resident and had a right to become a citizen at any time before his prosecution. Had Giuseppe taken the step of becoming a citizen, there would be nothing the United States could do to deport him. Instead, because he failed to apply for citizenship before his conviction, there is nothing that Giuseppe can do to avoid deportation, because his conviction for fraud exceeding $10,000 constitutes an "aggravated felony" requiring deportation. When I was an AUSA, I often saw defendants who had fallen into this situation. They were brought to the United States as a child, legally, and became green-card holders. Although they could have applied for citizenship at any time, they elected not to - either (1) because their family did not want to pay the citizenship filing fee or (2) out of a sense of allegiance to their home country. This is the height of folly, which I have seen have tragic consequences dozens of times. Once a person is convicted of an aggravated felony, deportation is automatic after the sentence is served. It does not matter that the person has not lived in the home country for decades, does not speak the language or has no family in that country. There are virtually no circumstances that would allow an immigration judge to overturn the deportation order. So, Teresa Giudice faces two unpleasant possibilities at the end of her husband's incarceration. Either she is going to raise her children on her own in the United States OR she is going to pack up her entire family to Italy, where her hard-won fame will disappear." At least this guy leaves open the possibility of Teresa moving to Italy (which I'm still not sure will be possible). She had better brush up on her Jer-talian.

This might be putting the cart before the horse, but...what happens after Joe has been deported back to Italy? Someone up thread mentioned that Italy does not permit convicted felons (like Teresa) to establish residency there. Presumably, most other western countries have similar policies. Does Teresa visit Joe on a short term tourist visa from time to time? Can he visit her in the U.S.? Do they move to a different country altogether where their criminal pasts don't preclude them from settling down permanently? This assumes, of course, that they even have an appetite to see each other by then. My money is on a divorce within the next 24 months. Either way, it cannot be said enough: those poor kids.

Oh man. TMZ is now reporting that Bravo is paying the Giudices $325k for their appearance on WWHL tonight. TMZ equates it to nearly all of the restitution they owe (although Bravo is apparently denying the amount). But this leads me to a question I have (that I don't think has been addressed here yet): were Joe and Teresa each required to pay $400k+ in restitution? Or is it $400K+ collectively? Either way, if this report is anywhere near accurate, these crooks are being rewarded for their crimes yet again. It actually does pay. http://www.tmz.com/2014/10/06/joe-teresa-giudice-bravo-paid-money-interview-andy-cohen-bravo-restitution/

This whole Ter-EH-sa and Nicole nonsense with the alleged infidelities of their husband and boyfriend, respectively, is just noise to me. I can't tell the two apart (same weathered faces, grizzled bodies with balloons attached, and irritating voices) so I can't tell which one is bitching about what at any given time. As a result, their story lines just don't resonate with me much, if at all. And as a further result, I'm losing interest in this season altogether. Call me crazy, but I'd take the original cast again in a hearbeat.

Apparently when Jim claims he works "with" prosecutors on mortgage fraud matters, he means that he's been PROSECUTED FOR mortgage fraud himself. Well, sort of. See the link below for an order that was entered last year against Mortgage Now and Jim Marchese, individually, in the State of Washington. He and Mortgage Now are prohibited from engaging in any kind of mortgage brokerage business for twenty years there, in part because of charges including the operation of unlicensed branches, provision of misleading pricing, and failure to properly disclose terms to consumers, pay fees, file reports and maintain a surety bond. http://www.dfi.wa.gov/CS%20Orders/C-10-350-13-CO01.pdf Also, Mortgage Now has been audited by HUD and the OIG with not-so-favorable findings. http://www.hudoig.gov/sites/default/files/Audit_Reports/2012-CH-1014.pdf None of this is super salacious, but it could explain why he hasn't attempted to sit for the bar anywhere to become, you know, a real live practicing attorney.

Wonder how Brandi feels about the new Eddie and LeAnn reality show. The Washington Post is definitely not impressed: http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/style-blog/wp/2014/07/18/leann-rimes-eddie-cibrian-image-pr-backfires-with-terrible-new-reality-show/?hpid=z6

I reeeally hope Aviva wasn't hired for this show as a W-2 employee, because I can totally see her threatening a retaliatory discharge or Americans With Disabilities claim if/when Bravo (or the production company) attempts to give her the ax.

I've never been opposed to the swirl during my single days, just never found the right chocolate. However, if I weren't married, I'd be scratching Kandi's eyes out right now trying to get myself some Todd. That is one cute and decent dude.

Why, oh why, is Bravo ok with putting all these reality circuit people on their shows? Bethenny (Celebrity Apprentice, on NBC - owner of Bravo); now Dana/Cody (Dana/Pam?) on that Oxygen show (also part of NBCUniversal); all the Millionaire Matchmaker re-treads... Does Bravo not realize I'm enough of a junkie to notice these things (or read about the "coincidences")? It's hard to come up with any fucks to give for these people when it's so clear they're on these shows solely for self-promotional screen time. (Disclaimer: I know most people are on these shows precisely for the promotional opportunities. But must it be so obvious??)

If "Todd was raised by a pimp and a prostitute" as Mama Joyce suggests, then it's all the more reason to give him props for turning into a seemingly fine man. Mama Joyce, who raised you and what's your excuse for turning into the horrid old biddy you clearly are?

Typically, first looks and sneek peeks of these Housewives shows get me excited for what's to come. I was mildly intrigued to watch Dina's (and Grandma Wrinkles's) return. However, all that was quickly washed away when those awful Twins and The Other One came on my screen. Bleghgh. New Jersey just might be the first franchise I delete from my TiVo schedule.

With any luck the topic of the one-on-one will be Nene's exit from the show, a la Jill Zarin's andyview. But sadly I think this one-on-one will only serve to elevate Nene's ego further into the stratosphere of delusion.

I think Kandi looks beautiful in the wedding pics I've seen online, and Todd is really handsome as well. He has such a kind face, and (so far) a demeanor to match. One little typo, though, and Kandi becomes Mrs. Todd Fucker. Which I actually think she might find as cute as I do. Congrats to the happy couple.

So TMZ is reporting that the Guidices are set to settle their $13M bankruptcy...by paying their creditors a mere $7500. This is just gross to me. http://m.tmz.com/#Article/2014/04/09/teresa-and-joe-giudice-bankruptcy-debt