Johnny Dollar

She should hit up all of the reality doctor shows so they can each get a turn tackling that “thing” between her legs: Dr Pimple Popper, who could also look into those neck warts. The two hot foot doctors; perhaps it’s an extra toe that’s gotten out of hand. The doctors from Botched, who would probably run away screaming into the Hills of Beverly. Dr Drew, who should also try to help Dawn with her “issues”.

For a New York City condo, the monthly “HOA” fee may include a component for real estate taxes on the structure itself as well as common areas.

Dawn is obviously screwing around with Dr Now’s scale and otherwise sabotaging Joyce’s journey of 1,200 calories.

Everything I know about Mormonism I learned from Big Love and The Book of Mormon. And the news articles about that wacko Warren Jeffs. If the kids are alive, which I don’t believe they are, they would already be squirreled away on a compound somewhere in Mexico. Even though Big Love was fictional, some of the plot lines have proven to be accurate when comparing them to the Jeffs case - messianic leader, compounds in Mexico, etc. One point that still sticks with me is the “several weeks” it took for the police in Idaho to do a welfare check on the kids after being asked to do so by the cops in Arizona. You’d think a request coming from another PD would be treated with a little more urgency. I’m sure Chad and Lori have donations by the thousands rolling in from their followers. Based on their message board comments, these people would believe literally anything. What price would you pay to be one of the chosen 144,000? And what better place to wait for the apocalypse than Kauai? I guess Rexburg loses its consecrated status during the winter I hope the feds have at least flagged their passports. The grandparents have stated that the authorities told them more about the investigation that they’d rather not reveal at this time, so I hope these two monsters are taken in soon.

I don’t think pressing charges for causing emotional distress is a thing. Otherwise Mrs Dollar may be looking at a life sentence based on her treatment of the staff at the Macy’s return counter. Any show or movie based on a supernatural element will naturally have its skeptical characters. But the length of time it’s taken for Ralph to come around makes me think that Ben Mendelsohn was told he was being cast in a different show. And I don’t know why the Big Bad even bothered scaring Jeannie and the youngest Maitland girl to get Ralph off the case. He could come face to face with his own doppelgänger and greet him as the twin he never knew he had. Some of the scenes seemed like pointless filler, like Glory calling a very busy Howard. “Hi Howard. I’m going back to work.” “Sounds like a good idea. Wanna sue anybody.” “Nah. I’m good.” “OK. Is there anything else I can do?” “No, I’ll talk to you later.”

The way they were able to completely furnish that hospice wing in one day makes me think that every Pier One and Home Goods on the east side of Manhattan was stripped bare.

Sorry, but nothing happened this episode. If someone missed it and asked me what happened, I would just say that Holly tricked Jack and was able to escape. That’s it. It could have been added to the first five minutes of the next episode. They have really stretched this thing out to way too many episodes, probably because HBO needs content between the really hot shows like Westworld to keep subscribers interested.

The way this trilogy played out makes it seem like the issues the Big Three have dealt with from adolescence through adulthood can all be traced to that fateful night when Rebecca took too much cough medicine and Jack couldn’t finish watching The Shining. Maybe the M Night twist ending to the whole series will be that Jack was an awful husband and father after all.

I fairly certain that Lola gets paid in wigs.

That “thing” hanging off the bottom of Joyce (I refuse to copy it here since just looking at it makes we want to give up on sausage forever) is a perfect example of human evolution at work. It’s like a spigot that she has developed over the years for the direct connection of the meat and sour cream hoses from Taco Bell straight to her panniculus. Only the best 600 pounders have reached this level of genetic sophistication.

There are shows like The Good Place that can pick the perfect time to wrap things up, and then there’s Modern Family. I don’t understand why Jay’s dead, former partner would be getting a lifetime achievement award and why they would give it to Jay and not someone in Earl’s family.

I looked it up so you don’t have too 🤢 Pannus actually refers to a condition of the cornea, often in dogs. It is frequently confused with panniculus, which is what Joyce meant. Please DO NOT do a google image search of panniculus lest you wish to rip out your own corneas

RIP Terry Jones. His Mr Creosote may have been our first pop culture 600 pounder.

Late teens Kate’s comment about Rebecca always having boys lining up to date her is odd since it appears she met Jack when she she was about Kate’s age. When I read that Justin Hartley directed this episode I was hoping for an M Night twist at the end since Kevin had no problem telling M Night that his movie ending sucked.

So Kate was going to fly from LA to Pittsburgh with an infant so she can spend, what, a day in the family cabin with her brothers? And why do they even still have this cabin, with Randall up to his eyeballs in Philly and everybody else living in California? Toddler Kate’s fairy tale ended up with her running into her mother’s arms, yet Kate was always a daddy’s girl. Mark may be one of the shittiest characters in the history of television and nothing less than his slow, painful death would be a fitting end for that bastard. Toby needs to grow up and accept his responsibilities like an adult or leave so Kate can move in with Gregory but I know that’s not going to happen.

Throuple seemed like they were auditioning for their own show. Which would obviously have to be on TLC.

Travis and his wife seem like nice people, certainly deserving the success that he obviously worked very hard for. Not the typical shit-show disasters that TLC is known for. Yet his episode only has 30+ comments almost a week after airing. What does this say about how awful we 600 lb forum-ists are? Who am I kidding? We bathe in our awfulness, proudly wearing gasoline soaked drawers on our way down to the Bad Place.

There is a dissertation level article on the whole operation on the Daily Beast. If you have a couple of hours to kill, and don’t mind spoilers, it’s worth a read. I think it may be the genesis of the renewed interest in a story that happened twenty years ago. Doug was annoying at first, but the show would be very dry without him. He’s been an agent for over twenty years, so he must be doing something right.

I agree. Cynthia Erivo is amazing. If her sing won an Oscar she would’ve been the youngest EGOT ever. She won a Tony for The Color Purple a couple of years ago, along with an Emmy and Grammy for related works. Since Claude was the last character to get scratched, I assume he will be the next perp/victim. But he doesn’t seem to match the typical profile of the wrongly accused being a somewhat good person. The show still moves at much too slow of a pace for me. And Ralph’s cluelessness is really starting to grate. Three separate people draw exactly the same weird drawing and he thinks it’s a coincidence. I don’t know why the demon was so worried about stopping his investigation based on how he’s approaching this whole thing.

OK, so the hospital has gotten rid of tablets, Bloom thinks the staff works better without the help of computers and Max relies on miracles to cure patients. When will the leeches be delivered? Any resident who told their supervisor that they have to effectively use WebMD to make a simple diagnosis would be immediately shown the door. Are brain dead patients that are in a coma typically kept in a hospital for fourteen years? That’s got to be expensive. I thought they’d be in some kind of long term care facility. That bitch Castro can leave at any time.

Just don’t add “when Jo brushes her hair behind her ear” to your drinking game or a coma may be in your future.

If Piper didn’t have her orange disk thingy in her wrist then how did she have powers? It seems like Helen/Not Helen had much cooler powers than Piper after Emily reprogrammed her. I’d take being able to dissolve into a billion nanobots and shape shift over making picture frames fall off the wall any day. Since Emily seems to be able to reprogram these AI’s to do literally anything with just a few keystrokes, if I was the shadowy government guy I’d be much more worried about her than Piper. Well, goodbye show. It’s unlikely you’re coming back. You started off somewhat interesting until someone brought vodka into the writers’ room. Maybe Alison Tolman needs to change agents and get on a show that lasts more than one season.

At the beginning of the episode, he weighed almost as much as Amy and Tammy combined! Maybe his lymphedema can mate with Tammy’s forehead lump.

Don’t get me wrong. I love this show and every one of its ridiculous story lines and saintly perfect characters. Snarking on it just makes it more enjoyable. And it’s rarely boring.

I’ve come to the realization that most people on TLC shows would benefit greatly from combs and mirrors.