Muffyn

OK, I'm on a bit of a roll today. Questions came up regarding whether transgender persons who had gender confirmation surgery where more likely to be suicidal. This idea was based on a misinterpretation of a study by a Swedish researcher. While rates of suicide attempts are higher among transgender persons overall, to clarify from this interview with the researcher: This is an article that needs to be read carefully since it is very detailed and includes references to many of the misinterpretations of this research. Since they are interviewing the actual author of the research, I trust the accuracy of this source. Here is a different study on suicide rates among transgender and gender non-conforming persons. Even if you're not a statistics geek, the first age gives a good synopsis of the findings.

@okerry A small section of the large intestine is used in a colon vaginoplasty. The rectum and anus are not affected as you said. The thing is not all people enjoy anal sex, whether giving or receiving. I have a transgender friend who did choose to have bottom surgery without having a vagina created. The doctors pushed back quite a bit. Partly I believe this is because they focus on what they view as fitting into certain aesthetics and the idea of normal anatomy. My friend made the choice based on her personal desire. She had plenty of material to work with. The other reason for looking toward this form of reconstruction is working toward ending the feeling of body dysmorphia; that is, trying to make the body look and feel the way the person needs to feel properly associated to their physical form. With this show focusing so much on surgery this year, they are glossing over the fact that many transgender people do not have surgery or may not have all of the things Jazz wants. Our bodies and our relationships to them are very personal. As there is no one size fits all experience for cisgender people, neither is there one for transgender people.

When I discuss issues of gender and sexuality with young people, I always go back to the idea that I cannot know exactly how someone feels; I can only know how they tell me they feel. Jazz tells me she is female even though her body appeared male. I accept that. Just as I accept when someone tells me they are sad. Or someone says that they are unhappy with a particular part of their body. When someone tells me what their sexual orientation is, I accept that also. She is at a really awkward age to be on a TV show. Her mother is pushing her to date. It does seem like her mother wants what she views as a "normal" adolescence for Jazz. The problem is there is no 100% normal. We've all had different experiences and Jazz is very different from Jeanette. (Two Jeanettes in a house would be more than any sane person could handle). Jazz does seem very young in some ways. It's not that unusual for a 16 year old to not be dating all the time. Being transgender and being on TV only make this more likely. I wouldn't have wanted my 16 year old self filmed, especially while dating. Are there people who would be interested in dating Jazz? Sure. Are they in her town, do they have an opportunity to get to know her that wouldn't be creepy stalking, ad would she also be interested in them? The group slims greatly. Her exposure is both good and bad - good in that it helps open the conversation about transgender youth, bad in that all of her teenage angst, crankiness, general shittiness toward others is exposed to the world. As always, I think a annua catch up special would be better than this show.

I'm glad that they are showing more of Noelle. Her experiences seem more in line with transgender women that I know. Jazz is in such a different position with total family support, a TV show bringing in money and a family that is well off enough that, when they discuss money issues, it seems more an inconvenience than a real issue. If Jazz wants surgery, she still has to qualify like anyone else (and real, not let's talk to your cousin on camera, therapy would be helpful given many things in her world), but she knows her parents can afford it. I wish the show would go back to showing some more normal interactions. Now every conversations seems to be vaginoplasty. Logically I know Jazz has more to talk about than her genitalia. If she really was talking vaginas day in and day out, she needs a lot of therapy. :-) Also, the production prompting of conversations seems so much more obvious now. They are forgetting to fill with impromptu scenes. Last year I marched in SF Pride as part of the Pulse Nightclub shooting memorial contingent. A friend's cousin had been injured in the shooting. I carried a photo of his friend who had died. Jazz being on a float with a survivor made no sense to me. She felt shoehorned in.

Why transgender and not transgendered? Transgender as an adjective exists in one form. Transgendered, through the addition of the -ed ending, implies a verb (not implies, not makes specific) or makes it seem like transgender is something that happens to a person. As a friend likes to say, she is a transgender Italian American, not a transgendered Italianed American. Being transgender is not something that happened to her; it is something she is. Being Italian is not something that happened to her; it's something she is.

The fitness model didn't look all that fit. She looked more fit than typical, but not to the level expected for fitness models. I appreciate the difficult experience she has been through. Her accident and injuries were horrifying. However, the link from that story to I really need huge breasts didn't make a lot of sense. I agree with @asemumma, smaller breasts would have made more sense. Less risk of complications and they would have fit her frame better. I enjoyed Liberty's story. It was nice to see someone who really appreciated the surgery, had reasonable expectations and a real need. It was also good to see Dr. Nassif in action. We've had a lot of Dr. Dubrow this year. I loathe the man so it makes it that much harder to watch the show. How can he tell every single person that their case is the most extreme case he has ever seen? Shut it, Terry!

Some questions/comments came up regarding the usage of "queer" within LGBTQQIAA2+. Here is the GLAAD reference guide that addresses this language. Queer is used in multiple ways. Sometimes it is used as a term to encompass the entire LGBT community. One reason for the switch from gay community to queer community was to not limit the idea to gay men only. Individuals may chose to identify as queer. This is more common among younger persons with queer being chosen because it does not limit sexual attraction to fitting into the gender binary (that is, someone might be attracted to men or women and non-binary persons). The term is not fully accepted by all persons within the community since it is a slur that is being repurposed/reclaimed. I personally identify as queer from a sexuality perspective. There is also the idea of being genderqueer; that is another term that is sometimes used by non-binary persons. I included the entire listing of letters that have at times been used - the alphabet soup of the queer community. For those wondering these are: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, Asexual, Ally, 2 spirit, + encompasses anything not included that could be (more likely seen with a shorter version of the alphabet). The more you know -----------------*

I am going to take the discussion of the Q in LGBTQ . . . to the questions thread.

She would not need a colostomy while the colon heals. The colon section would be removed; the cut ends are sewn together. There are many people who have had colon surgeries that do not then have colostomies. A colostomy is needed when the colon is removed or so much needs to be removed that function is lost. She would be on a special diet while the colon heals. I have a friend who chose to not have a neo vagina created when she had her bottom surgery. As with anything to do with our bodies, it is a personal choice. For her, this was the right decision at that time. I only know because she told me. Since then, I have not inquired about the state of her genitals. :-) It's not my business. We see such a small portion of the meetings with the surgeons. As one doctor stated, before Jazz would be considered for surgery she has a long way to go. Therapy is the first part. The show seems to be pushing this storyline. In some ways it's a shame because having minimal information leads to more likelihood of people finding all kinds of other information, some good, some not as reliable. I have accompanied friends to surgical conferences for top surgery and bottom surgery. It's not 5 minutes of chat and pick your new labia. There are detailed discussions of functionality, complications, options, full medical history, setting expectations, etc. As someone who has personally had more than 50 surgeries due to a genetic disorder not related to gender, I am aware of the complications on many procedures. Often on TV things are made to look easy, whether it be plastic surgery, weight loss surgery or other procedures. There is always risk, some minor, some major. Bottom surgery is complicated and therefore carries risks. It is up to an individual to decide if that risk is worthwhile for them to feel whole. I am always careful regarding commenting on other people's surgical choices for things such as this. When I speak to students about issues regarding sexuality and gender, I always stress that I cannot know what is going on in someone else's brain. I can only accept what they tell me. I would hope that Jazz will make the best possible decisions she can with as much knowledge and information as she can gain prior to making that decision. I doubt she will have surgery immediately. But the show, understanding that people are interested in this aspect of some transgender people's lives, is making it a major storyline. Now when it comes to driving . . . I drove a motorcycle at 16. I did not learn to drive a car until I was 23 and that was from necessity since I was living in Wisconsin and moved too far from campus to rely on walking, shuttles or public transit. I have many friends who grew up in the city who have never learned because they didn't feel they needed to.

My aunt is 76 and has incredibly thick hair. She always did and she simply didn't lose much with age. My mother always had thinner hair and it is significantly thinner with age. It's not unheard of for a woman to maintain thick hair, but it less likely. At the same time, that is some exceptional hair on Jackie. Her hairstyle fills me with joy. It's just so over the top but she embraces it. She's one of those people who picked a style and is not going to change it no matter how out of style it is. I don't know if it's a wig or if it's hers, but it is both hysterical and glorious to me. To your question, the colon is quite long. Losing a section of the size needed for a colon vaginoplasty would not have any noticeable affect on the ability to process food. The recovery from intestinal surgery is uncomfortable which is something Jazz would need to be prepared for. I don't like when any reality shows decide to show therapy sessions. Clearly Jazz needs to go to therapy. It would help her overall to have someone to speak to that cannot share things with others and doesn't already have ideas of what her issues are. As stated, she needs the sign off for surgery also. It is not really appropriate for her to see her cousin. It's not illegal but would you want to run into your therapist at a family event? Teenagers are already awkward. Why add to it? She would probably be best with a therapist who treats teens.

Ramona was full on crazy-eyed when talking at Betheny. She is like a cartoon. I always worry her eyes are going to pop out of her head and roll away.

Dear Paul for Sprint, I don't believe people ask you why you switched to Sprint. We all know why you switched. Money. You were offered money. You were offered enough money that it was in your best interest to switch. You having more money from these commercials does not make you less of a jackass. You are increasingly unappealing and off-putting. If I could afford to, I would pay you to go far, far away and never appear on TV again. (Yes, I saw a few too many Paul for Sprint commercials today.)

Jazz does seem to not fully understand the work required post surgery of this nature. Even though she is young and healthy, the healing process is slow and painful. It takes time for scars to heal and she will need significant care during the healing period. She seems to think she will have the surgery and immediately have a beautiful vagina. As it is, vulvas have varied appearances. I doubt she has enough knowledge about basic anatomy to understand the natural variations. I know she's joking when she says she wants "America's next top vagina," but regardless it doesn't seem like she has researched to any significant level. She is somehow both very much in the public eye and very sheltered. If she is really going to pursue this (not TV pursue this), the doctor will need to clearly set her expectations. Also, her therapist would want to help with that. Depression following major surgery is common, regardless of the type of surgery. As is so often the case, her father seems to be the one who wants to think things through and take them slowly. Jazz and her mother are more likely to want to jump right in. I would hope that this early push toward surgery is more of a TV thing and that they will take their time so she can get the best possible care and be better prepared.

Given the discussions regarding the colon vaginoplasty and the penile inversion vaginoplasty in the episode, I am adding this link to a website that accurately details the difference. This includes animated drawings of the procedures: Vaginoplasty. This may help answer some of the questions that have been raised in the episode threads. It does concern me when people talk about "open wounds" or get into details of care for post-surgical transgender persons if they are relying solely on information found on the internet. As with most things, there is a lot of misinformation. I am cisgender, but I am also a speaker for an LGBTQ speakers bureau and often, with transgender and non-binary colleagues, address issues regarding transitioning. Also, I have been intimate with several transgender and non-binary persons and have helped friends when they were healing from surgery. This forum is about the show, so I don't feel it is appropriate to go into detail about the surgeries here. If anyone wants to PM me, please do. If your questions are respectful and inquisitive, I will answer.

I am going to continue the discussion of vaginoplasty in the Questions and Educational Links thread.

If I've learned nothing from WebMD, I've learned that headache = brain tumor and everything else = cancer. Whatever is causing the headaches - migraines, stress, seasonal allergies, aneurysm, looking at Madison's constipation face, being close enough to Nick to smell his hair - it will ultimately kill the old man, unless Madison finds a way to kill off all of the compound members first.

One of the greatest suspension of disbelief things for me is all of the people who decide to open up to Madison. I know she was a school counselor so she should have skills to help people. But this is Madison. We've seen her fine emotional skills. We also see her decide to trust Troy to control himself. She's never seen him control himself. In fact, she's seen the exact opposite. But ooh, she gave him a stern taking to. That'll fix his psycho killer tendencies. Troy will be A-Okay (for about 30 seconds). And junkie Nick is suddenly the voice of reason. And these folks must be able to manufacture bullets the way they go through them. Or they're just dumbasses that are going to run through their ammunition. And they're able to keep shooting off guns without any dead hearing and strolling their way. Why do I torture myself with this show?

When the actor who plays Jake said there was a lack of human connection, I immediately thought, "In every scene that Madison is in." So they were clearly desperate for people to talk Fear; case in point - Snookie. What rock did they lift to find her?

Joe ha a round baby face and his hair tends to fall forward, looking like bangs. He looked more traditionally masculine near the end when his face thinned out more and he started showing his age. There were times when he looked really worn. He also has the voice of someone with swollen or irritated adenoids. And he is soft spoken. Quite frankly, I know many men that have his type of face and voice so I didn't fall into the "He's a girl!" camp. He's a baby-faced man who made a feminizing-appearance hair choice. As far as finances go, this show really annoys me. They enjoy playing up the whole not working angle, even if people are working. Sarah is employed. She works at Target. Joe had been working in IT. In earlier seasons they didn't talk about some people's work because it was considered unseemly. Now it has become a bit of a standard to let everyone assume that no one in the family works because it is not said if they do. Joe needed to find local work after he moved. The job he got was at the low end of IT, but he landed something. Given how he does stand out as having physical issues, he would have a much harder time finding work than most people. That is the unfortunate nature of job hunting. Pauline's teeth were frightening. Dang. There is a strong chance the Texas Tooth Lady gave away free services to be featured on the show. We'll see how those caps hold up. The big question is, now that Pauline can get to the bathroom, will she brush her teeth or is that not on her goals list? See dolphins, travel, put on pants by self, learn to brush teeth. I would like to have her add get Dillon a decent hair cut. He has enough challenges being her son. No need to announce them all up front.

As with some other people on this show, I think Milla had several things making it much harder for her to stand. Contributing factors were how she carries her weight. When she had that enormous hanging lymphedema on the bottom of her stomach, she would need a lot of muscle to pull that up. After that was removed, she had been down for so long that she had little muscle mass left. She has much more weight to lift than most of us do, Her hip tendons would be damaged from too much time spent on her back with her feet splayed. While we can say much of this was of her own doing, they are still serious issues she needs to contend with. She seemed so joy-filled when she could stand and then walk in the water. It was the extreme version of what the PT suggested, getting help carrying the weight. I have had injuries that have made it difficult to move. It is remarkable how quickly I can lose muscle mass and sense of balance, and I do not have Milla's extreme weight issue. While it does disturb me to see her children helping with her personal care, they seem loved and they clearly love her. Yes, it would be much better of they did not have to help care for her because of her obesity. With time, she may be able to care for herself. And yes, it took her two years to lose 275 lbs. She was losing at a rate that most people would be very happy with. Of course, this does not meet the kind of weight loss levels that Dr. Now wants to see from these extremely obese people. At the same time, it is a safer rate of weight loss. She has a long way to go, but for her sake and the sake of her children, I hope she continues to do well and can ultimately become more mobile.

Of course tourists are simulating sex with Selena's wax figure. Why the heck is she bent over with her hand out? Richard talking about masturbation was hilarious. He is such a great character. He is always so sincere, especially when repeating something horrible someone has said to Selena.

That was the strangest episode ever. Seriously. Wow, Matt had a truly terrible day, but at least he is at peace with his impending death. In fact, he's so at peace that watching a man be attacked by a lion didn't phase him at all. He was already disturbed. Now he is batshit crazy. I am going to be parsing that episode for awhile. Or maybe I'll just accept that our gang ends up on a sex cruise with a lion and non-hilarity ensures.

Selena's cruelty to Gary was over the top, but it did give us Gary on the stairs with the box. Tony Hale is so brilliant at physical comedy. This was the second week in a row with great background moments from Gary. Jonah's ability to turn his rageaholic incompetence into a political career is a sad form of continuity. Kent's "saving, it is neither plural nor possessive" had me rolling. He was so perfectly deadpan while Jonah got all amped up. I enjoyed the way we saw Mike's automatic denial of something based on hearing a few words of a reporter's question turning into a news story. That seems about right.

That's an ad for KPMG consulting services. I'm fairly sure they're selling time with pompous douchebags. You also get to buy their dinner at The Porterhouse.

I kept wondering if Selina was ever going to notice that Gary has ll of the info for the book.