SnarkEnthusiast

Pete looks like he's doing harder drugs every week. I know he's said it's only weed, but...idk man. Ariana could fund anything.

Lol! I'm in the camp where I think David Schwimmer is Ross in everything he does. To me, it's just a Ross 10 years after the divorce. Just as smug and neurotic, there's no nuance. I think he has the exact same problem as people complain about with Jennifer Aniston acting like Rachel or vice versa, you just don't hear people complain about him because he's a man and hasn't really been cast in as much high-profile stuff as Jennifer post Friends. Watching him here is just like watching some weird fan fiction crossover where Ross and Grace meet in a coffee shop and then spend the weekend having melancholy escapist sex to distract themselves from their disillusionment. Jack's numbing cream plot would have been fine without the detail of his boyfriend's dad having a stroke. That part was just distasteful. Also, I'm disappointed that the writers insist on keeping his boyfriend such a one-dimensional caricature, because the actor is wonderful in his own content and very inclusive when it comes to identities. Karen's C plot barely got any screen time – I guess it happened offscreen? That was really weird narrative structuring. In my opinion it should have been the B plot. Eric McCormack looked sexy as hell.

Although the opening was sweet, this was a very underwhelming episode for me. First of all, I'm very distracted by the supreme fakeness of America's new false pregnancy belly. For Dina, suddenly hauling around a cartoonishly fake belly makes sense with the absurdity of her character and the plot, but Amy/America's belly didn't even look half that size when she was pregnant in real life. I guess they really are finally fully committed to Amy and now possibly Jonah raising her ex-husband's kid, which I'm not thrilled about and never have been. I was hoping that if they were dead set on the pregnancy, they will pull a last-minute plot twist and say the original test was a false positive and over the break she had found out she was actually pregnant with Jonah's baby. Very far-fetched I know, but still preferable in my opinion to a main character getting knocked up by an estranged spouse who is basically a glorified background extra. I have no desire to see awkward love triangle coparenting – I see enough of that on Teen Mom! someone in the cast or writers room must be friends with the actor who plays Amy's husband, because I really don't see the point in keeping him around. I feel like the coparenting scenario is just keeping the door open for really cheap love triangles in the future. Everything else is great, but I really can't tell you how much I'm dreading this storyline and a baby is forever so I guess we're stuck with it the rest of the series. Frankly I'm just hoping we hardly ever see the baby because that would be the best possible solution. Noam is a terrible addition and a comedic lead balloon. Can you even work at 14? Following up Amy's (justified) soapbox about female sexual empowerment with jokes about her Sexually harassing a minor was not great. All in all, kind of a meandering episode just to establish that Amy and Jonah are keeping their relationship a secret. But Jonah's smile when he leans in to kiss Amy makes me melt every time. Ben Feldman really knows how to play different nuances of romantic feelings.

I'm going to miss Rowan Blanchard as Adam's girlfriend. They had a really sweet, unabashedly dorky chemistry together. I was hoping they brought the new girl in just to break them up and write off the character, so I was disappointed that they reconciled lol. The actress was fine, but she looks too coiffed and Hollywood Teen to be with Adam. I appreciate The Goldbergs' commitment to casting "regular looking" people that you'd actually see in suburbia, so it was jarring to see a girl who looked like she just walked off a Disney Channel set playing a character we've known for a few seasons. It just won't be the same, especially with Geoff/Erica and Barry/Laney around for contrast. Although you can chalk it up to Adam's general social struggles, Sean Giambrone definitely seemed a bit awkward with the new girl haha Geoff's earnest joy in learning how to cook for Erica was heartwarming. The "You want your wife to be your mom?" exchange between him and Barry was the funniest part of the ep. Erica sure carries a ton of emotional weight in the plots for being the only character not based off of a real person or events. How do they mine so much material from her when she never actually existed?

Let's just say there's a reason why "your daughter calls me Daddy too" is a meme now, especially when referring to someone's transformation from meek/nerdy/wholesome to bangable.

I think also a lot of the pushback has come from the sexualization of the word "Daddy" in the last 8-10 years by teens and 20-somethings, so now many people associate it with kinky dynamics. When someone hears an adult call their father Daddy, many project an uncomfortable closeness, ownership, or even outright incestuous subtext (Lauren and her dad) because it's been popularized as a cheeky nod to your sexual dynamic or appetites, especially dom/sub. Obviously this new development has been distressing for those who have called their fathers Daddy for decades out of wholesome affection lol (which is clearly the case with Lauren). Daddy has a whole new meaning now!

Nutsa is hot, but her baby voice is annoying. What a surprise, Bria and Zak act like selfish assholes ignoring the rules! Why did they even go along with Bria volunteering Zak for that date when Nutsa flat out said she wasn't into him? It's obvious she was just trying to get alone time with Zak and stir up shit with Zak/Morgan. She doesn't even give a shit about finding her match, all she cares about is her petty high school rivalry with Morgan. Bria/Zak are a confirmed non-match, so why are they still taking up 75% of screen time and dictating the dynamics of the house? I wish they could be voted out!

In Amber's defense, I don't think I could have sex with someone 50 nights in a row and not have feelings. She's using sex to compensate for emotional intimacy. Yeah, her anxiety and insecurities are grating as hell, but it does seem like all Dave does is pick apart her flaws or why they're incompatible until the next time he wants to get laid.

Fair, but why not just "Mom/Mama/etc."? Why something so odd? lol

Why was Tristan's mom in his phone as "Woman"?

You've got to have sex with someone! I personally don't get all the rumors that Josiah is gay, because all I see when I look at him is socially awkward virgin. It was like a seventh grade boy trying to muster up the right reactions to his girlfriend at a dance, complete with awkward and poorly timed kiss.

As someone who was eagerly awaiting Janzo/Talon romantic progression all season, this...wasn't what I was hoping for. Janzo's character has bothered me a bit because the writers are so obnoxiously hellbent on every scene with him screaming BETA MALE! to the point where he's embarrassingly cartoonish. Their dynamic has always been a little patronizing on Talon's end, so I was skeptical to see how they would turn it into a genuine connection without humiliating Janzo. Really, Talon runs directly in from finding Gwynn and Garrett in bed to leading Janzo on with "you're twice the man he is, blah blah." If they're going to go the love triangle route, I need to believe that Talon has actual feelings for Janzo and he's not going to be some pathetic delusional nitwit Talon uses to lick her wounds when Garrett pisses her off. And then comparing him to her brother immediately after they kissed? Ouch!

Oh God, if she is a regular we will never get rid of her. Nothing against the actress, but her character is the absolute worst. The only way I would tolerate her as a love interest is in a Claire/Shaun/Lea triangle at the end of the season where Claire wins and Lea goes away forever. Wishful thinking, I know. Thank you for being so articulate and eloquently stating my points in a way that I was too annoyed to do at the time lol. I agree with your entire post but especially the bolded, which is why I've never really been able to get behind Shaun/Lea. She doesn't act like she's attracted to him, he's just a curiosity for her to play with whenever she gets bored. When you actually view someone as a potential romantic partner, you treat them as a peer, not as some kid you're letting sneak their hand into the proverbial cookie jar (...bad metaphor here). Their dynamic on that road trip felt like a divorced alcoholic mom trying to spoil her son before she goes on her next bender. Infantilizing your partner isn't sexy!! That's why I think that Claire would be the best suitable endgame for him because she's getting to know him in a professional setting and she does actually regard Shaun as her peer. I'm thinking the big Hershey reveal was intentionally saved for next week. I'm sure it will be something sad or traumatic to completely justify her unannounced couch surfing and make Shaun look like as much of a petty asshole as possible.

I have so many issues with the Shaun/Lea plot. As a disclaimer for my possible overinvestment, I have a disability as well – not autism, but cerebral palsy. Their dynamic cuts way to close too the bone for me personally. I hate the idea that disabled people should automatically worship any able person that gives them the time of day because they must automatically be inherently kind or generous at their core for going out of their way to treat us like humans, when it's usually just them treating us like community service or exploiting our emotions for their own personal gain. Case in point, Lea just reappears without warning after months and like we predicted, starts squatting in Shaun's apartment immediately, probably because she knew that he's too nice to say no and that he's been starved of affection and back to his hermit lifestyle since she left. No explanation, just back to coy and cutesy flirting like nothing happened because she wants something from him. Then, Claire absolutely oversteps her boundaries by telling Shaun how he should treat Lea and argues that she doesn't deserve his coldness because she's been "nothing but nice to him." I can't tell you how much I despise this argument. It never seems to matter how manipulative or self-motivated able people are or what they've done – they've been nice at times! Beggars can't be choosers! Apparently disabled people's feelings don't matter and they should come running whenever the able person snaps their fingers. Claire could not have been any more patronizing in that scene and it drove me up the wall to watch her scold Shaun like a toddler. Shaun is not a child. You are not his mother. He is an adult capable of making his own decisions regarding relationships. And the cherry on top of the turd sundae - the reveal in the teaser for next week that Shaun is actually being the unreasonable jerk who needs a stern talking to from blameless Saint Lea! Because "innocent looking disabled person is actually an asshole" isn't a totally overdone ableist trope. Notice that we are only in the wrong or acting irrationally when we try to hold able people accountable for their actions or dare to have negative emotions towards them. Putting my personal feelings aside, just from a narrative perspective, why exactly are we supposed to feel bad for Lea in this scenario? Because Shaun didn't disrupt his entire life and fawn all over her when she re-materialized out of the ether looking for a rent-free place to live? Because he isn't spending his every waking moment sitting in the apartment waiting for her to acknowledge him? Last I checked, she's been crashing at his place every night with no questions asked, but that's apparently not enough because his tongue isn't halfway up her asshole in gratitude for her return. I hate this plot and I hate Lea even more. I have a bad feeling she's going to gaslight Shaun into apologizing to her and probably take his virginity to solidify her hold on him. And she will still somehow find a way to make herself the victim when their relationship deteriorates ("I know you have autism but that doesn't justify you not communicating with me!!!" UGH). She can't leave soon enough.

I still think that, especially in today's social media age and if you meet someone after middle/high school/college, physical attraction is about 75% of any relationship, at least initially. Someone can be as sweet and supportive as you could possibly imagine and give you everything you want in terms of emotional intimacy, but if you're not physically attracted to them, you'll never consider them as a romantic partner. The whole idea of pursuing someone or being pursued is just putting yourself in competition with your own ego and trying to prove to yourself you can get someone that's out of your league. Rachel's self-esteem took a hit after the baby weight. I'm sure she routinely ignored men when she had a tiny waist and DD boobs. Her juvenile infatuation with Jon is an extension of when she was a hot 20 something. She still has the sense of entitlement, but with new insecurities. She just wants to show that she's still got it and get dicked down by eye candy with a sexy accent. She also: Darcey and Stacey.

This is basically a summary of Cate's last decade and the growing delusion that they could've kept Carly and shared their current married life and financial stability with her will continue to feed her downward spiral into depression and further corrode her already tense, bitter relationship with Brandon and Theresa.

I genuinely don't know what's left for Cate to do. I'm not even being sarcastic. She complains about her depression all the time, but what else is there to do? She's on medication, goes to (albeit laughably inadequate) therapy, and has visited a live-in treatment facility for weeks multiple times. She indulges in unhealthy coping mechanisms like binge eating, sleeping, and smoking cigarettes and weed. She has zero interest in parenting Nova at best and at worst seems to actively avoid her because of the painful reminders of what could've been with Carly. She also hates being away from her because of her anxiety that she's abandoning her like her mom did and because she doesn't want criticism for being a crappy mom. She talks endlessly about how Tyler is her emotional rock and pulling all the weight of the marriage, yet apparently spends all their time together preemptively guilt tripping him for leaving her in the future or having any negative emotions about the situation in general at all. No matter what she does or doesn't do, she just seems determined to passive aggressively ruin every aspect of her life through sheer apathy So that she can then blame everyone else for allowing her to do nothing and be consumed by depression. If I knew her in real life or especially if I were Tyler, I would find a person like that incredibly hard to deal with especially in a marriage or parenting context because it's a lose lose situation and the mental illness card will always be played to gaslight you into feeling like an asshole. It's a recipe for manipulation. In his defense, all they ever do is talk about and react to and try to treat her mental illness and endlessly strategize about how everyone can best walk on eggshells around Cate. I know that depression and anxiety can be tremendously overwhelming to anyone, but there is a definitive difference between coping with it and letting it become your entire personality and singular identity trait.

My favorite part of the ep was Jer's horrified face as the birth coach "pretended to be in labor" but actually looked and sounded as if she was having an Earth-shattering orgasm. Wedding nights with these hapless, repressed manboys must feel like 20 seconds of a bee stinging the inside of your vagina, because you know none of these assholes have heard of foreplay. I'd wager that it takes a good 2-3 attempts for them to even last long enough to get inside her, let alone make it pleasurable.

Aimee didn't even know if Scotland was a country this week.... These girls keep getting more aggravating every week. Now Aimee? Who physically assaults their roommate (while sober!) because they're mad their dinner reservation is too early? Gus is right, Aimee throws temper tantrums like a 3-year-old. And if we're honest, Aimee was acting like her face would melt if it saw the light of day without her gobs of Trump-orange highlighter, but she didn't look any different than usual. You're on a free vacation within your free vacation, just shut up, comb your hair, and go out.

It's really weird for me to watch him coparent a baby with a new girl I've never seen. I've never seen him on the challenge but I watched him all the way back in 2014 when he was on The Real World: Ex-plosion and he spent the whole time having shower sex with a bleached blonde girl and then when they brought in his ex-girlfriend to live with them he got back together with her with very little fighting. It's bizarre to think that almost 5 years later he's still dipping his dick in the MTV reality show pool and now has a child to show for it. He is cute, but he does seem like a sleazy noncommittal player. His absolute devotion to Ryder is adorable though. Bristol is who Farrah envisions herself to be in her mind's eye, if that makes sense. She's like a more composed, stable Farrah. Cheyenne, in spite of getting pregnant as a certified adult, is very immature and annoying.

Well, I'm sure MTV is thrilled by this arrest announcement on the same day of their massive TM rebranding relaunch! Why not continue with Cate, Amber, and Maci? Add Mackenzie if you must. But Bristol doesn't even go here and makes even less sense than AYTO girl, imo.

Seeing Stacey's boyfriend was also weird because it was like seeing a real life version of what Darcey imagines Jesse looks like to everyone else. He was actually pretty hot. I'm sure they will be tapped for next season if Jesse gives up the famewhore train. I wonder why it always has to be international guys? You would think there will be plenty of young American fitness buffs looking for cougars.

Rome Flynn is fucking gorgeous. That said, feels a bit on-the-nose replacing Wes with another biracial black guy with ambiguous connections to Annaliese. Hopefully she won't have creepy unresolved sexual tension with him too. I think Bonnie as his mom will turn out to be a red herring and that he's somehow Annaliese's son that she thought was dead. Maybe the reason that Frank immediately recognized Gabriel is because he smuggled him out of the hospital or something. I'm disappointed that something as awesome as Connor/Oliver's wedding has to be marred by another murder tonight. I know many here aren't happy with Oliver as a character, but let's face it, they are all assholes at this point. I've been sick of Saint Laurel since Wes' murder, but she really lost me for good when she essentially raped Frank during her pregnancy nymphomania and it was never brought up again and were somehow still supposed to believe that Frank is madly in love with her. The only one who's not problematic is Christopher, but even he's technically an accessory to murder now and he's not even out of diapers LOL these people truly do redefine toxic. Looks like they're setting up Asher's anger issues again to make him the next murderer. Frankly, his rage has terrified me since he ran over that lady.

overuse of "girllllll," asking 21-year-olds for graphic sex details about 45-60-year-olds, blatantly thristing over Tarik's brother, making sure Stacey and the entire audience knew she's travelled to Albania, trying to insert herself into every segment, etc.

Also, the 30something host of 90 Day Live was trying WAY too hard to act like a 19-year-old basic bitch.