SnarkEnthusiast

She serves no other purpose than to be an empty roadblock to delay Will/Angie inevitably getting together. That's it. The reason she sucks and their relationship feels like nothing is because the writers never bother fleshing out the romantic false lead beyond using them to briefly guilt trip the single one (Angie) for realizing they have feelings for someone in a relationship and causing a temporary rift. Every sitcom does this with their main romance to the point where I'm wondering if the same writers write every show. Friendship first season, one dates someone else first half of season 2, they realize they have feelings for each other and hook up sometime in the second half, dating by season 3. As a hopeless romantic, I usually can't get enough of the fake dating trope, but Will/Angie kind of fell flat for me, maybe because Taran/Leighton have a really strong best friend chemistry, but I don't really buy the romantic tension between them and it feels like a case where they feel like the leads have to date for the sake of it. Comparable sitcom romances like Nick/Jess on New Girl and Jake/Amy on Brooklyn Nine Nine had genuine moments of dramatic and believable sexual tension within the general campiness of the usual show, and Nick and Jake were also goofy dudes. Time will tell I guess. That's usually how shows do it with the alpha and beta couple - the secondary couple gets together first and then breaks up as the primary couple finally ends will they/won't they. With that said, I hope not because they've already said they're in love and revealed their relationship to their kids, plus they had the heart attack drama at the beginning of the season. I hope the writers will leave them alone.

Nice seeing Demi Lovato out there doing acting again! She's struggled terribly with addiction the past few years and has been in and out of rehab, so her line about being clean made me wince. It feels like every episode is so random - Will gets a surrogate! AnnieCon! Karen fucks a random war vet! - and it does make me scratch my head for how they're going to end the series.

That's my main problem with this season - it feels like a less interesting recast and recycle of everything but Penn.

This past episode was the most boring one yet. Nothing happened. Sure, Magdalina is definitely out of Ryan’s league, but I don’t understand why that was so shocking to everyone given that 90% of Instagram models date the blandest white men imaginable. Ryan is the most uninteresting person on the show. All that dramatic hoopla about Laurel’s “return” when they just used her to film one video announcement. Yawn. I surprisingly felt bad for Daniel going home. I wish they had voted Allie out instead. I don’t understand Daniel as a person and I especially don’t understand his head scratching career choice to spend all his time going on multiple dating shows when I’ve never seen a more awkward person care so little about hook up culture and yet be repeatedly cast to float like an asexual log in a sea of horny sexpots. Does he just not want to go back to his job or something? I guess I can understand why he was originally cast for having a good body by conventional definition, but what about him continues to be so appealing to casting agencies whose sole purpose is to find people that other people would want to have sex with? Allie is clingy and over dramatic and ruining her chances of turning a fun fling into something more. Callum and Georgia are on the same co-dependent teen frequency, so their relationship works. Allie wants a title after a few days and Niall just wants to get it in. He’s always been honest about what he wants and I don’t think he’s leading her on, she’s just being desperate. They should’ve sent her home while they had the chance. Niall confiding in Callum and Georgia before giving them an awkward three-way hug was hilarious. He doesn’t give a shit about any of their drama or Romeo and Juliet bullshit or his past relationship with Georgia and I love it. He’s easily my favorite person in the house.

My overall take away from this episode was that five couples is probably too many. I had totally forgotten about the other two by the end and neither of them really seem that interesting to me so far. I’m honestly kind of annoyed that we have to waste another episode pretending that one of them might run away and general ceremony awkwardness. I don’t understand Meka’s breakdown about her dress being too big- it looks fine and if you were worried about cleavage, you shouldn’t have gone with the strapless dress! Austin’s stock went way up for me this episode. He was damn charming. I gained a lot of respect for Jessica too. When the camera pointedly zoomed in on Austin’s baby face and blond hair when she was describing her type of guy (which ironically sounded exactly like Derek) I was bracing for a full on Jamie style meltdown. I was pleasantly surprised that she seemed totally unfazed that he wasn’t physically her type normally and was instead super attracted to his kindness and sense of humor as the night went on. Actual maturity, who would’ve thought! Although this show keeps producing weirdly codependent identical twins that have inferiority complexes about their sisters accomplishments, so I guess I will reserve my opinion until we see how that plays out. On the opposite side of the spectrum, my opinion of Brandon totally took a nosedive. I don’t know if it was because he accidentally got too drunk before the ceremony (warning your new wife you reek of hard liquor is never promising, let alone a good first impression) or he collapsed under the anxiety of the day, but he gave off corny fuckboy vibes the whole episode. His interactions with Taylor were painful and sounded like an older sister trying to pry information out of her detached little brother. And she’s six years younger than him! That was just embarrassing. He seems like kind of a stick in the mud and she’s too type A for him. I already think they’re doomed because she’ll get bored of mothering him. Katie continues to be immature and annoying as fuck. So she basically doesn’t regret ditching tinder dude because Derek turned out to be hot. She also talks like a 15-year-old “he’s super cute and we’re like, holding hands!” Bleh. I thought it was a weird choice by her family to drop the diabetes bombshell in a cutesy line about her being bitchy but he doesn’t seem bothered by it so whatever. I want Derek for myself. I wonder how he will react when tinder dude inevitably comes up in conversation. ETA: I had totally forgotten about Brandon's bizarre homophobic/transphobic rambling about being glad Taylor "wasn't a dude" and then high-fiving Taylor when she confirmed she doesn't have a penis...yikes...why would you even bring that up? What a juvenile, insecure loser.

La Demi is right - what is this, the Callum and Georgia show? Their collective past and all their drama is exhausting. How does Georgia even have such an extensive, explosive dating history at 21?! I have mixed. complex feelings about La Demi and Callum's friendship in particular. On one hand, talk about hidden depths and he is very sweet to her. But on the other hand, both Georgia and especially Callum's relationship with her feels a bit patronizing. I'm disabled and from personal experience, trans and disabled people have a lot in common when it comes to dating. Either people are flat out repulsed by you or they're fetishists but mostly you're constantly starved for any affection whatsoever. And over time you wind up with well-intentioned "friends" who, whether they pity you or want you to be a learning experience for them or want to congratulate themselves on how open-minded they are. wind up stringing you along and ultimately really hurting you because they provide all these moments of emotional intimacy with zero chance of reciprocating anything. I've gotten the whole "You're so smart and beautiful and such an amazing person and anyone would be lucky to have you [but oh god, anyone but me]" monologue dozens of times. Doing cutesy things like wearing her necklace only amplifies his mixed signals. Frankly I just think people enjoy dating levels of adoration from someone they not only don't have to date, but get automatic praise from for basic kindness, both directly from us and from people patting them on the back. "I'm an example that straight guys CAN accept and love her!!!" Sure, but you know you don't love her like that and that's what she's pining for, so maybe ease off the kudos a bit. La Demi isn't a helpless wounded baby deer. Callum and Georgia are being condescending by claiming to be protecting her from Sam because she's "vulnerable" (read: trans and therefore not attractive to the mainstream...thanks guys). You don't give a shit about La Demi, you just hate Sam. Stop pissing all over her like she's your property and let her get some mediocre dick. She's an adult who can make that mistake on her own. Oh Niall! At least you're getting exactly what it says on the tin with him. He seems like he would be an immature pain in the ass to date, but a fun ex to have, precisely because he's not a serious emotional dude and doesn't seem bothered by heavier stuff like drama and betrayal, which is why he's the only one of Georgia exs who has a positive relationship with her. I'd rather watch more of Sydney trying to seduce Daniel than watch the ego black hole that's Nicole get any more attention. It's peak Nicole to call Sydney wife goals and then in the same breath basically admit she'd drop her in a second for Ashley. We'll see if Sydney goes full Laurel when Ashley shows up. Probably not though, because she's weirdly emotionally detached like Daniel.

Yes! You would think she would have more self-awareness and social awareness than to be angsting over an obvious Tinder douche like an insecure 16-year-old. Despite the show's narrative for her, you're not ready for marriage if you signed up to a reality show in a half-assed attempt to make your non-committing booty call jealous. Katie also gives off strong alcoholic vibes, even though that's probably not the case with her diabetes. Between Austin and Walmart Ashton especially (Derek), it's going to be a distracting season. I feel Austin's pain - I'm 28 but look 18 because I'm thin and short with adult acne, lol. Derek's actually pretty hot, as are Brandon and Taylor.

Agreed that these brothers are like a bizzarro world version of Assantes (down to the gay/straight thing) where they're kind people who are supportive and loving towards each other. Lonnie definitely still mothers John, but in a very cute way. That little boy was a very sweet soul. It worked out for John that he inherited a built-in family unit since he (was?) apparently incapable of sex. Sex isn't everything and I know lots of people don't mind not having it or they're asexual, etc. but Amber didn't sound like one of those people. Where do all these men in particular keep finding wives ok with zero physical affection beyond quick pecks from day one? Fat women never seem to have a problem and I know they have those sex pillow things or whatever. I hope everyone is just too polite too say "but we still do hand and mouth stuff." If your spouse is unhappy and you're not doing anything, that's on you.

So, the casting apartment is just trolling for anyone with the slightest social media following now? Lol I would not expect long hair short dude to be a...Twitch streamer? I thought you had to be a hot girl under 25 or a gamer bro to do that. Yay for the first same gender couple!!! I've been waiting for that for years. Falling in love with someone internationally via social media is almost a rite of passage for lesbians under 30. A chronically ill YouTuber/camgirl falling in love with a girl with rainbow hair she's never met living 8000+ miles away is just *chef's kiss* peak millennial lesbian/bisexual culture.

Eh, I see both sides. Laurel was stuck on Nicole, but this show is built on dredging up toxic relationships and triggering people with them, so I'm not sure why she got the crazy ex edit complete with everyone piling on her when they've all acted that way. From Laurel's side, I can see how it would be frustrating to have someone you're either still into or trying to move on from (supposedly) popping up every five minutes to call you stinky and remind you they hate you. I think it just broke her brain to realize how little Nicole gave a shit about her. To your second point, apparently both simultaneously it seems! This kind of feels like a winter redo of the latest season of AYTO, with a few token straight people. I was surprised Sydney announced her interest in Nicole. So Niall only likes Allie because she's small and he thinks her tiny hands would make his dick look bigger during handjobs? How does that scenario even pop into your head and how is that someone's main selling point? Allie: "I love everything about Niall! I just wish he lived closer." Niall: "tiny hand is gonna make penis look huge" Again, I wish people would realize cheating isn't normal or to be expected. Recognizing someone is attractive or even being physically attracted to someone is one thing, but if you're tempted enough to act on it, you shouldn't be with the person you're dating. You're not overwhelmed by sex appeal, you're just bored/self absorbed/horny but want to keep your partner as your emotional safety net. Callum and Georgia are predictably blowing up next episode, but we all knew it was doomed when they both started yammering about being in love after five days.

Tania's roommates were kind of annoying, albeit infinitely less so than Tania. As a white cis woman, I'm not sure if my opinion matters (genuinely, not being sarcastic), but I don't think Syngin being white or cis has anything to do with him being incompatible with Tania - she just lacks empathy and turns every problem or criticism into a social justice issue to avoid accountability. Interracial relationships can be very complex, but Tania's obsession with blaming every single unrelated dispute they have on Syngin being white is bizarre. It's almost like she's eagerly waiting for him to fail. Plenty of marginalized folks won't date people in the majority because they would never understand their experiences - which is totally fine! I just don't get why she would even bother dating a white guy when she's internalized the idea that his whiteness translates to irredeemable ignorance or a permanent character flaw. And since when does someone wanting to hear from you every day or, God forbid, make sure you're safe after a night of getting wasted translate to being clingy or immature? Tania's friends opining about how she couldn't be expected to raise or mother Syngin was condescending as fuck. Uhhh, hey assholes, she ditched him at home to be her live-in maid for a month while she parties and flirts with other dudes. Syngin dumping Jack Daniels in his coffee at the crack of dawn (???) and miserable Mama Tania harping on him for taking it from her made me concerned there's dueling drinking problems happening there.

Kind of early for a first look considering it doesn't air for five weeks! Look, I respect Jazz for being a public figure and sharing her experiences to help other trans youth, but the clip where she rambled on about maybe not even feeling like going to college because she's "lazy" and "school just isn't her thing" (direct quotes!) spliced in with her getting accepted to Harvard pissed me off. Gee, thanks for letting us know how little you give a shit because higher education just isn't your vibe, Privilege McEntitlement. Kids work their asses off and stress to the point of vomiting and mental breakdowns, not to mention piling on 12 sports/extracurricular/volunteering for four years and STILL get rejected from Harvard. They wouldn't even have read her application if she didn't have a TV show and a fat Instagram following. Harvard only wants the clout of pre-established celebrities. I thought the show ended last season...what's the point of Jazz's main arc revolving around the college choice when she's already announced she chose Harvard like 6 months ago? And another whole season of forcing this family to hear about their daughter/granddaughter/sister's vagina over every meal? Jazz talking about how Amir is gaslighting her into getting back together with him was concerning. Inviting him to the hospital is a terrible idea. I hope we see Noelle this season!

Niall, like Daniel, seems to be playing a character, but at least he's a garden variety fuckboy and not...whatever the fuck bodybuider reject mishmash of bad 80s movie tropes Daniel is. I was surprised Allie and Tyranny are both so into him and don't seem to mind that the other one is pursuing him...yet. Being not territorial is not on brand for this show. Callum is growing on me, even if him claiming Georgia is his soulmate made me roll my eyes. I really like La Demi's ex and it seems like she flew off the handle (surprise) at a PG cuddle than cheating. I love how the Jakk and this new guy are very nonchalant about being attracted to their partners regardless of gender expression. Then again, his "joke" about thinking La Demi would physically harm him while confronting him about the supposed cheating made me cringe. I don't see how catching your partner in the act makes it suddenly funny or socially acceptable to assault them. Again, La Demi has major anger issues and gives off abusive partner vibes. NICOLE IS THE ABSOLUTE FUCKING WORST. Seriously, fuck her. She was just sobbing over being exposed as a cheater because it blew her chance with Laurel and now she's hurling high school insults at her talking about how she's bad in bed and nothing compared to her other ex? Why don't you just pull her hair and call her a slut too, because apparently we're 15 now. Her incessant rant at Laurel about how she never really cared about her because as of yesterday she's smelly and ugly anyway and blah blah was a masterclass in gaslighting. Good on Laurel for ignoring her whiny ass. AND THEN Nicole has the audacity to freak out when someone suggested that maybe Laurel deserves better than being Nicole's emotional punching bag. Because even if Nicole doesn't want to date her, Laurel is banned from having any positive emotion or interaction unless Nicole decides it's allowed!!!!!! She's insufferable.

The timing of this Hallmark anti-lesbian scandal is richly ironic given that Holiday Date just premiered this weekend, starring Matt Cohen, who got his first big break on South of Nowhere, which revolves around the main character realizing she's a lesbian. He plays the on again off again boyfriend of her bisexual love interest and is in a love triangle with them the entire series. The girls end up together in the show, but Matt married the actress in real life.

Oh man, I felt for Allie when she was crying about being confused about her sexuality on top of realizing the object of that affection is a self-absorbed asshole. Been there! Nicole is obviously the type that gets off on flipping straight girls. How I wish Allie and Laurel would commiserate over what a douche Nicole is and hook up with each other instead. But no, they're going to buy into the high school rivalry and waste their time in fucking New Zealand pining for Nicole. Great. Sydney is a female Daniel. They have to be doing a bit, right? Real people don't act like that. I cannot believe they booted poor Megan to keep her robotic ass. It's only a matter of time before Callum cheats on Georgia. Marlon looks messy next week and I'm here for it. Although I'm disappointed because Jack seems nice and into Adore...but then again, you can only expect so much from a 22-year-old male model.

Fuck Barry. I am so over him and his zero social skills and waffling between oblivious meathead and Good Guy just to tease out this multi-decade love triangle from hell. His characterization is so bad. Is he a shitty boyfriend or not? When they made my TV husband Mellor spew that nonsense monologue of Goldberg propaganda about Barry being the Coolest Dude Ever, I rolled my eyes into the fucking sun. In the hospital, he looked like a frat boy stealing medical records. And how many variations are we going to get of "CB decides to make a move on Lainey but then runs into Barry and feels guilty and can't go through with it" because that's been like five episodes so far and remembering her relationship only seems to slow him down for a few episodes at most. I need a break because this plot just goes in circles. And Lainey hasn't even noticed or developed a crush yet, so there's not even tension. I still have my childhood Beanie Baby collection!

Barry is probably the worst character on any comedy I've watched, made 1000 times more irritating by the show's assumption that the audience finds his perpetual tantrums and asshole behavior hilarious and endearing. He's just.......next level grating. Is it because the actor sucks or because they think that's actually appealing? He's constantly terrible and inconsiderate to everyone. Exactly! The only way it makes sense that he's back with Lainey in Schooled is as an example of well-adjusted women wasting years of their lives on subpar men. As much as I adore Geoff, it's time for the writers to give him something to do beyond being the World's Most Perfect Boyfriend and Erica's live-in babysitter. His joy at being in the family photo was charming as hell, making Erica's attempts to sabotage him seem that much more douchey. Geoff is what the writers think Barry is.

I might be in the minority here, but I kind of wanted Liz and Dex to really have had sex because of actual chemistry between them and work through that. If they're going to throw 368 love triangles at us, Grey/Dex/Liz with Dex in the middle would be more interesting than Dex and Grey making everyone miserable with their repressed high school miscommunications and codependency or a forced pissing contest between Hoffman and Grey. Hoffman's partner is obviously into him, so let's just fast forward to that and Dex/Grey and be done. WTF was up with the spring season trailer being like "and EVEN MORE AWKWARD love triangles!" Please no, it's ruining the show. With that said, how convenient to reduce Liz to a mustache-twirling villain to ship her off the show. Way too fast and too easy. And it feels like some sort of sexual harassment crime to intentionally get someone blackout drunk to trick them into thinking they've had sex with you. I know Jake Johnson plays chill dudes, but his delivery during his big confrontation with Dex was underwhelming and in my opinion really lowered the stakes of the scene. He can seemingly only muster "mildly exasperated" when the script calls for negative emotion. Re: case of the week - as a millennial, it's interesting to watch Gen Z replace us in media as the target of generational ridicule. At least they went for bougie prep schools instead of the lazier targets like safe spaces and preferred pronouns. I thought Dex would either seduce the mom or the clearly gay softball coach because she's reached Don Draper levels of panty dropping. I half expect every scene of dialogue she has with anyone to end in sex. The "Ansel moves out" issue came out of nowhere, but good for him. Really enjoyed the show more when Dex wasn't dialed up to 11 with catatonic emo brooding all. the. time.

For what its worth, the marketing for Fleabag does the show a huge disservice by packaging it into clips that make it look like a comedy about a nymphomaniac trying too hard to be quirky or relatable, when she's actually struggling with the suicide of her best friend and massive self worth issues. Similarly, the season 2 premise of "Fleabag tries to seduce a priest" sounds slapstick or eyeroll inducing, but their relationship is easily one of my favorite romances on TV, ever, and absolutely destroyed me emotionally.

Even though it's used as cheap comedy, I enjoy the subtle throwaway insinuations that all the Dunphy kids are bisexual. Joe is the old Manny. They feed him all the weird hypermature niche lines Manny got as a kid. I wish he could take Manny's place.

I want one of those Pokemon jackets. This episode was giving me major flashbacks to being in elementary school in the late 90s-early 00s and the scandal when they were banned, lol. They are leaning in super hard to the Mellor as father figure to Toby subplots, given that he's only been dating his mom a few months at most.

shit, yeah, thanks for catching!

I have to say, as mind numbing and unhealthy as this show is, I have to give them major props for featuring multiple trans women/gender fluid people. The conversation where La Demi came out to Georgia was incredibly sweet and a great example of how to treat a trans person coming out with respect. Jack was also very warm and accepting of Adore. Georgia is quickly becoming one of my favorites. She's wasting her time with Callum. I guess she’s only 21 and if you’re attracted enough to someone, you’re willing to ignore or rationalize all the red flags. Even if she thinks he won’t treat her that way, his ex being a blubbering mess and talking about how he ruined her life would give me major pause, if for no other reason than because I wouldn’t want to end up like that. His ex (Heidi?) incessantly trying to get him to talk to her and jostling him around while he was clearly pretending to be asleep was bizarre and reminded me of a three-year-old trying to wake up her dad. I hate when fuckboys/girls say “Yeah I’m a player, but I would stop for the right person!“ No you wouldn’t, you’re just projecting the blame for your wandering eye on your partner by making them feel like it’s their fault. You could be dating someone who worships the ground you walk on, but there will always be someone hotter/younger/fitter/more forbidden to pursue. And they will, because the cat and mouse game of the chase is what gets them off. You can admit you don’t like monogamy and that’s fine and actually way more respectable and honest than playing with people's emotions for your ego and pretending that there’s some mythical person out there that could convince you to be monogamous, even though it conveniently never seems to be the person you’re with at the time. But sure, you could totally see yourself settling down with your new flavor of the week… Until three days after getting into their pants when boredom sets in again. Maple Daniel... I can’t even take his self designated role as the house shit stirrer seriously because it’s such an obviously fake TV villain persona. I can’t believe Callum took the bait with that. And it’s not even him starting rumors or creating fights – he just asked Heidi or whatever Callum’s ex is what happened, which to be fair is an atrocious and embarrassing story, and then Callum got mad because he was put on the spot in front of Georgia. Daniel just wanted to get a rise out of Callum and it worked. But it would have come out anyway probably in a few hours, so I don’t get it. That shot of him covered in maple syrup like a porno was absolutely disgusting by the way. And you know you’re getting a little old for the 20 something alcoholic fuck fest when other cast members start calling you Dad as an insult. That just goes to show how young and immature the rest of the house is though, because I think Daniel is 33 at most. These Instagram influencers think everyone turns into a bag of bones at 30. It did make me laugh when he was doing the age math to try and figure out if him pursuing Georgia would be creepy. I really like Ali too, but even on this show it doesn’t say much for her supposed career if the thing that she’s "known" for is being a Z-list child star on a children’s program I didn’t even recognize as a fellow 90s kid. What has she done as an adult? I don’t know why she even bothered with that “I’m mostly straight BUT” song and dance when she immediately beelined for the gayest looking woman in the group, lmao. La Demi and Nicole freaking out at Marlon and Laurel for flirting was rich. Nicole just had her tongue in Ali’s mouth five minutes ago!!! And La Demi told Marlon like 3 hours prior she wasn’t all in yet and he should keep exploring his options. But La Demi’s total rage fit, complete with overdramatic ice sculpture toppling that nearly injured Callum, was not only a massive overreaction but a warning sign of future abusive behavior in a relationship. Who flies off the handle like that because a guy you just met the day before and haven’t even hooked up with yet is drunkenly flirting with someone who you know is pining for someone else anyway? Hell, Ali wasn’t even phased when Emily physically shoved her off her lap to hide their flirtation from Laurel (Which was awful but hilarious). That wasn’t just horribly unattractive, that’s a neon sign of a red flag. He should stay far away from her.

I get the impression he and his ex-wife might still be together if it weren't for his douchey descent into the (supposedly) nouveau riche lifestyle combined with his midlife crisis.

Probably residual bad feelings from the breakup with his daughter / awkwardness on Pete's part. And if the post-Ariana mess is an indicator (blocking her on everything, passive aggressively implying on social media that he might kill himself and then refusing to see her when she rushed to check on him), Pete is apparently a massive, petty douchelord when it comes to breakups. And anyway, he's dating Cindy Crawford's daughter now, because I guess leagues aren't a thing anymore. She's an up-and-coming lesbian pop singer whose record label is tied to Harry Styles somehow - I'm thinking he pulled strings to get the gig for her because she's not exactly SNL's demographic. She's huge among queer girls 15 to 25ish. She's not even 21 yet and actually has a very good voice. She performs almost every concert stoned out of her mind (or while vaping) and her signature concert look is braless white tank, so this was by far the most sober and put together I've ever seen her. She looked great. I've met her briefly and she's very nice, so I really wish success for her.