I think the Commanders are allowed to have sex with their wives.
In Season1, when Janine is standing on the Bridge, she shouts something at her Commander like: "I did all the fucked-up shit she didn't do!" It sounds like he is having sex with his wife but not dirty sex - this is what he is having with Janine.
Besides that, I really loved the two first episodes of Season 2. Especially because they're not based on the novel and completely new for me. And the flashbacks, especially Emily's story, give me chills because they're so realistic and scary.