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Bethanne

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Everything posted by Bethanne

  1. I wouldn’t hold your breath. While you’re waiting, however, you might want to go over to Tubi and re-watch Trista’s season. Short, sweet, to the point, and girl handled her business like an adult. That 45 second moment while she sat there expectantly waiting for poor Peter to birth out his “I love you” told me everything I needed to know about this shrew. The biggest competitor in all of this isn’t one of the men, it’s Hannah.
  2. He reminds me of someone who has recently been recruited Into a skincare or cleaning products MLM company and is constantly spouting all of the woo “this is my why” bullshit and asking you to buy their moisturizer or clean your toilets with their microfiber cloth.
  3. Don’t get too excited for HannahG to be your perfect Bachelorette—she’s heading to BIP and will certainly find all goodwill she has extended to viewers unraveled there.
  4. I’m in Nashville this weekend staying at the Gaylord and there was this dude singing in the hotel bar last night that looked just like an older, heavier version of Jed. Now I’m wondering if the magic of TV made Jed look younger and thinner and it really WAS him that I saw in person...
  5. I honestly think she realized partway through the season that she didn’t want to end this all with a real fiancé. I think she is a girl who has led a relatively sheltered life, with few boyfriends, and once she started getting all of the male attention, realized that she actually is a hot number and has some good dating years left. I keep thinking back to that weird filler episode where CH basically talked her into staying. I think that’s why she kept Luke and Jed as long as she did, and why she never gave herself fully to some of those truly great guys like Mike, Tyler, and Peter. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if she knew all of Jed’s shit before the final episode was filmed and he was her cover. Get engaged, shit comes out, break the engagement, and Jed gets his own notoriety. Any press is good press, right? I think they were in on it together.
  6. Hannah reminds me of the group of people I hung out with in high school back in the 90s. We were all “Christians” who’d go to weekly Young Life meetings where we’d sing peppy songs about Jesus for an hour, listen to a preachy homily about purity from a creepy 30-year-old youth minister, and then go make out with cute boys in trucks in the Dairy Queen parking lot until our 10:30 curfews. We were so very special and clueless.
  7. What is the deal with the twins’ purple ringed eyes? They don’t look healthy. And that sweet Saylor seems like he just wants to sit with his Dad and watch a Braves game and be left alone, but he’s such a trooper, answering the producer questions and sweeping up baby crumbs off the floor. I’m sad for him.
  8. Oh my frick, you’re so frickin’ right.
  9. I can't stand how she says "Lawtvia." But I guess the upside is that she's not saying "Roll Tide" anymore. Luke totally has a micropenis (TM New Girl.) I can't fucking stand gaslighting and he is most definitely a textbook case. Yes. He is such a Bro, though--he was cracking me up when he had enough with Luke. He is a graduating senior Phi Kappa Alpha so over the idiotic incoming freshmen. Am I the only one questioning Hannah's "you aren't in charge of my body" trope? Girl better get the hell out of Alabama with that mindset.
  10. My husband and I just watched this episode last and are still laughing about Garrett’s line after Dina saw her sketched boobs and said he still wants to have sex with her. “I like to draw Garfield but I don’t want to have sex with him—I’m not Jon.”
  11. My first thought was that Hannah probably cares more about the girl wearing an Auburn hat than Jed having a girlfriend.
  12. Tyler and his bulging thighs in those tight white pants were literally the only worthwhile 15 seconds of that entire trash heap of an episode. Any trust I had that the producers were keeping to a somewhat realistic timeline was smashed to smithereens after this. That was the most awkwardly patched together mess of scenes I have ever watched.
  13. Well, to be fair, this is pretty much all of organized religion. The last time God sent a message the recipient didn’t want to hear was when a bound Isaac was hauled up the mountain by his dad, facing certain death. And even that ended happily ever after.
  14. It was really interesting watching Trista’s season that they’re running in the Tubi app prior to this one. The format has changed so much over the years. It’s unreal how they drag it out now, going from 30 to 24 to 20 to 16 to 12, etc. It’s so annoying how they feel like they have to end with these stupid manufactured cliffhangers and then start the next ep with the rose ceremony.
  15. He is a riot and way to good for this show. Wax that ass indeed. I hope not. He’s a whiny, low rent Justin Timberlake-looking baby.
  16. Yes, but it is a travesty that being two educated people, neither one made a Willy Wonka reference because that candy store was straight up Charlie Bucket.
  17. I’m totally picturing the final scenes of Carrie. Pig blood and all. Agreed. I imagine he smells like an Abercrombie and Fitch store. That was pretty natural and sweet. Although I don’t believe for a hot second that he and his Pops (love that, btw) are fans and watched Colton’s season of the Bachelor during his recovery. The giveaway was that Tyler called it the “Colton Bachelorette season.” I spent the two weeks prior to this season bingeing Trista’s season on Tubi. There are serious Trista-Ryan vibes with these two. I love their understated banter and joking. They remind me of me and my husband and our “that’s what she said” jokes.
  18. Yes!! I think he’s adorable. I seriously would have married someone on the spot for making that particular reference in the heat of the moment. Hannah would kill it as a flight attendant, actually. I can see them following that same path. I’m team Hannah-Peter. Dad-bod Grant reminds me of a less hot Kyle Chandler.
  19. Cassie is totally phoning it in. She reminds me of myself when I’m on a work call and my kids are trying to talk to me. Right there is the moment this show jumped the shark. Chris is totally making fun of it all. I enjoyed her jokes poking fun at the show and the process. “You guys need to step it up,” and “This has been my hardest decision so far.”
  20. But gee, golly, whiz, he likes nuts!
  21. Yeah, it’s like she’s following a script titled “How to be a Fun Girlfriend!” I imagine her parents and cool brother are completely embarrassed to be on this show.
  22. I’m pretty sure “knob of butter” is my favorite phrase in 8 weeks of threads this season.
  23. God, yes. He reminds me of my 6th grade daughter and her friends. It’s very obvious that he was a loner in middle and high school because he’s pretty much living it right now.
  24. When the other girls reacted to Hannah’s suitcase getting taken and the sound of Heather’s train leaving all I could think of was how the Hunger Games tributes reacted every time they heard the cannons and saw the dead tribute’s picture projected into the sky. The whole “is she ready to get engaged” thing is so stupid. Clearly there’s chemistry and you like each other. Just do the stupid show engagement and then stay engaged for two years while you date like Jordan and JoJo. Dumb.
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