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Izabela

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  1. Izabela

    S01.E03: Late

    I'm not sure why Aunt Lydia said Emily, except maybe to unnerve Emily some that she fully knew her past. Yeah, it's really horrible about the names, stripping them of their identity, which is always a huge issue in works of literature. I really have to read this book sometime because while tv and film can sometimes do very good, even great, renditions of literature, the books often have subtleties which can't be put on a screen. Still, this is definitely better than any movie could be. So much has already happened in 3 episodes, can you imagine trying to condense it down to a 2 to 2.5 hour movie?
  2. Izabela

    S01.E03: Late

    Yes! I remember now hearing that, but then I lost it thinking about the horrors of the episode. So her name is Emily. I won't think of her as Ofglen any more, but her true name of Emily.
  3. Izabela

    S01.E03: Late

    This episode is nightmare fuel. It also revealed some more backstory that helped with plausibility of this occurring. I was rather expecting how the commander's wife would turn on June (I want to use her name, not the name that has been assigned to her) when it turns out she's not pregnant. I think the point to remember is how diminished and dehumanized women are in this system. June is no more than something to bear a child, she's not fully human, fully feeling. She can be mistreated up to any point that doesn't damage the chances that she might bear a child. I wish I knew Ofglen's real name :( and not have to use that assigned name. Her scenes tore my heart apart and I find the worst in myself in how I hope Aunt Lydia has some horrible and painful ending in the future.
  4. Izabela

    S34.E07: What Happened on Exile, Stays on Exile

    For me, Sarah's words at the tribal council were one of the highlights. If there is one story I'm always on the lookout for, it's the stories of those who come into contact with minority groups, interact with them, and learn that they are people who deserve respect and kindness. Sarah spoke about growing beyond what she had learned in the past and to me that is a beautiful thing, when people learn and grow. Especially in this particular case, where for so many years transgender people were only treated as caricatures in popular culture. Obviously that's been changing as of recent, but we're still not far removed from the horrors of Jerry Springer. So seeing that, seeing Sarah put words to it, even if struggling some, was something that reassured me that there is hope that progress can continue to be made and the world will become more welcoming to those like Zeke and me and that hopefully one day people will wonder what the hell all the fuss was about. I still get riled if I think about Varner's reveal and what he tried to tap into, that horrible narrative that being transgender is a lie no matter how one lives it, that Zeke could not be trusted because he was transgender. That was so fucking low and wrong. I can understand perfectly why Zeke isn't finding it easy to forgive. He's certainly not obligated to forgive Varner for that betrayal.
  5. Izabela

    S34.E07: What Happened on Exile, Stays on Exile

    But it seems that Zeke did give the okay, right? Of course we don't know how much pressure CBS might have brought to bear to get Zeke's consent, but we don't know. What we do know is that Zeke consented and that CBS worked with people to make sure the episode did nothing to negatively portray transgender people. I'm going to take that as a victory, maybe the best one possible out of that shit move that Varner made in a colossal fit of stupidity. I'm certainly not going to be comfortable saying anything that sounds like "Well if only Zeke had been stronger and refused to let CBS do anything with this..." That doesn't seem fair to Zeke.
  6. Izabela

    S34.E07: What Happened on Exile, Stays on Exile

    That was horrible. I've never felt so much horror and anger and revulsion and sadness at any moment of Survivor before. Varner's thinking and actions are just incomprehensibly stupid and awful, like much of the still existing animosity and prejudice towards transgender people out there today. In so many ways, so many tropes and narratives, we are still portrayed as somehow being essentially deceitful, inauthentic, untrustworthy and that's what Varner tried to use. Lots of credit to Zeke there, he held himself together and while that should have never happened, he should have never been made into one, he will be a positive role model for people to see. It's good to hear that CBS worked with GLAAD and Zeke on this episode and I will give them credit that they did a good job with this. But oh my god, I find myself wondering what I'll hear coworkers saying today at work. We've got a group of people in our department who usually discuss the events of the previous night's episode and I'm among them. What they, except for one, don't know is that I'm in the process of making my own transition. Tomorrow I'll be going to doctor's appointment so I can start HRT and I still have lots of fear and anxiety about what the coming months will be like. In so many ways, I wish it were something I could do by going away to another country for a few years and then come back and take up a life where I'm just regarded as me, not as "the transgender." But I don't have the money to do that and I will be transitioning where I work. So what will I hear today? You better believe I'll be listening for anything from coworkers that might reveal they think transgender people are freaks. And somehow I'll have to hold myself together and not start crying about something if it pushes on me in a sensitive spot. I never thought I would feel more revulsion towards any survivor than Russell Hantz. Jeff Varner pulled that off last night. Ugh.
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