Cherry.. Hello :)
Re: quitting smoking and needing to lose weight. I smoked for 30 years and quit shortly after my 50th birthday. I had just watched my dad (a smoker since the age of 15) die of congestive heart failure at just 70 years old. By the time he was 55, he'd already had quadruple bypass surgery, a pacemaker and a defibrillator but was STILL was still smoking right up until he passed away. My mom, also a lifelong smoker, was told at the age of 56 that she had mid-stage COPD. She supposedly quit for the next 8 or 9 years but I eventually caught her smoking. She went on oxygen full-time when she was 70 and passed away from advanced COPD at just 73 years old (and she was still sneaking cigarettes right up until she had to go into a hospice facility, 5 weeks before she passed). When my dad died (at around the same time my mom was put on 24/7 oxygen), I knew I was headed for serious trouble if I didn't quit. I didn't even know if it would make a difference after 30 years, but I knew I had to try. Until that point, the only time I had quit was during the nine months I was pregnant with my only child 26 years earlier. AND at 50, I was already deep into menopause, so I KNEW I would gain weight if quit (plus I had already gained a few menopause pounds).
Long story even longer, I decided to try hypnosis and use a NON-NICOTINE re-chargeable e-cig as my "desperation" backup. I was very honest with the hypnotherapist. I told her I LOVED smoking and that I really didn't WANT to quit. I never had bronchial infections, shortness of breath, wheezing or coughing. I never smoked more than one pack a day (except back in my early 20s when I still liked to drink) but I had always considered that one pack a day my reward system, my coping mechanism, and sometimes my best friend and I was afraid to give it up after 30 years. Well, she worked all of my hopes (of success) and fears (of failure) into the hypnosis "script." I was fully awake through the whole process, just INCREDIBLY relaxed. And on November 4th of this year, I'll be celebrating my 4th year without a cigarette. Yes, I really did quit right after the hypnotherapy session. In the two years following that day, I took care of my mom and stepdad as they both began the dying process - my mom of advanced COPD and my stepdad (who had been like a second dad for over 25 years) of advanced prostate cancer. Losing my dad was the hardest thing I'd ever been through until losing my mom and stepdad four months apart. 2016 was easily the most painful, grueling, awful year of my life. And yet... I NEVER picked up a cigarette. Now... Did I gain weight? Yes, I definitely did. In fact, I gained a single pound for every year I smoked - 30 extra pounds I could hardly afford. After my mom and stepdad passed away, I was seriously depressed and even though I didn't have an appetite, I didn't feel like getting out of bed either so the extra weight just clung to me like a barnacle on a boat. But a year later, after lots of hard work through therapy, I slowly learned to practice some self-care; something I hadn't done for many, many years. And as I moved forward and healed, I started to lose weight without even trying. Earlier this year, at my annual physical, my doctor told me I was back at my early 2013 weight - I had lost the 30pounds, plus 3 extra for good measure.
I don't know your personal circumstances, but I just want to say you can do anything you NEED to do (you don't even have to necessarily WANT to) if you put the full weight of your intention behind it. In other words, if you choose to have your own back and drown out the other voices (whether it's your own internal naysayer or the voices of people you're surrounded by). Early on in my therapy work, my therapist told me the mental aspect of being "stuck" in life, whether because of grief, depression, anxiety or even fear of change, can cause the same physiological reaction in your body as your mind. She was right. Quitting smoking had been a necessary first step, but three years later, when I finally made the conscious decision to start taking care of MYSELF as well as I'd taken care of everyone else, I started shedding weight almost without even trying. I know you're probably thinking "way easier said than done), but considering I've had MS for over thirty years and Hashimoto's Thyroiditis (an autoimmune disease which causes your thyroid to either overreact or (more often) under act) for ten years, I'm a true believer in the mind-body connection. Intention + action = results.
Good luck to you, Cherry, and anyone else reading this who is trying to give up a bad habit or struggling to work through grief and inertia. Just remember, you're not alone!!