Fotr me it's crystal clear that the scene in the cementery both are alive. But whe they walk in ordinary cloths at the end and Damondisappeared, it's Ejlena who died first and joined her family in teh aftrerlife and Dmaon died after her and joined Stefan.
No I don't think that Damon was supposed to be sad, and cood towards Elena in all these scenes. I can believe it for their reunion when he was right behind Caroline, even though the kiss could have been better,or they could have shown us him carrying her the way he did when it was katherine, ,both crying over Stefan, she pulls aways looks at him in the eyes,wipes his tears with her hand and kisses him on his forhead and hugs him again.It would have been way more emotional than that fake kiss.
But there is no excuse for his look and lack of love and joy around her in the cementery scene,he was looking backward as if he couldn't wait to be over with it, as if he had better things to do.And that forced smile he had when they were walking in the afterlife...no excuse..He didn't show concern wether he would see his brother or not,,,,he showed indifference towards her..Ian's acting simply sucked