Lilit

Very interesting--that Kail article is written by the reporter whom Jenelle accused of spying on her wedding and "stalking" her. I guess Radar is now getting back at her by paying Kail instead?

Hi, y'all. I just wanted to let you know that this was my last episode recap for Teen Mom. I need a break from this show (and the nightmares about Matt), but I plan to continue hanging out here in the forum. Every week I come in here to see what you all thought of the episode and am regularly impressed by what a thoughtful and incisive community this is, with good grammar to boot. Besides, there's no better way to go out than watching Amber, wearing a catsuit with a hood, scream at Matt that he is trash as a garbage truck drives by. I could watch that on a loop for days and still find it funny.

I have never enjoyed not recapping something so much in my life.

I have to say, it was so weird watching that Tom/Trixie scene after finding out that the actors are dating IRL--and that it started during the taping of this episode.

Well, here we are. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-3607686/EXCLUSIVE-Teen-Mom-s-Kailyn-Lowry-confirms-divorcing-Javi-Morroquin-devastating-miscarriage-tore-apart.html#v-90310262217722658

I have sat through seven episodes of this show and there has been ABSOLUTELY ZERO CASHEW. She is the best character on this whole show. Why can't any of these interminable Gavin scenes happen in his apartment so that we can experience some of Cashew's majesty?

It's been a while since Hebrew school, but I think that in the Bible Hannah prays and prays for a child and finally gets her wish: a son, whom she names Samuel. It had more of a parallel with the patient's baby than with April's but I'm sure that as a religious woman April would have considered the significance of the name.

I'm going to guess that it's similar to other reality show contracts and either covers things like reunion shows/extra episodes above the agreed-upon total or incentives based on ratings. But a pony would be way better.

Am I the only one who remembers a rumor going around that Jackson was going to be Richard and Ellis' long-lost son? I had forgotten about that until Maggie was cast. I wonder what made them change the gender of the character? I agree that it would have been way more interesting for Meredith to have a brother for a change.

My weird crush on Richard is getting out of hand. He's so ruddy-cheeked and modest and he makes heart-shaped doughnuts. I like the remaining contestants but if he doesn't win I'll be sad.

Lilly got fired! Mike got engaged! I miss this trainwreck.

I don't blame you - sometimes when I say "ASL" people go all "age/sex/location" because apparently it's still 1997? But I feel the need to say "American Sign Language" because so many people think sign language is universal. Basically, what I'm trying to say here is hi shapeshifter and glad we were on the same page about this.

Thanks @EllieH! I have to admit that I felt weird about bringing up a show that's still on. Seriously, why is that show still on?

You should have seen the faces Sarah and I made at each other during the Zoodles segment. It was very "Did we accidentally wander into Canada when we were drunk?"

She had so many bad choices, but I couldn't get over her headbands. The faux-hippie flower wraparound headband was so horrible I actually shuddered at the sight of it.

I had the same question, Oregonrain, and mentioned that in my recap. She seemed so traumatized and so negative in the way she talked about sex and sexuality that I was concerned something had happened to her.

Why would two people who don't have a penny saved to take care of a baby be the kind of people who think far enough ahead to bring extra clothes?

Seriously, though, if anyone can make me a gif of CT cackling with glee as he chooses Zach to be his partner, I will be eternally grateful.

Wait, like the Olympic gold medal winner? Someone with actual accomplishments in life is dating BANANAS?! I have to lie down.

I know this show is always depressing, but this season feels like one long chain of depressing.

I found myself wondering if she was projecting her anger at her own dad onto Maurice. No, he wasn't perfect by a long shot, but the frequent demands to apologize - and to apologize only in a specific Arianna-endorsed way - felt like she wanted the apology to come from her own dad for abandoning her. That was some "Caroline Manzo demanding Teresa apologize but then getting mad at her for apologizing" shit right there.

I need a Xanax.