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BenchWarmer

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  1. …and furthermore… Mary D. did a Laurie Felt show this morning. IMO, Mary has been put in some matronly stuff lately …but…today…a portly shipwrecked pirate?
  2. I predict the tragicomedy jumpsuit will sell well…spend the summer in the back of closets…and find itself in a Salvation Army bin in the fall. It’s impractical, unflattering on all but roadkill flat supermodels and ‘trend-right’ for a millisecond of a millisecond. Who wears this stuff, and where, in real life? Short of wearing an overcoat, there was no way Carolyn was going to disguise the total disaster of her attire.
  3. Bingo! Who really needs a 35th Dooney bag?…but…it gets you a cameo on your favorite saga discussing (with an adored huckster*) the long-running story line of quality, value and convenience. *insert tears and wild-assed testimonials
  4. Oooh. You of little faith… This is a legacy thing… ”I watched with my grandmother after school. Now MY granddaughter and I…” ”My daughter loooves your shoe shows” ”Hunks of Q meat have graced our holiday table for 25 years!”
  5. I’m sure she really cares while counting piles of money on her kitchen table.
  6. Ironically, both sell and sell and sell… which tells me the Q DOES know their customer… perfectly imperfect everyday women who buy because they’ve always bought and will continue to buy because they are now hard wired to BELIEVE there are no good alternatives.
  7. American Qothic Jilly best beware Mart’s mighty pitchfork.
  8. I give a side eye to professional hucksters representing the oppressed
  9. Many product reps appear to live “elevated” lives. Trendy furniture in pristine, professionally decorated rooms. State-of-the-art kitchens. Elegant landscaping beside freshly asphalted driveways. Repping shower heads and hose nozzles must pay well. *Mary Louise Ludwig and L&L Chris are relatable real-deal exceptions. **IIRC, a couple of Dan H’s “dear dear (rep) friends” are lawyers.
  10. Straighteners + Dryers + flat irons + hi-tech brushes + Giant rollers + Wigs + Beauty blog tutorial daughter + Obedient husband + Local salon = no excuse
  11. IMO, the Blabster’s downhill slide became apparent when she began neglecting her hair. Looking back at old pics, a well groomed head of hair softened her look. Her current lazy, sloppy, clumsy, depressed self assessment is all I can think of when looking at her. A prop glass of wine in her hand at all hours of the day reinforces my thoughts of something deeper going on than a camera-ready smile.
  12. IMO, KG is beautiful at any size. The southern belle shtick works for her. Her beauty pageant history and involvement certainly gives her a leg up in knowing how to accentuate the positive. I give her credit for hard work + creativity = success
  13. Old term, truckers wear these… Variations also known as… Battle Jacket Eisenhower Jacket
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