Uncle JUICE
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Posts posted by Uncle JUICE
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I know this is a little regional, but here in NJ, there's a commercial for a store called Wayne Tile. It starts with one lady, dressed like she just came from the office, at a tile store, looking around confusedly, then texting apparently a group of FIVE OTHER WOMEN asking where they are. Hahahah, as it turns out, these women went to the other five Wayne Tile locations!
THis makes me mad because what the fuck are five women (or five PEOPLE) ever going to do together a tile store? Like what the fuck are they going there to accomplish? It sure isn't pick out tile.
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33 minutes ago, NannyBails said:
Co-sign about no more boat docking! More scenery please ... sunrises, sunsets??? Heck even the camera focusing ahead on the water while they chug from one place to another would be more interesting than yet another tight docking scenario.
Count me in on the no more boat docking train. Additionally, either explain WTF is going on and why everyone has some sort of boner about dropping the anchor, or stop showing it. To the land lubbers among us, it seems like it should be as easy as letting gravity do the work. Clearly it is something more than that, because they sure make the process seem complex. I hate this show now.
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2 hours ago, suzywallis said:
YES! What Groupon were they referring to? I thought maybe it was one of those fake vaginas or something along those lines? I could see that since it was for "relaxation." The massage would have made sense as well.
Guys, PLEASE stop with these visuals!!! Now I have to picture Coltee getting caught fucking a disembodied vagina by his mom. I mean it couldn't happen to a nicer guy, but I don't want to picture any of that. Or him NOT getting caught and then rinsing it out in the sink. WTF!
ETA And now I can't stop thinking of it. Like of Deb opening the dishwasher to find a soiled latex ass on the top shelf and resignedly sighing before moving it aside so she can put her high ball glass in next to it. There, now YOU can think of it too.
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43 minutes ago, magemaud said:
And I just KNOW Angela is wearing a really tacky garter that Michael will have to retrieve with his teeth. Don't forget, she doesn't like to wear underwear...
Good....grief.
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14 hours ago, mamadrama said:
Maybe she was just talking about this trip. I SWEAR Angela and Mykol have referenced having sex in multiple episodes. Do we really think Angela would NOT get any? She's a bully over everything else. Ugh.
I believe last season, Angela claimed in two or three weeks together there, they'd had sex THIRTY EIGHT times. I agree with you, I don't buy that they'd only had sex once this trip, I mean the woman packed a vibrator that looked like the back end of a weed whacker. In fact it might be gas powered and have a string pull starter.
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Melyza is basically a less charming April Ludgate.
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1 hour ago, Neurochick said:
Melyza is a spiteful, resentful bitch and she's not making herself look any better. If a guy cheated on me like that I'd drop him. The End.
I detest Ari. She's going to wind up going back to the US and raising the child there. Will she allow THEIR child to know their Ethiopian heritage? I think not. She'll hope her privilege will be enough for her child.
Do we know why Binyam can't emigrate? Is Ethiopia on one of those lists? I think this is going to be the sadder version of the South African dude and the girl from Maryland, because binyam doesn't seem to be inherently douchey a la that South African guy. He's clearly industrious and doesn't mind working, I'm not sure if he's got some sort of charge against him that means he can't apply to live here. Maybe it's just all them money it costs? I don't know why I'm asking you Neurochick, but I can't get the box to disappear. 🙂
Just now, Meowwww said:Agreed. They are not even a story. Ugh.
Question. Mid-season finale, they’re back in October? Why is that? What are they going to show in between?Darcey and Marcey, or Stacey and Tracey or whatever that fucking show is called? In THIS house, it's called "Thirsty Bitchtwins."
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11 minutes ago, Gobi said:
I can picture Andreeii going along with low level corruption, such as fixing a traffic ticket, but not wanting to be involved in something serious, such as drug dealing. I can also see it being better for his health to leave Moldova under those circumstances.
This is almost exactly what we're going to learn: Andrei's a reluctant hero and the family all comes back to gether again and have a new found respect for him. That's why I want him to just reveal he was some sort of stormtrooping enforcer whose job was to ferret out and publicly beat gay men and women to the horror of a crowd. PLOT TWIST.
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I hope the next episode features Andrei's confession, that he worked in a torture chamber for religious minority re-education. "My job was burning the feet of children, but that was only after I got promoted from body disposal. Plus side I'm good with a bone saw and know how what household compounds to use to get a body to dissolve beyond identifiability. So now what?"
That's what I hope he does.
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1 minute ago, SunnyBeBe said:
What struck me the most about how Ari was talking to Bynium is that it seemed like a taunt. Like, I can talk to you anyway that I want, threaten to leave, stay, leave, witch, change my mind, etc. I can do it, because, I can. So, take that.....There is no point in talking to him that way. If you truly aren't happy, you can kindly break the news and say, I'm so sorry, but, I have changed my mind and must return home for now. We can stay in contact and talk about this. Maybe, it was the hormones, but, I don't think so. I think she is has a mean streak and it's pretty wide. Some people amuse themselves by hurting or manipulating others.
I'll say this again, but, Tim does not look well to me. What's going on with him? Something about his face, complexion, features, skin......either hormones or some kind of medication......IDK. I hope he gets checked out.
Totally agree! Said it to my wife while we were watching it, too. Saying "I'm just saying, I have options!" is a very clear threat. Her better move would have been to just say "I have made a gigantic mistake and I can't stay here, I'm extremely sorry," and gone back to America. She was never going to succeed living in Ethiopia, she's not cut out for that. Involve a baby and it's no longer a 'long vacation' like with her ex husband. It's going to be hard enough raising that child now, don't make a bad situation worse. And I don't have it in for Binyam, it's not his fault his moron baby mama somehow thought everything would be just fine once she showed up on Ethiopian soil. Clearly absolutely NO RESEARCH again. How much does an apartment cost in Addis Abbaba? I can find out online in three seconds. If she thought she needed a $1400 apartment, and I'm not saying she's wrong, then she could have easily done the calculation from Princeton and said "Do you make $2000 a month?" The answer is no, so I'm not moving there. This poor guy is going to have two kids he can never see.
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Malia, don't talk about being a great manager when you get frustrated with your team and call them fuckers. Rob might have been wrong doing it a way you didn't want it done, that's totally legitimate, but you lose all your professional high ground by calling them fuckers, particularly when there's more than one of them present, is completely out of bounds. Furthermore, Sandy, when you realize that Rob is actually escalating such behavior TO YOU in front of Malia, and your response is the ridiculous "Why not say 'can I make a suggestion,'" (which is bullshit anyway), and NOT "And when you want your team to respond to your leadership, it's probably a better idea not to demean them with profanity", then you show YOU"re not a good manager either. I swear, this stuff is NOT that hard to get right. Malia was in the wrong the way she reacted, and the crew was in the wrong for not doing it the way she said to do it, regardless if it was the best way to do it. This show sucks now.
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7 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:
Maybe it gets in the way of her providing a satisfactory bj.
I think that has more to do with her having two X chromosomes.
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On 8/19/2020 at 1:48 PM, MargeGunderson said:
And yet she’s reduced to selling asswhole pictures to make a living. I guess that isn’t a realization?
It's just the American dream. Pull yourself up by the bootstraps, really grind out that living, catch a break here or there, work your way up to food sampler, and before you know it, YES! you're selling pictures of your asshole to strangers. I mean it is such a classic American tale, I can almost hear the Sousa march soundtrack.
I like to imagine the day in three months when Farrah realizes her close up asshole pictures aren't selling as much as she needs them to, and she has to decide "Am I at the wrong price point? I need to do some more research to make sure I'm not outside the market, I wonder what one of the mid-season cast offs from something like Survivor gets for their anal zoom shots." Or her riding the market downward to a point where she's like "Listen, even I have SOME dignity remaining, I'm not selling the pictures of my asshole for less than $25, I mean seriously!" And then she just takes them off the menu altogether, because no one wants it.
I'm not sure why she's dressed like a flight attendant in her "I'm a teacher now!" picture which you know has at least two mistakes in it (family's and DEFINITELY meant to say the best teacher IS life, not IN life). Life taught Farrah a glimpse at her anus, or at her taking a shit, is worth $100. Clearly great.
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1 minute ago, mamadrama said:
I agree. IMO Eric and Larissa are fabricating this entire relationship and drama. The only question is whether or not Sharp is in on it.
Do you think Colt's agreeing to this clearly made up "I'm just hip deep in women who want to give me the sexual attention I crave, and it keeps getting me into trouble with the women I am in relationships with" story as a way to somehow generate that interest where it doesn't currently exist? Like to get women to think "Well, he must have SOMETHING going on if all these women are into him that he can't keep himself on the level, let me get a taste and see."? I can't imagine a different explanation. I mean it's not really going to work, his sweaty cold moist dough of a setup is really tough to get around.
This show is basically "TLC pays for trips for two people until the season is over." It's stupid as fuck.
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42 minutes ago, Boo Boo said:
I think what Tania really wants is someone who brings home the money so she can do her activism.
This is probably pretty close. This is adulthood smashing someone right in their collective groins. It's reality. Yes, when you're sexually obsessed with someone early on in your relationship it's easy to think "this is all going to work out grea," but almost any adult would have heard the red flag warnings in "I want to be maybe a fireman, or actor, or perhaps an opera singer" translate to "I want to be a meandering manchild who thinks he's too big for a wage earning job because that makes me a total corporate plastic SELLOUT, the worst thing on earth." Anyone who heard "Well, come on over and during the 90 day period, I'm going to move to Central America for a month to learn about juices while you live in my mom's shed" and said "wait, does that sound like something an adult will do?" The problem with this romantic idealism of your early twenties is it spoils in a REAL hurry as you go from 25 to 30. Basically you go from "older guy in the bar" to "someone's designated driver" in that time. The two of them are doomed to blow up.
ETA it's probably right at 26 years old, when you can no longer be covered by your parents' medical benefits, now that I think of it.
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15 minutes ago, Silver Bells said:
PLEASE somebody throw Larissa off the show or the bridge. What nerve. Are Americans made of gold? Erikee is just as crazy as her. $25,000 dollars? Who does she think she is? Get your ass out of everyone’s house and get a job already. She bothers me the most. Entitled fucker. Yeah, she’ll give you the money back. Asshole Erikee.
Signal #3 that this whole storyline is totally fabricated. If that dude could afford to lend that sort of money, why is he splitting such a shitty place with his "friend"?
"I totally cannot wait to mush my hands onto her amazing boobs while we are completely doing it, because we TOTALLY do it all the time, guys!" -- Eric.
ETA actual exchange from watching with Mrs. Juice last night: Larissa was talking about getting the boobs to make the sex-i better-y, because she want'i something that eric'ee likey. Me: "Better get a big old dick tacked on to, then," my wife., exasperated: "You're forty four, come on." Of course she said it laughing, so....
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Ericee is REALLY having trouble acting like he's sexually into Larissa, AT ALL. I don't blame him, he can't help it, but whoever hired this rightfully struggling actor should have recognized it very, very early. The sectoins where she's telling him she want s a boob job and he's like "I could totally, uh, have a lot of fun, I think, with those, uh....cannons?" Again, shades of "How about those Dolphins" in The Birdcage. Dude just isn't straight, and he's not talented enough to make anyone believe he is, and whoever's producing their segments is just not asking for a twenty sixth take. THe problem is this definitely makes the show fake, and once I can see the seams, as it were, it doesn't take long for me to check out. For example there's simply no way Angela or Mahckle (thanks for the more accurate spelling) didn't just say "Listen, tell them whatever, they're not moving to America, who wants to get into all this here?" and solve the problem. And there's also no way that mom would have authorized a real wedding anyway. The whole cooked up Moldovan Mystery (we're not going to find out he's a professional assassin, right?), the idiotic scene we're supposed to believe actually happened between ASuelo's people and Kalani...has anyone in life ever preceded beating someone up by actually saying "I'M GOING TO BEAT YOU UP!"?
Fuck you 90 Days. Where was my Kareeeneee.
3 minutes ago, Neurochick said:I can't watch Angela AT ALL. I wish she would go away. I don't want to see her on TV EVER. I'M DONE with her shit.
Libby's family are ugly Americans. People like that are the reason many in the world hate America, because of narrow minded, xenophobic pricks like them.
I'm surprised the producers didn't have them show up wearing the outfit Apollo wore in Rocky IV, just in case you weren't SURE they were Americans.
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25 minutes ago, Mkay said:Hot take alert.
Anyone who thinks systemic racism isn't a thing, look at how many charges this dumb ass has skated on. If this guy were black he'd be lucky to be alive.
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Wow. This season was SO MUCH BETTER than the first four, largely because Coach Beam has exactly the right perspective on what his role in the football landscape is, and it's really just a guy who wants to help those KIDS,, whatever that might mean, not aggrandize himself. NEver once do either of those other asshole coaches tell a kid "You know you're not really D1 material, right? Let's see what we can figure out." That's a hard discussion, and so many of these kids never had that sort of hard talk with their own fathers. He genuinely loved the kids, he was ACTUALLY coaching (not just yelling to run faster or want it more). He seemed 100% perfectly suited for what he was doing, where he was doing it.
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18 hours ago, Neurochick said:
I don't understand Libby.
Why does she call her dad and brother "her family" as if Andrei isn't. Andrei is her HUSBAND and she has a CHILD with him. He's her family as well.
I too am a little underwhelmed by the dramatic potential in threatening lines like "If Chock and Sharlie don't apologize, then I'm not sure this second wedding is ever going to happen." YOU ARE ALREADY MARRIED AND A LEGAL RESIDENT OF THE US. Waaaaah, you only got a free trip to MOldova out of it, not a free trip and a free party.
And please stop with this "Chuck is paying for this party" bullshit. TLC is paying. It's not coincidence that all these douchers get to go on trips even though they have no income or employment to speak of.
2 hours ago, Alonzo Mosely FBI said:Thank you for saying it they are, right down to the hat, everything Moldova imagines Americans to be. Dad boasts, demands and flexes and brother interjects a YEAH once in a while. I hate them more than mother Debbie.
For god's sake, a HAT THAT SAYS AMERICA? For real???? Who the fuck would really do that in a foreign country?
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1 hour ago, Baltimore Betty said:
Here we have Mah-kul's Aunt telling Angela that she has to be submissive and to be more of a Nigerian woman and we have Angela screeching about how she is an Amurican and she will do what she wants. So in reality we have Angela who earns all the money, will pay for the K1 and will orchestrate their lives, etc...but she is being told that she will have to defer all marital decisions to someone who brings nothing to the table and has never had to make decisions about anything. Very conservative Mother Michael is fine with Angela paying for the apartment where her son is living in sin and is not ashamed that her son lives off Angela.
On the other hand we have Angela emasculating Mah-kul at every turn, she made him stop driving Uber, (ok, he got a BJ for giving a ride to a female so yeah, not good), Angela wanted him available 24/7 to talk on the phone at all times, (stupid, right?), she demands he bend to her every whim, don't talk back, cook, clean...basically be submissive to her, but she is all the while screaming about how she is equal to a man, to a man she will not let be equal to her.
Just my two cents.
This is all true, but no one told Angela she HAD to marry someone whose culture dictated all these significant philosophical differences (also, TLC is paying for the apartment out of production budget, I'm certain of it, as Angela does not likely have the financial or any other sort of wherewithal to secure an international short term rental apartment. How many phone calls would that take? She's caring for her dying mom in home hospice and six grandchildren, NIgeria is at least six time zones different).
My point is she can also just grin, nod, and say sure, then tell Michael I'm just saying that so we can get this WEDN (ugh!) done and then when we go to America, we will just live an American life, if she wasn't just trying to be dramatic. She can always just say this isn't going to work out and skip the whole charade, too, but now she's on that TLC teat.
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47 minutes ago, nb360 said:
I had to laugh at Jess's look on her face when Debbie blurted out, in the back seat: "O.K., we have to talk about last night."
She might as well have said "Because that's what the script says to do." That farewell scene was the fakest so far in a season of fakery. Neither one of them was sad to see the other go.
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It's official. This show sucks. Every couple has the same scene, same conversation, every stupid week. Michael and Angela find someone else to go have a culture clash is. Libby's family doesn't trust Andrei, now the sisters will show up and they'll have the exact same "WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN IRELAND" conversation. Colt and his aspiring actress girlfriend have another inexplicable fight as if Colt is anyone's object of sexual desire, or anyone would argue with someone else over him. Paul and Karinee live in squalor (Paul, you have too many flies in here!" was the most harrowing line of the night). Larissa and her gay roomate pretend they have a history. Asuelu and Kalani go someplace and argue with someone about s=ending money. It sucks, it's the same every stupid week, but here I am!
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Commercials That Annoy, Irritate or Outright Enrage
in Commercials
I thought maybe the same thing, but the geographic spread of these stores (again, it's a very local commercial), I mean one store is almost two hours from another! Also, unless they're five way partners, generally a designer does this work and presents options at the office (I only know because I'm doing an office reno in my role as purchaser, and I'm not going to any tile stores!).