The focus being on the destructive, negative aspects of their story does make it difficult, for me at least, to get what they see in each other. We are shown the doubts, the insecurities, the perceived slights and selfish behaviour. Not so much the things which make them connect (beyond sex and their shared attraction to darkness). Not saying that means they are not in love, just that side of things is not shown as much and personally I am not feeling it. Subjective, definitely, but my being unable to perceive sexual chemistry between the two in the first season (the giddy, falling in love season) hasn't helped now we are in the downward spiral phase. I just have to take it on faith they are in love and possibly right for each other. And yes, it probably does make it less satisfying and harder to view the show and the relationship as the way Treem probably intended it to come across. It's still fascinating though.