And this is precisely why, no matter my nascent attachments to ritual and symbolism of the church, I will never be a practicing Catholic again. I absolutely cannot belong to a church that puts their image above the people who believe in the institution with all their souls. A few years ago, a story came out here about a man in my area who was receiving one of the settlements the church was giving out. The man had been sexually abused by a priest. His mother believed him, the church did nothing to help. He tried to overdose at the altar of the church where I received my first communion. He survived it, and was even the janitor at my Catholic elementary school. That church doesn't exist any more, but I knew if it did, I could never watch a priest consecrate the sacraments without thinking about that man and what they did to him. I haven't started the series yet, but my heart is so broken for poor Jean. She had so much taken from her that can't be given back.