themiki

I kinda get the feeling that Sketchy isn't coasting. I think he's been doing his best and assuming he was going to win, and then pretending he wasn't really trying when he realized how much better everyone else's work was.

Ugh. Gia was obviously not going to make it to the end, but she's clearly more talented than Mike or Boneface. Every season I see so much misogyny from the non-Dave Navarro judges that it drives me nuts. Especially how hard Chris was on Megan Jean last season. That girl got judged twice as hard as anyone else, and even though I don't think she could have won, she deserved so much better. This season some of the girls (Ryan and Kelly) are too fucking talented for the judges to let on how seriously the don't take artists with vaginas, so the misogyny has been slightly less obvious. Can we please get a female judge next season? Like on Best Ink, which had two female winners because the girls weren't constantly treated like a lesser class of artists. Argh. Sorry, off my soapbox. I really did dig Gian's tattoo, especially considering how difficult the subject was. It wasn't a pin-up though, and Ryan blew him out of the water. Nicki is annoying, but amazingly talented. Especially when you find out she's been tattooing for less than five year. In a few more years that girl's gonna be unstoppable. But probably still annoying. Sketchy and Boneface bug me. I agree that the girls shouldn't expect to never be targeted on skull picks, but they're both so shitty and aggressively masculine about being dickbags. I feel like Sketchy is the sort of dude that asks shit like, "When do we get to have a straight pride parade?" and "When's white history month?" Fuck that guy. And his shitty ass tattoos.

The reason you see so many mediocre artists on these shows is because good tattoo artists who take their craft seriously absolutely abhor these shows. They're set up to permanently mar another human being's skin. Sure the canvases sign up for the show and know what their getting into, but as an artist you are responsible for the art that you have walking around with your name (metaphorically) on it. These shows are a blemish on the entire art of tattooing. I mean, an entertaining one that I totally watch, but that's the reason the talent is subpar.

I'm usually into more femmy girls, but I have a huge crush on Nora. That girl is amazing. I think the reason this show is so good and so fun to watch is that shows like Project Runway and Top Chef put a bunch of diva blowhards in a house together and watch them claw at each others' faces. Face Off is a bunch of make-up artists. Make-up artists can't be divas because they work professionally with the biggest divas in the known world. I don't think it's a career that naturally attracts dramatic personalities. It attracts artists that are fine with being behind the scenes and don't care if their name is in lights.

Man, I wanted to like this show. Horror comedy is my absolute favorite genre, and it's woefully underserved. That said, I didn't HATE it. I'm not mad... Just disappointed. First of all, just saying you're satire doesn't give you carte blanche to completely ignore plot structure and character motivation. If only the Chanels (plus maybe neck-brace) had seen the fryer incident I could have bought the premise, but what the fuck is everyone else doing there. The whole, "We'll lie and say it was you" thing was weak sauce. Like the cops wouldn't listen to the interchangeable blonde nice girl and the walking black girl stereotype (whom I'm sure Ryan Murphy thinks isn't racist because he's mostly using the positive stereotypes. I bet she's great at track) were they to file a report. For proper tongue-in-cheek characters with questionable motivation, see Cabin in the Woods. Ryan Murphy is no Joss Whedon, and it fucking shows. Chad and the homo-Jo-Bro were awesome. My favorite line was when Chad told Chanel that one of the reasons she couldn't out the Jo-bro was that he was his bro, and also they really liked hitting golf balls at the gay-straight alliance. Thank god they killed Ariana Grande. I hate that bitch. To be fair, I know almost nothing about her, but I was a recapper over at TVgasm (R.I.P) during the season of Big Brother that her brother was on, and he was the worst person in the Big Brother house. Think about that. Think about where the bar is set for Big Brother contestants. And he was the worst. I hate him, but it was kinda fun to watch him talk about his super famous baby sister because you could hear the venom in his voice when he did it. Frankie was supposed to be the star! Frankie!!! In conclusion, I feel like this show is kinda the "Fat Amy" of satire. Just because you call yourself that it doesn't make you less fat or other people less judgy. I know this shit is supposed to be campy. I WANTED it to be campy. Campy does not mean glaring plot holes and a complete disregard for character development (unless you're a way better director than Ryan Murphy and can make that shit feel intentional). Also, pretty convinced that Chanel is bathtub baby, and MAYBE the killer. Maybe. I find it more Ryan Murphy-ish to have her be the bathtub baby, but not the killer. Two separate twists.

Dave reminded me so much of Napoleon Dynamite's brother. It's hard to picture that guy in battle. He didn't deserve the asshole bully crew coming after him, but I feel like this show tries to weed out contestants who aren't complete sociopaths. Remember how on Best Ink we could root FOR people instead of just rooting against the ones we hate? Ink Master makes the entire tattoo world look bad. It sucks. I hate Wreck-It Ralph or Chris or whatever that douchebag's name is. He makes good tattoos though, and this is a contest for tattoo artists. Too bad it's not a contest for dressing like a six-year-old and name-dropping the Marine Corps. He'd have won it all already. I'm rooting for Matt and Eric. Not because I like them, but because I don't actively hate them. Katie is tolerable, but I feel like she's one of those bullied kids that would flip sides and join the bullies if given half a chance. She's got the soul of a mean girl, even if she was too weird to actually become one. Duffy is out of her league, but at least she's a decent seeming human. Craig is mediocre with occasional moments of glory. I feel like he'd produce really nice work if allowed to work is his own style, but he is not versatile enough to win this competition. And I keep forgetting Tyler exists the way you all do with Eric. He's just such a caricature of an ego maniac tattoo artist pretty boy. It's like my eyes glide right over him when he's on stage.

Experience is obviously a big help in the tattoo world, but did anyone watch the second (?) season of that other tattoo show Best Ink? The girl that won had only been tattooing for I think five or six years, and she was absolutely phenomenal. Like, too good to be competing on one of these shows. And St Marq has 25 years of experience and still sucks at everything but no-outline-black-and-grey. That being said, the Master Vs Apprentice angle is stupid. The Rivals angle is almost as stupid. If they want to drum up more viewers they should focus on getting better talent on board. I'd way rather watch actual talented tattoo artists compete while putting out amazing work than watch a bunch of mediocre idiots mangle people's skin because they add to the drama. That's probably why Face-Off is my all-time favorite reality competition show... All talent, almost no drama.