smores

With the way that the PCPD has been working with Sonny, I'm shocked that they didn't have him on speed dial. That way, when Julian caught on, they could have just had him go knocking on the door to "harass" Alexis some more about taking his side or something, and thereby saving her from being taken from the house in the first place. Then they could have stalled for more time for the judge to come through. Woohoo! Sonny saves the day by following the law. They even could have had the big fight, and Sonny would have had to use lethal force, but he would have clearly been on the side of good. I cannot stand Spencer. Why can't that kid be SORAS'd or recast? There's no one that thinks he's cute or funny.

Jason got married. It meant that there was another person to consider when it came to how to spend the weekend or the holiday. So, even if B had no traditions that she brought, it doesn't mean that Jason's way goes. It means that they figure out what to do together. I never saw her say that she wanted no Hoppys ever. I saw her say sometimes just the 3, sometimes Hoppys, but not nearly as much Hoppys as Jason just automatically assumed there would be.

I'm not saying that the time with the Hoppys is what broke them up. I'm saying that it's where I saw a nasty side of Jason's personality come out. To me, saying to her "You just don't understand because you've never had a REAL family" is manipulative and cruel. And I say this from experience, I come from a messed up family, we never did things like other people, and in a lot of ways I could say that I was raised by wolves like B. My husband, on the other hand, has a family that all goes to the grandparent's house for every.single.holiday. Flag day? Time to go to grandma's! There are also a ton of them, and they ALL show up. This is great, it's cool, I love them. The thing is, I grew up doing certain things on certain days, and just because it wasn't going to grandma's with everyone in the world that I'm possibly related to doesn't mean I did it wrong, or that I should immediately abandon the idea of ever doing that again. However, early on in our marriage, it WAS an issue. I was totally happy to go to his family stuff most of the time, because family IS important. But, he didn't always see that doing the stuff that celebrated my "background" was equally important. It's not the same as gathering around a table with all your aunts and uncles the way he did as a kid, but it was what meant that holiday to me. It was what made it Thanksgiving or whatever. And, he did tell me that I just didn't get it because I didn't have a normal family, that if I had, I would understand. That did not go the way he thought it would (I imagine he thought I'd say, oh, I see your point, and just give in). We had a very animated discussion, and he now does realize that how I did holidays is just as valid and important as how he did them, even if it wasn't "family" Since then, we've created a happy mix, we do some of my stuff, some of his stuff, and we've started some new stuff just us. Jason shutting down anything because "you just don't get it" and making her automatically wrong doesn't make him automatically right.

I am out. I have watched every version of the Housewives, every episode, since the start of OC, and I have deleted NJ from my tivo. I refuse to reward Teresa and her actions by continuing to watch her on tv. I don't know why Bravo decided that they had to hold off on production until she was out of the pokey, and that she was the main draw, I'd have continued watching if they had dropped her. Since they opted to bring her back, they lose me as a viewer. You don't get to walk out of prison and right back into the life you stole like you were on a spa vacation.

But, you're a normal, healthy adult. I think the fact that Jason was there every weekend and every holiday kind of points to their expectations. Once I got married, my parents flat out said they knew that we couldn't be in two places at once and that they had no expectations of us spending every holiday with them. They encouraged me to make my own traditions (whether with my husband's family or just the two of us), and said they would be fine working around that. There was no "oh, you spent Thanksgiving with them, so we have to have our own meal on the Sunday before or after" They just got that we had Thanksgiving with my in laws. Jason's parents never said encouraged him to stay home and spend some time with his new family, or make his own traditions, it was just fold them right into the way things had always gone. It is absolutely normal for new grandparents to want to spend as much time with the baby as possible (or any new relative). But, like you said, you realized it was a problem that other people wanted to be with the baby all the time too. Bethenny and Jason worked during the week, so the weekend would be their time with the baby. But, then they'd have to pack up everything the baby would need, the nurse, the dog, and drive 4 hours with the baby to stay in someone else's house so they could then spend all the time they want with the baby. Bethenny saying that she wanted to spend some weekends at home with the baby wasn't exactly a horrible thing, it's not any different, really, than your niece being irritated that people keep calling to have the baby. But yet people vilify B for it, saying she was trying to keep the baby away from the Hoppys and raise her on her own.

I totally agree on the enmeshment between Jason and his parents. They lost his brother and their dynamic was screwed up from then on. Everything was about their loss, and Jason will always fall back on "Well, they lost a child, so if this makes them happy" And, while it's not exactly healthy, if that's what he chooses to do, that's cool for him. It's not cool to put that burden on Bethenny or Brynn. They may have other plans for the weekend, Brynn might want to have a sleepover at some point, and she shouldn't be held back from things like that just because it's "an easy way to make Grandma and Grandpa happy" Family is important, but so is having your own experiences and growing as your own individual person, and even growing as your own family. Having your own holiday traditions, without always hopping in the car and driving 4 hours to replicate what Dad did for every single holiday growing up. You can't relive his childhood. Jason also liked to play a game with Bethenny when they'd disagree about things like this and tell her she just didn't understand, because she hadn't come from a "real family" If she had, she'd see that this is the way to do things. It's a nice way to try to push her buttons, and it's really cruel. That alone showed me that he wasn't the nice guy he was portrayed himself as. Yeah, he said it in a compassionate way, Oh, honey, you just don't know better, if you'd had a better childhood, like me, you'd know. Yes, she says she was raised by wolves, but that doesn't mean that her way of celebrating things is less valid, or her thoughts on how often they should visit should just be dismissed. He doesn't automatically win because mom and dad are still married.

If she left because she got married and was going to be helping with the kids/having her baby, I don't see that as a step backwards for feminism. I've always viewed feminism as the ability to make the best choice for you and your situation. For some women, it's having a career, being a lawyer, maybe, and not apologizing for staying on track with that while also having a family. But, for other women, that may very well mean being a stay at home mother. Or, a housewife. If you are able to pay your bills and it's the situation that works best for your family and it is what you CHOOSE to do, then I don't see it as anti-feminism. Now, if Cory was standing there saying, Get in the kitchen, make my dinner, clean up this house, and why are these kids running around screaming? Well, that would be a different story. But, he was married to Leah, so we can pretty much assume that he's not that guy, otherwise Leah might have some sort of household skills. LOL!

Let's say she actually does win the case and the judge agrees with her that the bankruptcy lawyer failed to do her duty (I disagree strongly, but, for argument's sake). The bankruptcy was never discharged, so she actually DOES owe those debts. Why is there even a question as to whether or not the money would go to the people who were named in the bankruptcy or not?

I don't really see how she can win this lawsuit, though. On any of that paperwork, she had to sign that she reviewed the information and it was all true and correct. So, she was saying that she went over all of the information and she is agreeing that ALL of the assets were included in the list. How can she now say that the lawyer is to blame for leaving them out? Also, the bankruptcy wasn't the only thing she was indicted for, it may have gotten the ball rolling, but it wasn't the only issue. There was a long line of fraud going back years. If she was complicit in all of that, how can she suddenly be all "I dunno!" (in a little girl voice) when it comes to the bankruptcy?

I don't have kids, but if I did, my first priority would be to keep them safe. From everyone. And, that means their father, if the father made stupid questionable decisions. Over the years Adam has had DUIs, driven without a license and had a massive car crash. He's now brought Aubree around a sex offender. Who knows what else he has done that the public isn't aware of. While I can understand that you wouldn't normally question a child beyond "how was your visit with dad? did you do anything fun?" in this case, I can't help but be on Chelsea's side. Adam has demonstrated time and again that he has no regard for Aubree's safety, and when asked (reasonably) to follow some basic rules, he doesn't. That's how he ended up with supervised visitation. Even with the supervised visits, he's still putting her at risk, and the only way that Chelsea can protect her is to know what is happening. If I were in her shoes, I'd be asking the same questions, because at the end of the day, it would be my job to make sure she was safe. Period. And if her father won't do it, I'd take the steps needed to do it (supervised visits, then going back for more restrictions if needed). Later on if I had to explain to my child why I did all of that? Well, I'd have an alive, safe child that was maybe mad at me. But, alive and safe are the key words. Mad I can live with if the others are there.

Todd had absolutely no problems telling Kandi to go get his money from Phaedra and turning her into his own personal collection agent. But, then when Apollo is brought into it, he's all "It was between you and me, Apollo had nothing to do with it!" You can't have that both ways, if it's between Todd and Phaedra, then why is he dragging Kandi in? And I'm tired of the who called the Feds crap. How about, "No Apollo, we won't hide your shit. We're your friends and we won't have your house being raided with your kids in it looking for the stuff. You aren't leaving it here" Friends would be more worried about the little kids having to have their houses raided multiple times than making sure Apollo had his toys when he gets out.

I have never found her likeable or entertaining, even back in season one I found her dull and screechy. I didn't find the "cleansy" sort of Tre-isms to be cute, stuff like that is grating to me. Then, it came out that she was a criminal. And then it came out that she was lying about being one, and the stuff they pulled with their tenants, screwing all the people who helped build their house out of money, etc. Basically, what I'm trying to say is that I don't find there to be much redeemable for Teresa. That said, I'm sure there are good qualities to her. Her kids really do seem to love her, so while I would make different choices as a parent, she is an engaged, hands on mom. I'm sure there's other stuff, I don't see it, and she doesn't really make me want to dig to find it. I don't know that I manifest any energy towards her either way. If the topic comes up, then, yeah, this is what I think about it. I don't feel she really gets what she did, I do not want to see her back on tv, as it seems to be rewarding her for being a criminal and it's a slap in the face to the people who did nothing wrong, but got screwed by the Guidices. However, I don't put any effort into thinking about her one way or the other, if it's not in front of me. And, more and more, I go out of my way to make sure she isn't in front of me. I won't be tuning in to RHONJ because she'll be on. And, you know, maybe that's really the biggest punishment, or the one that will get to Teresa the most. When she realizes that she's once again become irrelevant and her 15 mins are up and she has to figure out how to move on just like the people she screwed did. Only, those people likely don't think they "deserve" Chanel and Hermes, they were just trying to feed their kids. Who is going to care that Teresa can no longer have her Versace plates?

That's the other thing Eileen is failing to take into account. While she is wrapped up in the fact that Lisa isn't nailing her role in the apology scene Eileen has in her head, she has missed that Lisa hasn't done it again. When Eileen told her that she was upset about the situation, Lisa immediately apologized for it, despite the fact that Eileen had inserted herself into the conversation, hadn't stopped it, and didn't say, you know, I don't really want to talk about this. So, I can see Lisa's laugh as being a bit of a nervous/uncomfortable reaction, since it seemed like Eileen's objection came out of nowhere the next day. But, Lisa took it seriously, apologized, moved forward and didn't reoffend.

The thing with Eileen is that she doesn't understand that she only controls herself. She can't control other people or make them do what she wants. People like Eileen tend to have a set expectation of how an encounter will go, and if it doesn't go the way they "saw" it, they just keep trying until it happens that way. But, the variable is that the other person doesn’t actually have to play along with their vision, maybe they don't have the script, maybe they don't care at all, life just doesn't always get tied up with a neat little bow like that. And, honestly, that's sort of how I feel when people say that it was an apology until she said IF. I totally get that in some cases, saying that can negate the apology, but it doesn't ALWAYS mean that. I'm just as likely to say "I'm so sorry if I offended you" and mean it interchangeably with "I'm so sorry that . . " or "I'm so sorry for . . ." It's not insincere every time.

She keeps saying that Joe leased her the Lexus. I thought that they weren't allowed to take on new debt as part of their plea deal or sentencing. So, how is it that Joe was able to sign a lease for a new Lexus?

I went back and forth between early on and always knew. I do think that it's likely that Brooks threw it out there as a manipulation (like the story Tamra told of them in Hawaii) and she didn't know when he first said it, but she pretty much immediately found out that he didn't have it and then still ran with the story that he did. I really, really dislike the idea that the women should have to forgive Vicki. I hate forced forgiveness. You can't control other people, you can only control your reactions to them. If Vicki stays on the show and the women have to film with her, it basically tells her that she CAN do whatever she wants. There's no way for her to remain and for the women to have actual boundaries, they really aren't possible with someone like Vicki, not when she can do something like this. She may not be able to get in Heather's face and scream at her the way she does Tamra or Meghann, but she can still create lies that would damage her husband's professional reputation. And at the end of the day if they have to forgive her and go on as if nothing has happened, they are in a position where it doesn't matter how they feel, or that they've been wronged. They can't even really feel the way they want to about it, because look how Vicki spent a season telling them that THEY were the wrong ones, when she knew she was lying.

Except that they can do searches with various parts of the name. I know because I have an incredibly common name, both first and last. So, many times I will have a medical facility say they want to find me by last name, then try to expand to my first name when there are too many results by my last name. Even adding in my birthdate, I sometimes have to give my middle name to differentiate myself from other patients. But, it's usually a few searches, and I pop up in each of them, but it's too many "me" to narrow down to the specific "me" They could easily search Ayers and his birthdate and then narrow down any hits from there.