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Jodio

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Everything posted by Jodio

  1. I'm already on a year-round cocktail of preventative STD meds due to my trashy tv viewing habits. Kardashians. Have never missed a show. 'Nuff said. I'm all in for this show, however I need to get a vocal fry filter for my speakers because these women are driving me insane. I live in Canada, where the vocal fry isn't yet an epidemic, and I can't even imagine any of these women in a professional setting, giving presentations and participating in meetings, with those horrible voices and speech patterns. Okay, I'm just going to say it: I'm obsessed with Sarah's half arm. When she's on screen, I can't help but stare at it. And I was very excited when I got to see it swimming. I really wish she'd stop talking about having one arm because technically, she has one and a half arms. But if she thinks any of these shallow famewhores are going to fall for her, she's very mistaken. I loved the preview that explains crazy Michelle's exit. When they showed the two broken legs, I immediately thought about Misery, and pictured Michelle literally preventing a man from walking away from her. Literally. I see that AshLee is as cray cray as ever. I thought Graham was smart enough to run from the crazy after he barely escaped the nightmare that is Deanna, but he walked right into this one. Watching Graham repeatedly fail to be the perfect man (because the perfect man doesn't exist) and seeing AshLee's ensuing meltdowns should make for a very entertaining Clairadise.
  2. I'm pretty sure that trip to the temple marks the first time in history all the Kardashian women were out in public together and not one of them had their tits out. Well played, Thailand. A Buddhist miracle. As for Kim's faux concern for the orphans: Fuck you, bitch! If you really want to help them, why don't you throw some cold hard cash at them instead of Kardashian Kids Kollection Krappy Klothes that their little friends probably sewed for 5 cents a week and no bathroom breaks. During that whole publicity tour, I was secretly hoping that one of those sweet kids would lift one of their gaudy, ostentatious rings and finance the orphanage until the end of time. I really, really hate these people. Is North the Mr. Snuffleupagus of the show now? Can only Big Bird and her fleet of nannies see her?
  3. Georgeanna's husband's jacked up grill was horrifying. That is all.
  4. I laughed my ass of when she (or possibly Robyn) was saying that monogamists don't have as much fun as polygamists in a voice-over while they were playing Red Rover. Apparently Red Rover is the key to an exciting life and only available to polygamists. Red Fucking Rover.
  5. Actually, I think they both have been seen in scrubs. Doesn't Paulie work as a dental assistant?
  6. I'm assuming that you think they had a threesome with a drifter and then killed him with a hammer. Or is there another sex that shall not be named that I'm not aware of?
  7. If I ever want to shoot some hoops or rappel down the side of a building, I now know where to go: a casino! Who knew? Excellent advertising. I don't know where Andi went to law school, but I was waiting for someone from the Registrar's Office to ride up on horseback beside the olden times train and revoke her degree for dropping the "Dylan and I's..." bomb. Poor Dylan, he's way too raw for the famewhore dating game right now. I could feel his grief coming off my screen in waves. He really needs to get some grief counselling because he's in no place to be on a reality show or dating right now. I actually feel genuinely bad for him; the large cavern in my chest where my heart should be actually tremored when he told Andi about his family. I'm definitely on Team Andi when it comes to the Eric situation. RIP and all, but I absolutely hate guys who insult women in a passive-aggressive way and then are all "why are you so upset? You're taking it the wrong way. What did I do?" Total bullshit gaslighting behavior. Good on her for cutting him loose. I think he's a stealth drama queen and gets bored when he's not the center of attention because he's such a special snowflake, what with his world travelling and all. And then he totally pissed me off further with his monologue about love on his way out the door. He just totally destroyed a potential relationship and had absolutely no self-awareness about how he came across to her, then had the gall to say that he feels like he's really ready for love now. Did I mention RIP? RIP.
  8. Poor Cody, doing mental gymnastics trying to turn Andi's prank into something positive. The reality is, time spent punking is time not spent kissing. Cody is just harmless filler in a friendzone seat because half of Andi's soulmate equation does not equal a man who makes 50 cents an hour with no bathroom breaks working in a gym. Even though Josh is a greasy alpha male douchebag, I couldn't help but have a mini orgasm when he got all growly while they were making out. I bet he's an animal in bed. Andi better keep him at least until the Fantasy Suites so I can pray that they forget to unmike him during private times. Yowza! I laughed out loud at Andrew's surpise at being called out on his shenanigans. Obviously he thought they were all operating on "Man Code," wherein men ignore or encourage a lack of integrity in other men when it comes to women. He totally gave himself away when he said "I thought we were all in this together..." Asshole. He's totally the type of guy to lend his married buddy his apartment key for cheating purposes. I hope this red flag hangs over his head when he hits the streets after he's unceremoniously dumped for "not being there for the right reasons," which looks inevitable at this point.
  9. Okay, I brought my all my snark with me from TWoP, so here goes: Eric really pissed me off. I know I shouldn't speak ill of the dead, but I've been on the train to hell for a long time. First of all, nothing is more boring than being spoke at by a world traveller who will never let you forget that he's a world traveller. He really was pretty humorless and not a great conversationalist. And then when he told his story about Syria, I went from annoyed to enraged. There's healthy risk-taking and then there's just plain stupid. Going into a country ravaged by civil war so that you can check a country off your list is absolutely ridiculous. Even worse was posing as a journalist to get out of a quagmire of your own making. That's an insult to all the fine war correspondents who risk their lives for an actual purpose other than to feed their own egos. Jackass. RIP. Note to all contestants: you're not a hero for "not settling" when you're in your twenties and thirties and all shiny and unjaded. Nobody plans to settle, but when you get tired of drama and you want to have children, regular worry-free sex, etc. sometimes you're stuck with whoever's left standing. Not everyone in this world finds their perfect soulmate [/sarcasm], but people still want to partner up for other reasons. And I can't believe this 42-year-old singleton non-settler is now defending the settlers. This show is not good for my mental health, obviously. So far, I'm really liking Andi. She's a good conversationalist and I can overlook all the y'alls and stops for now. Good call on ditching the drunk, too. As a seasoned dater, I can tell you that anyone who gets that drunk early on when they're trying to impress you probably has a drinking problem and is testing the boundaries to see what you'll put up with.
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