My Friend Goo

Has Monique made any effort to befriend mothers with children of similar ages as hers outside of the cast? I don't follow any of their personal lives aside from any social media tidbits that gets posted on forums. Karen's children are young adults, Gizelle's girls are teens, I think that Robyn's sons and Wendy's sons are a bit older than Monique's eldest son, Candiace has no kids. That leaves Ashley but I believe that time will prove that tenuous alliance to be wholly transactional. Ex-friend Charisse's kids are young adults. I don't know if her ex-friend Gigi has any kids, but it does not escape me that Gigi was also a former aspiring rapper and evidently a vindictive gossiper. My speculation stems from the way that Monique has taken the rejection from this particular group very personally. To the point that she has violently lashed out, carried out an unrelenting smear campaign and is reaching back to not fitting in at school 20+ years ago to explain her feelings... There is a vast difference between not being popular, struggling to make friends, but fitting in where you can and being a social outcast which goes into the territory of social isolation, bullying, etc. I don't know where Monique wants the audience to believe her experience lands. As co-workers, the cast have to maintain relationships with each other (even just as fake friends), but I doubt that their emotional and social support is drawn primarily from each other with the exception of actual friendships like Robyn & Gizelle. (This is also why I wish Candiace would just accept that Karen was never really her friend.) Perhaps Monique should be seeking to make connections with women who can relate to her instead of women who are at different places in their lives and have very little in common with her. I wonder if she gets along with the parents of her children's classmates or does she not fit in with them either? Or is it that she does not see how any of those women would benefit her because they are too "regular" for her taste? I suspect that Monique does not value relationships that don't directly benefit her in a superficial or tangible way and therefore does not pursue friendships that may enrich her life in a more fulfilling manner. Frankly, if she wasn't stuck on her ambitions of fame, she would be more realistic about what could be best for her happiness. Depending on how she is trying to frame her story about not fitting in at school, it seems that she is starved for attention and has a strong desire to be celebrated for being rich & fabulous to make up for whatever she lacked in her childhood/adolescence. That didn't fly with this group because none of that matters to them. No one cares about a rags-to-riches story if one doesn't come from rags themselves. Monique was reminded of that when Gizelle asked if she was homeless, when Charisse wouldn't allow herself to be used as a stepping stone for Monique's social climbing and when Candiace wasn't swiftly dispatched for being a nuisance to her.

People who do not consider violence as an acceptable reaction to conflict do not want to be around people who do, nor should they be shamed for holding those values. They have every reason to believe that a violent person would repeat said behaviour, particularly when they've faced no consequences and have not expressed any remorse. The violent person's reasons for snapping become more unpredictable and change without warning. Imagine holding an event with your friends, family, colleagues and a person with a chip on their shoulder decides to flip out on another guest (someone who you love, care about and/or respect) for some offense? Most people, at the very least, would be embarrassed. For whatever reason, a lot of poorly-behaved adults do not understand this. Monique is not remorseful (not then or now) and that's her right, so what exactly are the others expected to support? They owe her nothing. She hasn't changed and it's her who they don't like. Despite Candiace being disliked, she still gets invited to socialize with the others. Even Ashley hugged her when she arrived at Wendy's event. Wendy's event was a networking opportunity. Women who are active in their communities were more than happy to discuss topics that affect their lives which extend beyond the literal act of voting. Many of them are likely wives and/or mothers (or women who have connections with wives/mothers around them) which would be the target demographic of Monique's brand. Not only as potential listeners, but potential guests on her podcast or women who could help promote her business. She would have been there if she hadn't burned her bridges. She hopes the people will come to her rather than her going to the people. Monique's event was a glorified meet-and-greet which very few people paid to attend. She mentioned that the gift bags were for VIP guests... if all of those people were invited (non-paying) guests, she's really hustling backwards. Monique does not realize that beauty and money will not buy her a ticket into the social circles that she desires to be a part of because she refuses to leave her hood logic behind. She also has not let go of her ambitions of fame and she's disgruntled with her life as a stay-at-home mom. Perhaps she thought that she could still pursue her rap dreams with Chris footing the bill when they got married, but three kids later, she resents that it never happened so she's cutting corners on another path to fame. She's wasting money on a lifestyle brand which lacks focus and direction. Why does she need a staff and office space for a podcast or merchandise line? Why is she printing flyers for a live event? Were they being handed out on the street to random people? Why is she having so many in-person events for a podcast? Why did she need a red carpet, photographers and a live band? Frankly, given the panelists and topics that we've seen, I'm not even sure if her podcast is aimed at moms anymore. She should have spent some of that $200k hiring someone with business expertise who could help get her brand off the ground organically. But really, she wants to skip straight to the flashy success so that she can feel important.

I appreciate the points made in the quoted posts + RealReality's post re: Remy Ma about controlling one's own actions, vicarious experiences, and cautionary tales. Most people are not knocking the heads of their annoying co-workers, neighbours, or strangers on the street because they are aware of the real legal repercussions and/or threat of retaliation, personal injury, loss of life. This is the true code that most people live by, not a fantasy one that they will only support online. The minority of people who do behave like that, more times than not, fuck up their lives with criminal records and lack opportunities for social mobility. In the long run, they are often relegated to only live and socialize among other people who behave like them. Not many people luck into money and status like Monique. I have no doubt that there are people who relish "keeping it real" and even feel more comfortable being around those who think like them with no desire to be around anyone different. I'm not certain if Monique truly is one of them. Otherwise, she wouldn't be trying to play the role of dutiful NFL wife, busy entrepreneurial mom, gracious host at weekend retreats to women who are not like her, etc. Furthermore, I think that there is a level of safety that the cast members feel when engaging in confrontations when the cameras are rolling (and the idea of the violence not being spontaneous to the audience like it is offline in person) that is contributing to a disconnect between what one professes they are okay with as it plays out on TV versus how one might actually react to a real-life situation. If Wendy had not removed the knife from Candiace's hand prior to the fight and somehow Candiace stabbed Monique during the scuffle, would the consensus have been that Candiace went too far or that Monique should have seen it coming because anything goes when engaging in battle? In fact, Candiace did make contact with the broken wine glass and if she had swung higher and damaged Monique's eye, would Monique be as smug about the outcome of the fight? Reading the responses in support of the "talk shit, get hit" code has reminded me of two incidents that have occurred this year: In the first incident, a young mother spotted the father of her children and his new girlfriend at a gas station, got out of the car she was in with her children and physically attacked the girlfriend. The girlfriend fired a gun and killed the young mother. In the second incident, yet another young mother confronted her friend's ex-girlfriend (at the ex's home), to fight on the friend's behalf, and was stabbed to death. In both cases, the deceased women had an axe to grind with their targets and felt justified in physically fighting them. Should they have known that their targets had a line that didn't stop at fist-fighting and extended to using weapons that would ultimately result in death? It is a slippery slope when trying to justify physical violence as the consequence of verbally disrespecting someone because one person's level of consequence (getting beat up) may differ greatly from another person's (literally fighting to the death). It does not compare to escalating a fight from verbal to physical. There's a reason why there are harsher legal and social repercussions for physical attacks than there are verbal attacks. IMO, Monique was 100% dead wrong. She saw Candiace as an easy target physically and socially (within the cast) which makes Monique an even bigger clown than Candiace. I'm also starting to believe that this points to some of the reasons why Chris' mom had such an issue with Monique.

No, you're definitely not alone on this. Without even getting into the in-depth discussion of genetics, Stephan has a distinct look (long face, pointy nose, beady eyes) that the kid doesn't have which stands out to me more than anything. Of course, babies can look more like one parent than the other, but the child looks NOTHING like him... like at all. Since he makes no effort to be a father anyway, why put himself in a position to be "finessed" for all of $120 per month or whatever it was for a child that might not even be his? Who knows... I can't unsee it.

I’m relieved that Kevin won. I couldn’t stand the guy in S3 and thought that he played a half-assed game this time around, but after Bruno’s eviction, I believe that he was the only person left who was actively playing for himself to win. William & Dre were sleepwalking, too afraid to make moves before it was too late. Jackie was spineless. Dillon was weak-minded and then had the nerve to be pissed when he was shown the door after not doing anything to prevent it. Karen explicitly stated that she wasn’t playing to win. I never really liked her after week 1 when I thought that she was sane, but the minute she started that “good/deserving” people BS, I wanted her lose badly. Both Ika and Demetres wanted each other to win more than themselves which imho isn’t romantic at all and is something that they will both be embarrassed by in about 6 months to a year when they’re nothing more than Facebook friends. Plus it was evident during the finale, that Kevin actually appreciated it the most. Beyond being happy for him, I'm elated that Ika and Demetres lost. It still cracks me up how cocky they were to say more than once to Kevin’s face that he couldn’t beat Demetres in a competition, followed by Kevin doing exactly that all the way to the end. I thought that Demetres was arrogant AF and the idea of him being some Prince Charming is just embarrassing. Ika played a far better game than she did in S2 (the bar being low already), but the early claims that she is a top-tier player on the level of Dr. Will are just ridiculous. Her game was very flawed, nearly blew up more than once, and her endgame strategy was basically for Demetres to win the last few challenges and take her to F2. On paper that doesn’t seem bad as it was working for her throughout the season, but it doesn’t factor in the presence of someone like Kevin and there’s always a “Kevin” in the late stage of the game. It’s just sloppy and while I acknowledge that they did try to eliminate him before the endgame, the second best option would’ve been to study which she couldn’t be bothered to do. Or at least focus on Demetres studying more than he apparently did. Hopefully over time and with some distance from this season, people will be able to look at her game more objectively instead of getting wound up in the entertainment of her game. Which… I honestly didn’t find Ika entertaining at all. She’s one of the few contestants on a reality TV show that I believe is actually rotten in real life. She mentioned that when she was promoted to manager at her job that it was a decision that was not “supported” by her co-workers. Why am I not surprised? It boggles my mind that people were actually scared of her “wrath”. Scared of being yelled at? There’s nothing she can do to you! I get that most people are not used to confrontation and in most situations in the real world, would walk away or avoid it. But this is Big Brother. I have no idea why this show always cast the biggest weaklings. It was actually infuriating to watch those lames feeding into her ego by being scared of her. I was also pretty disgusted by the favourable edit on the show. Favourable is an understatement. I expect that kind of thing from the US version, but Canada went above and beyond to paint Ika as the person that the audience should want to see win. Also, it was bad enough that they allowed crowd noises to leak more than once (which tainted the game from the DE onward) but they spun all of her nastiness as “fun sass”. My problem with all of that is there seems to be a certain archetype of black women that over all of my years of watching reality TV, I know without a doubt that a certain segment of the audience not only desires to see on these shows but will support beyond any reason. Why that is, I can only speculate. When a contestant doesn’t fit that mould, they will try desperately to assign certain characteristics to her actions anyway and if that fails, she’s dismissed as a flop. But when you have someone who not only embraces those characteristics but makes it her game, it’s like those fans have hit the jackpot. Then they can collectively clutch their pearls whenever someone disparages that contestant’s behaviour. As a WOC, I just don’t like it. Anyway, BB fans have always been extreme and kind of crazy. I think what’s saddest in this modern era is that they actually believe that gaining the adoration of some nut jobs on twitter is worth more than the actual prize money. There’s no fame to be had from BBCan. Aside from the cultural differences, I'm guessing that both families have reservations about the other person based on what was said in the house. Her emotional manipulation should be a huge red flag to anyone in his life that cares about him. While I think that his sister who ran his twitter was probably sincere in liking Ika, I wonder if she would be as supportive if Ika wasn’t popular. Plus Ika’s views on love, sex and relationships were cringeworthy imo. They would be for someone who was 22, let alone 32. It’s easy to be patient when you’re both restricted to one location and your game/emotional survival is so reliant on one another, but when he doesn’t have to put up with her mood swings, we will see how he deals with it. Her family is probably wary of some new guy who she has known for all of two months entering her kids’ lives for who knows how long. In a way he has already been “introduced” to them via the TV show. Let’s be serious… for the past two months, he has only seen her as a single, attractive woman which she is, but the reality of her kids has not had to be part of the equation. The guy is not looking to play step-daddy to two adolescents. Plus, she nearly threw her game away for him twice… She said that she was haunted by her poor moves as HOH in S2. Had she been able to execute such a dumb move this season, a year from now when Demetres is long gone, how ridiculous would she feel? (It’s also another big reason why I don’t think she’s a top-tier player.) It’s just not going to happen. They may love each other as people, but I doubt that they’re in love. I don’t think there is anything wrong with developing feelings in the house and enjoying the moment, but I kind of thought (like with most showmances) that they mostly looked foolish.

I thought that they were going for a "Who Shot Mr. Burns?" cliffhanger with various culprits taking their own initiative to assassinate Negan. I'm only slightly disappointed that we didn't get this.

I'm starting to regret my decision to start watching this show again. First, there is the very nasty implication in these accusations of a black woman's husband being gay which never go unnoticed by me. I completely agree with the observations made in the last episode's thread. Now, something must be "wrong" with a 28-year-old black man if he doesn't have a litter of kids with some woman (or multiple women) who isn't or hasn't ever been his wife? Matt calling the other guys women was icing on the cake. These people are gross. ETA: spelling

Or they're looking at the clothes. That's actually what most of the audience (editors, journalists, buyers, basically anyone who isn't a celeb looking for a photo op) go to see.

My thoughts exactly. I don't think the show has an agenda against "fat, unattractive" Catfish. (Maybe the "fat" part, but unfortunately in North American society that usually falls under the "unattractive" category unless for women one has an hour-glass figure and can still be viewed as sexy.) Is this not the most likely demographic to spawn a Catfish? A person who is attractive in looks and/or personality and more importantly has the confidence to believe they are attractive even if they aren't "10s" by conventional standards will not be setting up profiles on social media with stolen photos of someone they believe is better looking. Unless they're crazy or have some other motive which is far more uncomfortable to watch. And of course the catfishee would be more forgiving if the catfish turned out to be hot. We're talking about people who fall in love with photos and let their imagination/desperation do the rest of the work. Sure they are having these heart-felt conversations with the person, but to want to marry someone, drop out of school, put your whole life on hold, etc. for someone that you've never met in person or even a Skype-like communication is absolutely delusional. I really did have sympathy for both Michele and Devan as it was apparent that they are both very lonely and socially awkward. Less so for Devan because I always feel like the catfishee suspends disbelief beyond reason, but there was still some sympathy. They both need to find some way to break out of their shells (which I understand is easier said than done) and not allow this online fantasy world to consume their lives. Indeed I think that she is pretty and the bolded part is perhaps a reason that supposedly "no one" was responding to her when she was using her own photos. The accusation of being superficial can go both ways. I was relieved that Michele wasn't crazy, but using photos of someone that is your friend's friend does not sit right with me because it's so deliberately deceitful and there is less of a disconnect than using a complete stranger's pics, but no more or less wrong. I'm guessing her issues with her looks and being biracial have a lot to do with the area that she lives in and rejection from her deadbeat father. Perhaps she does not have much interaction with her paternal family, assuming that it is her father who is black and she was raised primarily by her white maternal family because I don't think she would have that same desire to be just white otherwise. ETA: For clarity, if she's not attracted to black men, then by "no one" she meant none of the white/non-black men she was hoping would talk to her.