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dancemomfan

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  1. First, second, third...this heavy emphasis on competition and rank and favouring the highest scorers is not healthy. Abby, being the classic narcissist that she is, wants to WIN and be adored and glorified at all costs; that is, at the expense of the well being and happiness of the children. And that means she pits one against the other as a means of motivating them to work harder...so that SHE can dominate in the competitive dance world. The kids aren't motivated in a positive way. They are humiliated, degraded, beaten down and ABUSED. You see when they make a mistake how they come off stage in tears AFRAID of Abby's wrath. They are being trained to succeed in order to please someone else. Very unhealthy. I don't know much about the dance world but it is similar to the music world. But the top studios actually will limit and even eliminate competition in order to focus on technique. At Juilliard, one can spend a year on one piece, perfecting it by isolating technical parts. And so it should be...and probably is in dance, with the focus on the student and his or her mastery of the technique, not on how many firsts can we get in the next competition. No wonder so many of these dancers look back on their experience with Abby as so negative. Sensitive and beautiful dancer Chloe was beaten down so badly by Abby I expected child welfare to intervene. I am sure she and others are scarred for life and have quit dance (like ultra talented Brynn Rumfallo) and associate dance with fear and humiliation. I wish Dance Moms would show mothers who support each other, a strict but fair teacher and talented dancers. I would love Dance Moms if this were so.
  2. As a Canadian, I may offend Americans with my comments. I hope not. I have been watching Dance Moms for several years because I love to see the dancers. I wish they would show more of the dance lessons, performances but NO conflict. My first question is, 'Is it possible that the mothers are really vicious...or are they being paid to act vicious?' We see mothers like the psychologist mother of the tiniest dancer who is for the most part polite and respectful...unless responding to hateful comments by the others. Nia and Maddie's mothers used to be gracious, diplomatic and peace loving...but no more! What gives? What I want to know is if it is common in American dance or music studios or sports teams to lash out at one another and play up one's own child and his or her talents? And...this is where I may offend, is this an American phenomenon? Up here in Canada we are horrified by Trump's attitude and hate filled speech...which is mirrored in ALDC's parent observation room. I also watch glitzy competition cooking shows and see Americans who say things like, "My competitor couldn't make a soufflé if his life depended on it. Mine will be the best!". WHO speaks that way? On the Canadian equivalent show, people say, "I'm sure my competitor will do well. She is so good at soufflés and I wish her well." Back to Dance Moms; in the US is it normal that parents applaud the loudest for their own children? When my daughters played in violin and piano recitals, of course I applauded but to be modest, respectful and gracious, no louder than anyone else. And as parents we always say something nice about the performances of other children. NEVER would we say anything negative. In Europe, you would also never see this Dance Moms vicious behaviour. And as far as Abby goes, her influence and position as a role model is horrendous. She is doing more than harming the children. This is abuse! Bravo to those mothers and daughters who left. It must be fun to be on the show...but at what cost? If Abby isn't abusing the girls and mothers, the mothers lash out and abuse one another...and their children. A very toxic environment. I am particularly sorry to see Maddie and Mackenzie's mother saying how wonderful Maddie is. She didnt fall into that trap for a long time. If Maddie were my daughter (and I have a very talented, hard working violinist daughter) I would NEVER let her hear me say that she is the best of the group. So I want to raise an arrogant, rude brat? Please someone let me know if this behaviour...or even a watered down facsimile is common in dance and music studios and sports teams in the United States? I am bewildered.
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