laurakaye

To each their own, but it's clear as day that she hadn't washed her hair in days when she posed oh-so-deep-and-thoughtful for this photo. Greasy hair with blond roots showing and sallow skin does not scream "WELLNESS" to me. Pudge dropped the ball on the filter this time. Also, shut up, Sludge.

LOL, not sure about you guys, but I have ads for US Support Animals popping up on the threads now!

Cook Islands will forever be my favorite season ever because Ozzy. Joe is pretty, but it would be great to see him make some moves rather than be out there for the third time just for the experience of playing. Malcolm had more of a hunger to win than either Ozzy or Joe, and I would love to see him return as well. Ooh, sneaky Probst! I missed that. I wonder which players will catch on and realize that being voted out doesn't mean you're out for good. Reem rubbed me the wrong way when Keith innocently mentioned that she seemed like a mother figure and she about sliced his head off with her "I don't ever want you to call me that, EVER." Way too harsh, IMO. And pretty much the minute she opened her mouth at TC, the rest of her tribe started exchanging glaces as if to say, "Yup, she gone." Not sure how you can be a fan of the show and not understand that being so abrasive is the perfect excuse for your tribemates to give you an early boot. I loved David's confessional that in his first season, he was afraid of everything, and now people are looking to him to help them figure out what to do. I would love a scenario where he and Aubrey connect at the merge and figure out how to move forward together. That said, any Survivor is better than no Survivor. I was all ready with my lemonade pie and still wanting to pick up the phone to call my mom to remind her that it was on again. 🙂

Well, then -go dig out your grubbiest sweater, don't wash your hair for three days, and let's see a post with you staring in adoration at some broccoli!

Wow....so you have to watch for the ones that are openly hostile and awful (Meri) as well as the ones that are silent but deadly (Robyn). It's honestly amazing that all polygamist's wives can sleep at night, what with constantly having to watch your back, be both mother and father for your kids, and scuffle for priority wife status. No wonder so many of them eat their feelings. What a horrible way to go through life.

I missed where Christine said that she fasted for three days. As much as I sort of want to admire Christine for her faith in Kody - to the extent that she actually thinks that fasting will change his mind - I also want to smack her for it. She had to have known that nothing she did was going to change Kody's "one for all and all for one" mindset. If Kody didn't notice that Meri almost passed out and had a nervous breakdown right in front of his eyes when they toddled off to sign divorce papers, I doubt it even entered his pea-brain that Christine was fasting on his behalf. The comment about him getting things done while his wives were gone ticked me off to no end. I'm sure his "getting things done" equated to him finally having time to deep-condition his hair in private, untangling multiple light strings for safe transport to their next cuddle-sac, and flitting from house to house looking for his favorite pair of stonewashed jeans. He's useless. And finally, I love how you post in Robyn's vernacular. 🙂

Of course, this division of land makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. Just what we've come to expect from these morons. Pass the popcorn when we get to the episode where Meri manages to finagle the second biggest piece of land for her 5-bedroom, 4-bath house with wet bar, walk-in closet and a room specifically designed for her to do her LuLaNo live shows.

Gotta be Dayton, because in this episode all the talk was of them moving back to Utah. I think they ended up in Flagstaff because that's where Dayton wanted to go...but I cannot wrap my mind around why it was okay to yank Janelle's and Christine's kids out of school for the sake of Dayton. Wouldn't that be a breeding ground for sibling resentment? I know Kody doesn't care because children's feelings are for his wives to worry about, but can it be true that Robyn really is that evil? Hahaha stupid question, as she is currently living in a 7 bed/7 bath house. Silly me.

Seriously? Wow, 10 - 12 pm is MY grumpy time, if I'm not solidly in dreamland by then. Yes indeed, we know who wears the teeny pink unicorn pants in this family. Loved your ENTIRE post! As viewers, we can certainly gain solid intel just by watching the body language within this group. Hell, look at Meri on the couch - contrast this past episode from when she didn't yet have her Parowan house. Night and day. Then - pouty, sulky, arms wrapped around herself, not looking at anyone, foot jiggling like mad...and now? She's just about as happy and chatty as Janelle on Christine's meds.

For a family this large and THISCLOSE to financial catastrophe, I don't think they need to be worrying about what might happen if the grown kids come to visit. So put one wifey in a bigger house for this reason alone, and put the rest in houses that are logical to the size of their current family. It's asinine to put Meri in a house with more than two bedrooms. Janelle only has two kids currently at home. Christine and Robyn legitimately need larger houses. I don't care how much Meri whines about her spirit babies, she has no need for a manse that matches her sister wives...although that said, I am here with popcorn for her next woe-fest when it comes to Meri getting what she thinks she deserves. With Kody all of a sudden worried about how he's going to pay for Ariellola's wedding in 20 years, and as the leader and braintrust of this group of dimwits, the above logic seems like it would eventually have to make its way into the dark recesses of his caveman brain. I wonder if Robyn has already squashed the idea of having houseguests family underfoot. I guess it would also be awkward if Kody goes looking for some Robyn funtimes, only to have Janelle making popcorn just down the hall and Meri doing LulaNo live shows in the den. But it's just ridiculous that Robyn is renting the home that the entire family should be living in, at least while their next set of interest-only McMansions are being built. You'd think that at least one of these "adults" would get it through their thick skulls that just because they WANT separate houses doesn't mean that's what they can afford. I'd have to imagine that the Brown kidults (except Sludge) must all collectively understand that if they need money for school, rent, etc. - they are on their own from now on.

This is exactly what I want to see! I found Meri's wet bar temper tantrums hysterical. But this time, I want to see all four women demand special features. Meri, of course, will need a five-bedroom house to store all of her LulaNo. Christine should demand that her basement be turned into a fully-equipped wrestling gym. Robyn needs a castle to house King Sol and Princess Arabellola and Janelle needs an underground tunnel from her bedroom to her garage so she doesn't ever have to go outside. How long did we spend listening to Janelle babble about how she didn't want to wear a hat in public? Ten minutes? More? We get it, Janelle. Things like dancing in public, wearing a hat, not being able to go fishing on your daughter's wedding day and going to Hobby Lobby freak you out. Just sit there like the Eeyore that you are and stay quiet. She's the human embodiment of a dark cloud. Hahahahahaha! These are the Browns we're talking about! They are fascinating polygamists and their show is going to run forever! They have no need to conserve funds like us regular monogamists! But seriously, this is exactly what they should've done. I will never fathom how they can spend money on these expensive rentals while still paying four mortgages and buying land to build houses. Who is loaning them all this cash?

When the Brown adults all moved in for the famb'ly prayer/hug, did anyone notice that - although Kody and Meri were next to each other - Kody's hand was stretched out all the way on Robyn's shoulder, thus avoiding touching Meri altogether? Also, did anyone besides me wonder what that circle must've smelled like? I'm thinking stale hummus breath, unwashed hair, self-tanner and misery.

Wait - what?!?? "Some things may never be safe?" First of all, I really hate the Browns throwing around the word "safe." But for Kody to put this tweet out to the public is so incredibly vain, heartless and stupid, I can't even. "Safe" from what? From one of his wives killing him in his sleep? Look, Doofus, you married four women and you know that they all have very natural issues with jealousy, even though they are supposed to suppress those emotions in the name of religion and to make them a better person or some such crap while King Kodork gets to flit from bed to bed with nary a care. So for him to post this - what are we supposed to think? Poor widdle Kody can't go all caveman on Robyn while Christine is in the room? Can't snuggle up to Janelle if Meri is lurking? I mean, as self-imposed Leader and General of the Brown fam'ly, he should be able to do whatever he wants and his wives simply need to find a way to dill with it. So what's this tweet supposed to accomplish, other than give your wives a nice, passive shout-out while simultaneously pounding your man-chest? What a complete jerkwad buffoon. I loathe him.

What?!?? 7 beds/7 baths? You have got to be kidding. WHERE are they getting all of this invisible money? It boggles the mind.

Robyn could teach a Master's level university course on The Art of the Passive-Aggressive Dig. Honestly, this woman is a professional. I can't say that I've seen anything like her in all my years of guilty-pleasure bad reality tv watching. She is both revolting and strangely fascinating. And if her chin gets any larger, it's going to curve upwards and touch her nose. I think you mean "King Sol." Because that's who Kody WANTS to take care of. Did anyone catch Janelle talking about how her kids left at home were 13 and 16 and Kody kind of suggested that his presence wasn't needed at her house while she was gone? I mean, no - Janelle's kids aren't toddlers but Janelle seemed to suggest that it was no big dill if Kody didn't make his presence known for her kids, what with him being so busy counting the sh!ts that Sol and Araibelliola take on a daily basis. I wholeheartedly believe that Kody is going to start sniffing around Meri again. With Meri doing things independently of Kody, I think that's going to ruffles his man-feathers and he's going to want to bring her back into the fold (ew, but you know what I mean). Plus Skinny Wifey's looks are quickly going by the wayside and I doubt that she's going to birth him any more babies. It wouldn't surprise me that the more elusive Meri becomes, the more Kody's going to want her back. Just a hunch. Well, let's see...based on what we heard last night...Montana to Wyoming to Utah to Montana back to Wyoming to Utah to Montana to Idaho back to Wyoming then Utah then Wyoming then Utah then Nevada. I'm guessing but it sounded like they've moved more than a dozen times.

Clearly, you missed Page One of Kody's Kinkos Presentation - (paraphrasing) "If we move, we ALL move and stay together because I am your LEADER!!" With the stupidest hair imaginable. I didn't think his hair could get worse but now that he's shaved the sides, the long perm-damaged straw looks like it's flowing from the tuft on top of his head like a deranged haystack. He looks better with it gathered into a delicate ballerina bun on top of his stupid head. That presentation, you guys...how on earth all four women kept a straight face, I have no idea because I was LOLing myself right off the couch: "Wives, I am passing out booklets that are an exact copy of the presentation that sits majestically on an easel only a few feet in front of you. Do NOT turn the pages until I say so! NO READING AHEAD. Because LEADER = ME. Here's the dill - I want to do something that starts with an M and rhymes with PROVE. Anyone? Christine - YES. You said "MOVE." That's a phenomenal idea, we should MOVE. Good job, Christine, I never would have thought of that until you said that word out loud. Don't panic, but by the time we all leave this meeting, there will be FOR SALE signs in front of each of your houses because if we're going to move, we're going to do it by next week Thursday. The kids? What about them? Moving builds character! They'll be fine. Now listen - we are moving back to Utah for the 14th time in 20 years. YES I SAID UTAH, Christine. Why? Because they can chase us out of Utah amidst the distant wails of an unrelated ambulance, but when I run for Governor - then what are they gonna do with us? Yes, I am running for office! In Utah! So while you all break it to the kids, I am going to lay down for a nap because I spent nearly 20 minutes at Kinkos arguing with the kid behind the counter over which font to use on this presentation. Wake me up when dinner's ready."

Hard to take a guy seriously as a leader when he has a Shirley Temple perm. What an ass.

Sign me up for another season of Sister Wives if it involves Meri whining and pouting when Kody tells her that no, he actually cannot afford to rent out a castle for Sludge & Pudge's nuptials and fly all 7,500 guests in via private jets! Hahahahahaha, pass the popcorn, y'all!

Although I think Meri would be perfectly happy to continue living this lifestyle if the Kodester would divorce the skinny one and re-legally marry Meri. Put her back in place as HBIC and I think she smiles all the way to Parowan and back.

What, exactly, are these bozos doing when it comes to buying, selling and renting houses? They have four houses in Vegas and perhaps one of them has sold. So they fluff on over to Flagstaff, where Christine rents a house, possibly meant to be the grandkids' lair (who buys a house for their grandkids?! I get it, they're eventually going to have 143 grandkids but not for several years down the road). They also apparently have some sort of magic beanstalk that allowed them to buy lots to build more brand-new houses. None of the wives needs a house to contain all of their kids anymore, since most have flown the coop. So they could easily buy one or two large houses and share (I don't care if they don't wanna, boo hoo, we can't share a kitchen 'cause reasons! Waaaa!) but tough sh!t! This is the lifestyle they've all married into. Unless they have a secret vault full of gold, I cannot wrap my brain around how they are able to afford this type of extravagance. No way is TLC giving them enough to pay mortgages on anywhere from 4 to 9 houses at the same time...so how are they managing on a salary made up of green goo, holey leggings and ugly jool'ry? Also, do we know if they are building on another plot of land like they had in Vegas, so they can all live across the street rom each other, yet still drive separate cars when they go to therapy and such? Hopefully Kody will still be able to string lights in between all four houses. I know I am holding my breath on that one.

"Thank you for birthing all 19 of our kids" squicks me right the heck out. I know, being a birthing machine is what makes Michelle so appealing to the studly JB, but come on. We all know where this passel of offspring came from, no need to shout it from a public love letter to your broodmare. Gross.

That picture of Janelle is the cherry on top! "Breathed a sigh of relief out of one nostril." 😂

She dropped six grand and all we get from her is the Google-fad-of-the-day and her moping about how she can't finish decorating her damn Christmas tree? Wow. Money well spent there, Eeyore. I hope Savannah doesn't need braces.

At the heart of it is that in polygamy, the women have to sit quietly by and watch as their husband cheats on them in front of their very eyes in the name of "religion," while the wives cannot do the same. And if a woman in polygamy is not having her emotional needs met by her bed-hopping husband, that's HER FAILING. The men, however, don't have to worry about silly imaginary things like female emotions. If one wife is being a PITA, he can simply skip on over to another bedroom. I personally think Kody was finished with Meri the day she told him that she had decided not to take up Robyn's Rent-A-Womb offer.

Oh yeah hey, Mariah! Of course we all know you! I myself have totes NEVER seen you without a hydroflask in your hand, LOLZ! 'Cause that's how you roll! And whoa - thanks for the warning that if you catch me with a plastic water bottle, you'll make fun of me! I would NOT enjoy that! But hey, listen - if you ever do see me with the dreaded, non-sustainable plastic bottle, can I in turn make fun of your ludicrous sense of self-importance as well as your insane Sharpie-stenciled eyebrows? I mean, would that be good? 'Cause we're cool, right? See you at the avocado coffee shop, bae! Smooches!!