coops

The sheer joy Lisa Rinna gets from being a bully is fairly disturbing. I'm not even talking about the stupid soap opera "I will hunt you DOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWN!" I'm talking about gnashing her teeth with glee like some hungry ogre across the table from Sutton at dinner claiming that everyone thinks she is a bitch, or scared of her and declaring how much she loves to torture Sutton. You just know if Lisa Vanderpump walked back onto the show at any given moment Rinna would instantly transform into the weaselly creature she was back when the real alpha female was on the show.

Yep. When people are in your home, particularly if they are staying over, they are in your power. Okay none of these women are going to be undemanding guests but HOLY SHIT Dorinda is acting like the governor of a high security prison ''NO FOOD IN THE CELLS!'' Chasing people as they cry into their rooms... she should be ashamed.

I think Dorinda is attempting to be savvy with who and when she blows up on. Vicky and Tamra are annoying together and can be mean girls so she shoots off at them for talking in unison. Jill, known all too well for always being pushy and wanting to be included, gets Dorinda on the rampage for pestering to get included in the radio thingy. The trouble is Dorinda's jumping on the other women in an all consuming rage is actually far worse behavior than anything the others are doing to begin with. Then she literally chases them up or down the stairs, smirking as they burst into tears. Poor Jill, never the most sympathetic woman, gets chased by what looks like a manic rottweiler barking, 'YOU'RE WEAK!' Jill's startled squeaks of, 'I am weak!' reminds of the bullied kid in school desperately agreeing with the bully in the hope they'll give up and go away. Pretty despicable behavior in school but a grown woman acting like this in her own house? Dorinda needs to be ejected, not paused.

Leah was spot on the money when she said all of them were one drink away from a mugshot. The fact Dorinda has somehow managed to avoid getting a mugshot is literally mindboggling and should have it's own episode dedicated to it on netflix's unsolved mysteries.

Which is why Dorinda is a perfect example of a bully. And she knows she is ,deep down. If believes that Tinsley is "of course" intimidated by her because she's intimidated by a butterfly why not just leave her alone? If she were going up against a Bethenny Frankel, yes, by all means you better go all in or get crushed into dust but for Tinsley?

I like seeing this side of Ramona more too. She can be quite motherly and give really good advice when she wants to. She can also be a real pain but I imagine that a lot of the shenanigans happen only because she is on TV. Like when she constantly brings up John up to no good to Dorinda, I see that clearly as trying to create a storyline. In real life I doubt she would do that to her friend. I think that's where Dorinda's anger with Tinsley 'not being honest' comes from. She's trying to get her to admit being a paid girlfriend or whatever on camera to create drama for the show and is annoyed maybe Tinsley is keeping some of her life off camera and sees it as 'well, you're getting paid to air your dirty laundry like the rest of us honey, so spill.'

I like the women's drunken antics when it's literally a funny moment or memorable one liner like "what are you doing here without Dorinda?" or "CLIP CLIP CLIP!" Those are great moments of tv when the women aren't even trying to be funny it's just a genius moment that gets immortalized. Bravo don't need to pay these women thousands of pounds if they want the kind of antics in this episode filmed, they could just go down to the nearest park after dark and film school kids getting wrecked on the cheapest vodka they can find.

I don't remember Sonja getting arrested, somehow it went under my radar. So many of these women's issues in life are down to drinking. Which is why I find it hilarious every season they all gleefully select someone to have a drinking problem and act all concerned about it. Most of them have a serious drinking problem.

Can you imagine if 4 or 5 out of your social group all had mugshots? I wonder how these women are viewed by the rest of the UES? I pretty much just watch this show for the staggering irony of how the women deal with life Mugshots? No problem, its totally fine! Tattoos? Abominable! Oh, how ghastly!

She barely has so far this season! She's watched the last season by now and knows they played that drinking game where they had to drink every time she mentioned cabaret!

All of the ladies look unflattering in their talking heads this season, I don't know whether its a new make up department or whatever. Sonja looks pretty decent in the actual filming of the show but in her talking heads she looks so much older, same goes for Luanne. Usually its the talking heads where they look better to the point that they don't even look real.

I've dished out some awards... Star of the episode: Even before Sonja got bat shit drunk she was coming out with some amazing one liners "I lost my shit, sorta like Dorinda does every fifteen minutes," "and then you die and you catch some dick on the way, I mean the dick's good," "Oh, it's for sale? No wonder we're invited," "I just need to see your driver's licence and we're good to go!" Yes, Sonja keep 'em coming, but don't try and steal other people's iconic moments like the "clip clip clip." Other than that she played a blinder. In every housewives episode you want someone come out with some great one liners, get bat crazy drunk, cut through all the bullcrap and tell it like it is, and Sonja managed to do ALL of these things. She totally had it right when she was talking about Ramona and her fancy friends. That mansion might have been amazing but that party was boring. Bitch of the episode: Luanne. Dear god, what is it with her and rooms? I still stand by what I said about her last episode, the allocation of the rooms is to her what a dressing room is to an actress. She's an original cast member who thinks she entitled to a star dressing room and balks when she doesn't get one. The 'lower level' is bigger than my entire flat. If people stay at mine they have to sleep on the sofa. It just makes you wish she had gone to prison and we'd be able to see her reaction to being put in a piss stained dorm. Idiot of the episode: Ramona. Find something better to do in your life than social climb and flirting with boring rich men, then you won't be breaking down in tears feeling like you did when you were sixteen. This is why Sonja won the episode for me, she was spot on about Ramona hanging out with a rent-a-crowd. When your young and dumb it's fun to be popular then you get a bit older you realize it doesn't matter because none of those people are your real friends and couldn't give a damn about you. Most people have come to this conclusion by their mid twenties. At this rate it'll Ramona's decaying skeleton that will have that epiphany. Truth teller: Dorinda talking about how tacky it is to tour around your own mansion. If I had a mansion like that you bet I would be giving everyone a tour, but I'm not a multi millionaire. When people have that kind of wealth it's kind of icky when they flaunt it. The whole party was tacky because some big sales pitch to sell the house.

I'd argue he would have got even more hate if that tragedy had involved a young girl instead of a young man. Older gay men with a much younger gay partner is actually quite common, people might have been more alarmed to see Joe with a young woman. If the reaction to Joe's eulogy had been "that's totally normal for gays, gay people talk about their balls, that's normal for them at a funeral. He's gay, why wouldn't he burst into song?" THAT would be homophobic/ignorant. Being disgusted with Joe for not giving Travis the respect he deserved at his funeral isn't. I can't get over how much of a tragedy it was and the person least affected by it seems to be Joe, married a few months later. How Joe picks these young men fresh out of school and feeds them drugs and entices them with tigers is disgusting, regardless of the fact he's gay. It's just as creepy with the other tiger man who has all the wives.

Oh god, I really want to listen but I also don't, if you know what I mean. What we saw in the documentary was already bad enough. Take the scene where someone tried to "kill" Joe by putting something on his shoes so that tiger went all crazy over them. It was pretty scary to watch him get dragged around by that tiger, but the abuse he gave that poor creature in that scene was WAY worse than anything that tiger was doing to him. Those things can rip your whole leg off if they want to. We saw someone's arm get ripped off. Nothing like that happened to Joe, the tiger was just obsessed with his shoe. He was hitting the tiger on the head with its stick and shooting his gun and screaming at them even after they backed off. Seeing as the tigers could have easily killed him if they wanted to they must have been way more afraid of him than he was of them.

That's when I literally had to stop saying to myself "this documentary cannot get any weirder..." every time I thought it couldn't someone would die or get murdered or plot an assassination attempt or break into song. I honestly expected the final episode to be about aliens coming down from outer space to kidnap the tigers while singing Celine Dion's greatest hits.