Wow, I made a huge mistake waiting so long to watch this. I fell behind this season and figured I'd catch it on Netflix, but then found out that it would only be up in like November, so I knew I couldn't wait that long. So I planned to use...other means of seeing the last three episodes. But then I saw elsewhere that someone was feeling as if they had been queerbaited "just like in The Magicians" and I realized: someone died. The sadness expressed in the post I saw convinced me it had to be death, and so I tried to prepare myself for them to kill Elliot. I wasn't happy about it and it seemed like a waste, but it seemed like it was basically confirmed.
Then I caught the episode where QnA get back together and had to laugh at myself. Lol, I was jumping to conclusions. I was overreacting, overthinking. I was hearing hoofbeats and thinking zebras. TBH, I was a little surprised that the person's post I'd seen was so bitter about the ending just because they weren't together for the time being, but they'd still be in each other's lives once Quentin saved Elliot.
Then I watched the finale.
I don't think I've ever felt so gutted by a character death. Live-action TV, anime, book reading, video games. All of them contained shocking deaths, and yet the one that hit the hardest was this poor, self-conscious, anxious and depressed young man who started the series institutionalized for an attempt and ended it dying to stop someone who wasn't even the final boss. And the moment he showed up in Penny's office I knew he was going to ask if the culprit was his mental health, and I knew they were going to butcher the answer.
Quentin Coldwater died by suicide. I'm sorry to anyone who wanted Quelliot; I did too. But apparently the story they wanted to write was one where this guy who always tried to do what was right, even if he didn't always understand how or why, even if he was supremely outclassed by all his enemies and the people who wanted to see him fail, decided his life wasn't inherently worth enough, and then had it reinforced by the narrative. So I probably won't be back TBH, and it'll be hard for me to watch another Sera Gamble show. Heck, it makes me want to stop writing, even, because after a glance at Twitter, I would never want to inadvertently hurt people the way that she has.
From what I've read, Jason is doing great work fighting homelessness now, and I wish him the best. I hope that the show is still enjoyable for the people who will continue into S5. I don't want it to be poisoned like it is for me. But it is poisoned for me, and I just don't know. Maybe I'll give it an episode--I know people have theories regarding the Dark Lord in Fillory--but I don't think I have it in me to really engage with it anymore.