LostControl

Lexie is absolutely right!! How can Dean 'step up' and do the right thing when the 'right thing' is constantly changing?? First she wants a stay-at-home husband like her new business partner - but she doesn't trust him home with the kids, so they need multiple nannies. Then she wants him out working so that she's not the sole breadwinner - but she had a hissy fit when he went to Canads to work, and now when he did a few days as a guest on CSI, she was in the hospital - which must have made working a lot harder on Dean. She wants him with the kids, but gets upset and doesn't think he loves the kids as much as she does. He's basically told he's not capable of handling 4 kids alone, but then she goes away for a weekend and 2 weeks in hospital, leaving him on his own. I'm confused and I'm not an ex-alcoholic /crack addict. I can understand why he's so darn confused. Can anyone tell me how on Earth this woman thinks she's a better parent than Dean??? He's been seen cooking for them, holding a tea party with them, playing at Hattie's party, going fishing, riding bikes, in the backyard on the play structure, etc.. The ONLY time I've seen her do anything with them is the scrapbooking fiasco where she had her hysterical crying meltdown. Right there you can see how damaged the two older kids are - they're sitting on the bed scrapbooking and mommy suddenly breaks down and starts sobbing - and they just go right on scrapbooking - as if this sort of behaviour happens daily. You can't tell me these kids aren't already scarred from Tori's parenting.

Tori has done 10 years of 90201, movies, 5 books, and I don't know how many Tori&Dean shows. She's more successful than many actresses in Hollywood. She must be getting residual and royalty cheques coming in fairly often. The problem is, as Dean has pointed out many times, is that she doesn't know how to stop spending. She's said herself that she's the only person who can spend over $100 at a dollar store, or $100 at a convienence store when she went in for a bottle of water. Stop the $10,000 a month rent on the house. Stop the $20,000 rental at Malibu in the summer. Stop the private schools, the 3 nannies and housekeeper. Stop the $6000+ a month in storage fees for you 127 storage lockers. For God's sake, Dean grew up in social housing in Toronto. I'm sure he would happily live in a 2000 sq foot house (not small by any means, but not the 9000 sq feet they are in now). They probably would be happier in the long run because they wouldn't have to work as hard to maintain it all. Also - Am I the only one who notices that all her kids birthday parties have 'sponsors'? At Hattie's party there were Balloons, cake, flowers, facepainting, etc., all mentioned by name - so she could get them all free. The same with the backyard play structure, and the cute matching beds last season. This woman loves doing these shows for all the free products she gets.

At the end of the show last night my main thought was that Dean has to take those kids and get far away from Tori. It's pretty obvious why Dean was suicidal and wanted to have an affair a year ago - Tori doesn't allow him to have friends or hobbies, and berates the hell out of him. No wonder - upon finding a nice young girl who would pay him a little attention - that he had an affair. I think any of us would have in the same situation. I think the only reason he's staying at the moment is that she's the money maker. The way things are going, even that won't be the case anymore. Get out now Dean while the kids are still young!

I wonder what Candy was like as a mom? She seems fairly normal from interviews I've seen of her - it makes me wonder if Tori is so needy that no matter how much love and affection she got maybe it wouldn't be enough. That explains why her and Dean get along so well - she constantly craves attention, he craves constant sex. It probably also explains all the kids - there's always at least one to hug and hold, that wants her attention. In the end Tori has got to get a "good" psychiatrist to tell her that she can't always get attention from others. You have to feel content being alone as well. Dean can't provide 24/7 attention for her - or he will have to go back to that crack habit just to have the stamina to keep up

"Well, I was going to bring you children home the cutest little Smurf bus, and you could have played with it, and had parties with it, and taken it to school to show all your friends. Mommy wanted SO much to get it for you, but mean uncle Mehran said you guys couldn't have it. You're not worth spending $5 on. " Tori - you realize if you never TELL the children about the stupid Smurf bus, they'll never know about it. It's you that's torturing your own children if you mention it. Just SFU about it.

Honestly I can't think of much I've ever seen Tori do with the kids. It's Dean who had a tea party with them, Dean jumping in the bouncy house, Dean fishing, Dean riding bikes, etc. All I've seen Tori do is baking and crying while scrapbooking. A few thoughts: Does Tori get Dean's approval when hiring staff? Whatever happened to her real friends (guncles? Brandy? Jenny? She mentioned all these people in previous shows and in her books. Who are these 'new lifelong best friends?' Why did they make a big stink about Jack inviting 90 people to his party (and ultimately limited it to 50), when it was obvious more than that was at Hattie's party? Why does a 3-year-old need a multi-thousand dollar party? Why does a 3-year old get a more expensive birthday party than my wedding? And finally , why on earth does Tori think a glass I water can get rid of a migraine? Time to head upstairs and pull out the morphine, fiorinal, dilaudid, or at least ask Tatum O'Neal if you can get some of whatever she's on.

CosmoCrush - I think you and I were probably the entire audience for the Tatum / Ryan O'neal show a few years back - if I recall correctly it was on the OWN network and Tatum had a book out at the same time. Yes, I'm a sucker for horrible actresses and their crappy reality shows. Maybe Candy was trying to say "See Tori - if you try hard enough you could move up to bring as great at Tatum"

What kind of crap antique store are you going to that sells Smurfs and Cabbagepatch? 'Antique' usually means 100 years old! The place you're at is a tacky garage sale.

Who would be friends with this woman? A friendship is about sharing - with Tori it's all Me Me Me. Has she ever asked a friend anything unless it leads back to talking about Tori?

I've been thinking about this a lot in the last few weeks - Did anyone but me notice that Dean and Mary Jo seemed to have a great relationship when she was at the house for Jacks birthday?? They talked like two adults - joking and teasing each other. Talking about old times and mutual friends. When Dean and Tori talk, he always seems to be apologizing for something, or having to explain himself. Why did he cut Liam's hair? Why didn't Liam go to school? Why didn't he go to an AA meeting? Why didn't he pick up the kids from school? It's got to be exhausting for both of them. Either Tori has to let up a bit and not keep treating Dean like a little puppet she can control, or this marriage won't last much longer.

Having read all Tori's books, I'm baffled by her turn around now saying she's scared to leave Dean alone with the kids. In Mommywood she talked about how "hands on" Dean always was, and how he never gave her a chance to do things. This man was looking after 3 kids for MONTHS when you were flat on your back in hospital with Finn. Dean might not be perfect, but he is completely capable of looking after the kids. I'm not a huge fan of Dean, but I would let him watch my kids. He knows how to cook, how to help kids get dressed (as he was shown helping Hattie find matching shoes on a recent show), etc.. In fact, Tori would be less trustworthy with young kids. Look what happened last season when she was scrapbooking on the bed - she turns into a sobbing mess who can't control herself. Of all the kids, Jack is the luckiest - he was raised by a sane mature adult who made sure he had love, security, and rules. Actually - Lola is the luckiest. She dodged having to visit Tori and Dean on a regular basis.