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Hooper

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Everything posted by Hooper

  1. Against my better judgment, I watched Bill's cell phone rant. And it seems to me that 90 % of what he was complaining about was the internet, not cell phones. Sure, it's way more convenient to access the internet with a device that we can carry around in our pocket, but if cell phones ceased to exist today, we would still be able to bully each other, access porn, cancel each other, and plan insurrections via our tablet, lap top, or desk top computer. Again, slightly less convenient without the phone, but the only ill that Bill railed about that would go away without cell phones is his date staring at the phone during dinner. And the solution to that isn't to eliminate (dare I say, cancel?) cell phones, it's to associate with better mannered people and maybe make an effort to be more interesting than a game of solitaire.
  2. That comedian/commentator reminded me of the commentator played by Fred Willard in Best in Show. Except Fred Willard was doing brilliant satire of, well, clueless commentators like the new guy on ATD. If the producers of this show want someone who can do some humorous sporting event-like commentary and actually has some genuine affinity for dogs I recommend this guy. Overall I liked the new format. I agree that the zip line is pointless, but I liked seeing more diversity in breeds and handlers . I don’t know exactly what the rules and time constraints are on searching for the scented keys, but all the handlers, including the professionals, needed to calm the f... down during the search. And I was sad to see the cattle dog, aka red heeler, disqualified for doing exactly what he was bred and trained to do - nip/bite low on the leg. I get why biting a body part that isn’t protected by the body suit is a no-no, but still... that heel bite was less of a safety hazard than the bull dog that went for the crotch and hung on last season 😨 Anyway, welcome back show. It was 101 degrees at 9 pm when I was watching last night, and watching a silly dog competition was exactly all the physical and mental energy I could summon .
  3. I think Jon's Wuhan rant could have been a planned bit IF Stephen had offered more pushback. But as it was, yeah, I think Stephen was taken a bit by surprise. Stephen finally managed to point out that maybe the reason there is a Corona virus lab in Wuhan is because there is such a diversity of natural Corona virus types there, as opposed to Jon's rant that seemed to claim that there is only one Corona virus, and it exist because of the lab. There was so much disinformation in that rant that it did seem sorta satirical, but with no strong counterpoint, I think Jon was serious. I'm actually an agnostic about the lab release theory of the origin of the CoVid19 virus. No doubt the lab has engineered multiple variations of Corona viruses for research purposes, and all it would have taken for an accidental release is for one researcher or technician to get a little careless with safety protocols and become infected. If this hypothetical infected researcher was asymptomatic, coughed a few times while stopping at the market on his/her way home from work, we're off to the races. It's plausible, and it doesn't mean China for some weird reason deliberately set off a global pandemic that no doubt ravaged its own population and economy. So, I don't mind the lab release theory being discussed at all. But Jon's rant was from Crazytown. On a happier note - Stephen's other BFF Jon was awesome. I don't know why I would be surprised, but I had no idea Jon B was such an amazing dancer, along with all his other musical talents.
  4. Some golden retrievers have been trained to remain completely motionless in a clanging MRI machine for up to 30 minutes for neurological research that requires the dog to be fully awake and not sedated. Working golden retrievers have to maintain a stay while guns are being shot and other dogs are dashing past them to fetch birds. Until a couple years ago at any large obedience trial you could see a dozen dogs, usually including several goldens, lined up 3 ft apart maintaining a stay for 3 to 5 minutes while the owners were out of sight and the rest of the dog show went on all around them. Goldens are popular as guide dogs for the visually impaired, and have to remain calm and avoid interacting with people, dogs, cats, squirrels!, etc as if their person's life depended on it, because it does. Training a golden to sit or lie down for a few minutes while the handler is a few feet away off camera doesn't require sedation. Some nice liver or hot dogs can be helpful though.
  5. That sheep penning competition was horribly designed. Skilled shepherds working cooperatively could have managed to shed off sets of four sheep and then maneuvered each packets of four sheep to different pens in widely separated parts of the field. But clueless teams working against each other at a central penning location are just going to interfere with anyone getting any sheep anywhere near any pen. As was suggested above, each team should have worked individually and been timed. That would have been plenty challenging and gone far more quickly than having five teams all running Willy Nilly together, preventing anyone from having any success. And it would have been far less stressful for the sheep.
  6. The set wasn’t quite a mirror image, but darn close, and more stark than I thought it needed to be. I wasn’t nearly as disturbed by that as I was by hearing President Obama say he was spending all his time crumpling his balls though. Dad, ewwww!!!
  7. Yeah, as much as I enjoyed the Fuck 2020-plosion, at some point while watching it I asked myself how many tons of CO2 I was watching being released into the atmosphere while I huddle in my hoodie and long johns with my heat pump thermostat set at 65. So I was hoping it was CGI, and am sort of sad to see that it apparently wasn't. Still, it was fun cathartic entertainment. But bad. But really enjoyable. But bad. Oh fuck 2020. I can't even enjoy watching shit get blown up with a clear conscience.
  8. Of the actions John proposed, getting rid of the electoral college is the least practical. That would require a constitutional amendment, which would have to be approved by a 2/3 vote of both houses. As unlikely as that scenario is, the next step is even more fantasmagorical - being ratified by 3/4 of the states. Any state with less than the mean population per state has greater representation with an electoral college than with the popular vote, and is not going to vote to give up that disproportionate representation. We couldn't even get 3/4 of the states to ratify the ERA, and women make up at least half the population in every state. No state is going to ratify an amendment that gives its people less of a voice in presidential politics. Some of the other things John suggested - term limits might get passed if Dems control both houses, and maybe statehood for PR and DC. But unfortunately, the electoral college is baked into the system.
  9. Stephen, don't worry about all those good doggies being disappointed by the lack of chicken in the cups they are sniffing. I can pretty much guarantee that chicken, or something comparably delicious, is exactly what they get every time they indicate a positive sample.
  10. Tucker Carlson continues to prove why he doesn't deserve any air time. Fixed it for you.
  11. I need a support group of folks whose lives are an empty void now that the 2020 Marble League has broadcast its last event of the season. I'm left with only my memories and about eleventy-thousand Youtube videos of spherical objects rolling along tracks and through funnels to see me through these dark times. Highlights of the final event for me: a) seeing John Rolliver join the venerable King Stardust for the demo run of one lap of the marathon b) cheering for valiant Yellup of the last-place-in-the-standings team Mellow Yellow as s/he/it lead the pack through almost the entire final marathon event, only to fall to second place in the last couple laps Also, kudos to LWT and HBO for sponsoring the League and for their $100,000 to various food banks and the Int. Rescue Committee as part of their sponsorship of the Marble League. Yeah, yeah, I know, tax write off. But still - a far better way to fill the sports void than by airing some former comedian whining about pro-athletes and all their support personnel not risking their lives to keep him entertained.
  12. Regarding Bill's fixation on reopening professional sports (which includes college football): let us not forget that Bill is a part owner of the Mets. All his rah! rah-ing! about not letting fear of killing people prevent us from enjoying the simple pleasures of watching some version of a couple groups of dudes try to move a ball past each other is tinged by just a wee bit of self interest. He'll be watching on his big screen TV from the safety of his private little estate while he collects his share of the income generated by his part ownership of a major league sports team.
  13. Coach from Friday Night Lights: " I need a scotch flavored drink."
  14. I too was puzzled by what that thing is that Liberty is holding up in Trevor's graphic. I was thinking it was some sort of cell phone and symbolized viral videos being the new torch held aloft by Liberty. Since I'm not the least teeny bit white privileged [/S], riot shield never occurred to me until Epeolatrix suggested it. I wasn't sure at first, but it turns out that riot shields come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. Here's a link to one of the bazillion vendors of riot shields. The one pictured at this site looks pretty similar to Trevor's graphic. Googling for riot shield images was pretty revealing in an icky sort of way. I do love that they have a blank space for the purchaser to specify a logo. I mean, sure, the idea is to have the logo identify the person being shielded as POLICE, or SHERIFF, or ILLEGALLY DEPLOYED FEDERAL AGENT. But I'm picturing companies deciding to use civil disturbance as an advertising opportunity. I'm looking forward to riot shields being sponsored by Bud Lite, or by State Farm Insurance, or Century Link. Also, based on the link I posted above, we outsource the manufacture of riot shields to China. Because of course.
  15. I thought Jon Batiste's description of John Lewis as "he embodied the symptoms of holiness" was just the perfect epitaph for one of our greatest American heroes.
  16. No, Rachel does not get to take Nov 4 off. My fantasy is that her Nov 4 show is an hour of cocktails. My dread is that it's an hour of chugging tequila until we are all passed out. But either way, she shows up Nov 4. She can have Nov 5 off.
  17. The morning after the school where I teach shut down this March, I went into my office to collect a few more papers I would need to work from home. Because the announcement about classes being cancelled was ambiguously worded on the school website (Side note - Me: "You can't possibly screw up a simple statement like 'All on-site classes are cancelled until further notice' ". My university's communications team: "Hold our beer.") there were quite a few students milling about, unsure whether classes were really cancelled or not. In the hallway I encountered a small gaggle of my students who were on their way to my office to seek clarification. When I saw them, out of the blue what came out of my mouth in my best fake Russian accent was "Emergency! Emergency! Everybody to get from street." I can't say that my channeling a movie produced before their parents were born did a lot to reduce my students' confusion, but it inspired me to spend a few minutes of early lock-down time googling "The Russians Are Coming" and watching clips on youtube. Carl Reiner, Alan Arkin, Johnathan Winters, Brian Kieth ... best movie ever. Also, the tweet with the photo of 95 year old Reiner taking a knee... I'm a wreck now.
  18. I didn't hear him demand that the economy open now, but I was amused when he praised Europe for having dealt with Covid-19 much better than the US has. Hmmm. So, uhm, Bill, to what exactly do you attribute Europe's superior results in battling the virus? Don't be shy, Bill. Tell us exactly what it is that you think Europe did differently than us.
  19. Every spring I have an infestation of wasps in my kitchen as soon as the nights start to stay above freezing. I assume I have a nest somewhere in my rafters above my kitchen ceiling, but I put out wasp traps outdoors near where I think the wasps are originating, and they disappear after a couple weeks. Until August. With the really hot weather, the wasp wars escalate, but I find Seth's early spring skirmish to be entirely plausible.
  20. Stephen used your second pronunciation and it should have been your first pronunciation. Just think of "integrate" and add an "iv" to the end. He also hesitated a bit on the second word of the journal title - "Organismal". I attributed that little stumble to him having repeated to himself one hundred times "do not say 'orgasmal', do not say 'orgasmal'..." just before recording.
  21. Stephen's punchline about the article about men's beards (so men spent thousands of years evolving shock absorbers to the face instead of just being less of a dick) made me laugh hard enough to scare the dogs. But, "integrative", Stephen - I do not think that word is pronounced the way you think it's pronounced. Also, Covid-19 is a global tragedy that will continue to rack up a horrible death toll for at least many more months, and has devastated economies and exacerbated poverty world wide. BUT ... one good thing to come of this is that it has caused Stephen to have real, albeit brief, conversations with Jon Batiste, instead of the studio set ups where Jon just responded "uh huh" or "yeah, man" to whatever Stephen said. And Jon just radiates being the loveliest person on the planet, and I'm so glad that there is now a tiny spotlight being shined on his stay human-ness.
  22. Here's a link that gives a brief description of Bill's eating habits along with a few other charming details about Bill's issues with western medicine. I'm all for eating a plant-centric/reasonably unprocessed diet, but Bill's blaming Covid on sugar/soybeans/random-food-villain-of-the-week, is just so, well, faith-based. Eschewing high fructose corn syrup is probably a good thing, but that didn't save populations from the Spanish flu, the black death, or a jillion other plagues. The thing with a novel pathogen is that it's novel, and most immune systems aren't adapted to deal with it no matter what you eat.
  23. Well, there's also the filming a show while under quarantine net. But one way that they could do the show that would avoid being associated with scenes of cops beating people is to make America's Top Dog less focused specifically on law enforcement. Except for the bit of bite work at the very end, really there's nothing that the dogs do on ATD that isn't being done by a bajillion agility and scentwork/nosework and dock diving competitors. The law enforcement dogs did better in this particular show because the obstacles were geared specifically toward what law enforcement dogs do, but replace the four and five foot high jumps with a broad jump, some "traps" like they use in agility competition, and replace pulling ramps down by grabbing a tennis ball with a directed retrieve, and the courses would be equally challenging, but less geared toward a few specific breeds trained for one specific profession.
  24. Well, "You're as big an asshole in person as you are on your show" was the descriptor Jon Stewart used that got Tucker off the air. There's no shame in recycling the classics.
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