Diana's life/death had a deeply serious, heartbreaking effect on Harry's life so I understand his negativity about press. And while the press did hound her, she manipulated them when she could. Both can be true. It doesn't make any of it less tragic.
As far as H&M, their statement is confusing. Are they abandoning their HRH titles? How long will "financial independence" take? Who will be paying for security in Canada, etc? I don't think that we know the details and perhaps that's what the Queen is "complaining" about in her statement.
There is a lot of debate about what the "palace" knew and when they knew it. I, too, would be surprised to learn that there had NOT been private talks about them stepping away. Regardless, the Queen's statement sounds like a public admonishment - "complicated issues that will take time to work through" - and that seems to be exactly what they are running away from.
I think it is fair to say that all parties involved could have handled it better. However, a step like this was never going to be easy, clean and without hard feelings.