mojoween

I once had food poisoning on a Friday and left work early the following Monday. No way I would be able to do anything they are doing on this leg.

Hunter was a dope, and also I hate this season.

This version of Jeffy is most assuredly NOT Peachy. What the fuck?

Reggie Bush and his Heisman have less than zero impact on my life, and yet I am still happy that he’s getting something back that never should have been taken away in the first place.

I like Travis! But I also think he’s a meathead.

Snerk

There is no TV show on earth that has ever accurately shown what happens when you get a tattoo. None. Spencer would have not been surprised after almost 25 hours to have found one on his ribs. Also that tattoo was janky as hell. Oh look Jordan is stupid and then Layla and Olivia show him how stupid he is. Lather, rinse, repeat. Coop no! You love her. You have to TELL her.

I wondered the other day if Eminem was going to be part of the draft, and cue a relatively cute and harmless commercial with Roger and Marshall. Marshall, besides not having the college requirement to enter the NFL, there is also the small matter of your age.

Holeeeeee fuck this umpire in the Yankees/A’s game needs to be released from the umpires union immediately. He makes Angel Hernandez look completely fucking sane. Also the Bleacher Creatures continuing roll call while all that was going down was hysterical and surreal.

John Sterling’s first signature home run call was “Bern baby Bern” and that is just 😍. I was going to be at a movie yesterday so set the DVR to record everything at the Stadium, and every time I set a recording for a live sporting event the team I am rooting for loses. Also, the Yankees just cannot win on their special days. That’s baseball, Suzyn.

What do you think Kirsten Dunst was thinking when her (real-life) hubby got plowed? It was an interesting movie, even if I thought it was going to be about the actual war, with some context given, rather than Lee’s story. Also it’s 100% Jessie’s fault Sammy died. Should have stayed in the truck, child!

Well that sucked. I’ll miss Tevin. Q could have just bounced his own ass out rather than be so goddamned dramatic. Next to go are Liz and Venus? Yes? PLEASE?

🗣️THESE EPISODES DO NOT NEED TO BE NINETY MINUTES🗣️

Reverse psychology works every time!

I remember back in the olden days (last Saturday) when baseball was fun. I miss those days.

Giancarlo Stanton running the bases is like if a BarcaLounger gained motor skills.

Oh so NOW everyone cares about the women’s salaries because their golden girl is getting paid eighty grand a year. No one batted an eye when Brittany Griner was in the fucking gulag because she was trying to make some more bank. I hate people. The women have been complaining about this for YEARS but no one deigned to listen before.

It occurred to me, which watching Travis Kelce slam a beer at his graduation, that I never put him into the Gronk Meathead genre. But he actually should have been there the whole time, huh.

That makes me so sad, especially when he said recently he wasn’t leaving.

Wait. This show is limping - gasping - to the finish line, and it’s coming back? So now I’m going to have to pretend that I give a shit about Zoe meeting her birth baby? No sir.

WHAT ARE WE DOING https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/39922737/tom-brady-says-not-opposed-late-season-nfl-return

I made it to halftime and then bailed when UConn got up double digits. The women outrated the men, one assumption could be that people wanted to see Caitlin even if SC’s undefeated season was most likely to conclude with the natty, and people didn’t think Purdue had a reasonable chance to win and Zach isn’t that much of a draw?

UConn did not go undefeated, so what happened on the days they lost, and why couldn’t anyone replicate that? I ask why plaintively, and whining, because fuck UConn.

Who’s surprised that SC won. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

The fact that Street wasn’t even mentioned, let alone be at the hospital during Luca’s surgery, is criminal. Hicks in full dress blues? Good looking out sir! Oh! The hysterically sardonic church secretary on Young Sheldon! The smoking finally caught up to her.