Jasmine

Since viewing the vulgar Lenny videos circulating on the internet this past week, I found it extremely disturbing to watch him tonight. He's such a colossal fraud, and, of course, I just voted for him so I can see how the Food Network will handle the fallout if he wins! Nicole is a snooze, and Luca is OK, except I just can't with his greasy looking hair. He did give some interesting tips, though. Susie Fogelson has such a bizarre way of speaking...it's as though she's clenching her teeth when she speaks. It was entertaining to watch tonight, that's for sure.

I can't find the Lenny Christmas video, can you post a link? Thank You. *tips her hat A La Lenny*

I am STUNNED at Lenny's video! Absolutely floored. The Food Network deserves him. I so hope he wins, and then can take his demented, fake-cowboy act and call his food disgusting names, and run wild like the lunatic he is. Has anyone at the Food Network SEEN this atrocity??

When Chris made his "Lollipop" Chicken, I immediately thought of Giada, with that balloon head of hers. She was insufferable this episode, absolutely over-the-top hateful. A few thoughts: A few weeks back, I bet my husband that Lenny's belt buckle would get bigger each week, and my theory was certainly validated last night. It was almost the size of a dinner plate, I love it. So hilariously cliche, he just has to win. I'd love to see his show, but only if he gets psychotically into the whole Lenny The Cowboy Chef role to the point that he embarrasses the network. It would be so great if he's really putting them on, gets the show, and then becomes a total loose cannon. I posted on the Food Network's Facebook page last week about how ridiculous the show had become, how tiresome Giada's cleavage was, I and suggested a new challenge: give the contestants kitchen knives, let them hurl them at each other, and whoever draws the most blood wins. The level of ignorance of most of the contestants in last night's episode can be summed up by the line: "Ooohhh...we're going to a berry farm!" OMG.

I just have some random thoughts on some of the more hapless contestants this year. Kenny reminds me of an Asian Where's Waldo...lost in a world of cornstarch. The Pagent Girl must have a very lackluster date night if Turkey Burgers and Mashed Potatoes are supposed to be some kind of aphrodisiac food. Humorless Aryen comes across as Sunny 2.0, a slightly bitchier version..she looks like she would cut you. The New Orleans chef Chris comes off as conceited, and I hate when he name-dropped famous chefs he's worked with/for. I'd never watch a show of his. Emma/The Girl Next Door seems nice, but I'd only put her show on if I had Insomnia and needed something profoundly boring to get me back to sleep. Lenny is a hoot, he just has to win. I need to see just how big a belt buckle can be...the one he had on last night needs its own zip code, or maybe even its own show. I want to see him every week get more and more wild, and then maybe even come out one week and do a type of Brokeback Kitchen show. Loreal looks like she'd have a lit joint on the counter as she smiled and drawled her way through a show. Luca was great..I so hoped he'd win, and then we'd see our first Food network subtitles. Nicole is a non-entity...forgettable, and reminds me too much of the nutjob Danielle Staub from NJ Housewives appearance-wise. Reuben is a cross between Fidel Castro and Jake Gyllenhaal, and I don't know how many people want a show on the foods of Miami. I know I don't. Giada's first dress last night was something out of Sister Wives, but then she brought out the girls BIG TIME at the end. Utterly ridiculous. Udderly. Her two rows of shark's teeth glistened blindingly. Can't .... take....her. It's a fun season, totally snark-worthy.