rlc

That was a rough one, but I will persevere for the scene next week when Mary says that Heather looks inbred. Lisa is awful. When Whitney is rolling her eyes at your level of self-involvement, you know there are some serious issues. That said, I would take a 12-hour road trip with Lisa over a 15 minute conversation with Monica any day. Monica is awful on every conceivable level, so studied, desperate, thirsty, and absolute trash. I hope her ex-husband files for custody of those poor children once he sees the show. And hey, at least Lisa would bring snacks on the road trip. I'm going to refrain from commenting on the golf cart for a 13-year-old or how desperate Heather is to be accepted by the church again while she makes a living denigrating the very same church.

I loathe Monica’s mother for making me pity Monica.

Very happy with this season- I cannot remember a season with a more deserving final 3/4. As usual they kept a less deserving home baker around past her expiration date, but at least she was gone before final 4. It's funny- I could not stand Hollie on the first episode and hoped she would be gone soon, but I now like her and think she 100% deserves the win (though I would be fine with Ryan or James winning). I find her personality to be less of a shtick and more in line with other Australian women I know (I work with a lot of Australians). Not to generalize too much, but the Australian women I know have strong, unapologetic personalities (which I personally adore).

And she's still losing.

This just popped up on my FB feed and I had to share.

Monica is trash. Mary is insane. Lisa clearly didn’t know about Jack’s mission. Heather needs to get over herself and stay out of Lisa’s family’s business. Whitney’s marriage is nearly over, and Justin is delusional if he thinks he’s going to manage an upgrade from Whitney, but what do I know- SLC is a strange place. Meredith is awful, and so ridiculously full of herself. She needs to step away from the Botox. Angie…has risen? Gurl. Beautiful spread, though, and bonus points for super hot priest.

Andy Cohen, if you're listening, I have your next show idea for you: Sai and Jen Shah (when she gets out of prison) in a cage match to see who strokes out first from being 'honest'.

Well if you have to ask…

There are many things I could say about Sai, but I’ll just keep it brief. Sai is a c**t.

So. Much. Glitter. While glitter is the herpes of the crafting world, herpes is likely the herpes of the Bachelor world.

No, she meant what she said. Her vagina is magic, and no one alive, dead, or otherwise could resist it.

Hopefully while they are staying at the Trixie Motel, one of Trixie's drag queen friends can help Mary out with her makeup issues. Not Trixie, because, well, let's just say she knows how to beat one face. And not Coco Montrese because Mary doesn't need to turn from blue/grey to orange. But I digress. Heather- choose one story and stick with it. Were you and Angie friends in High School and you're upset that she dropped you, or, like you said last week, were the two of you never friends? Hopefully the smell of the espresso liqueur covered most of the vomit in the van. Loved Meredith channeling her inner Gwyneth Paltrow and whipping out the fake British accent. Was Lisa's ring 60K and did Monica put her hand in the used tampon bin? And did you technically shtup your brother-in-law when it was your husband's sister's husband? Since she converted to Mormonism there is less of a chance of them being blood relations than say if inbred-looking-Heather had done the same.

She's just so chill!

Poor, poor Erin. How did she ever survive the embarrassment of her child crying on an airplane? Pushing someone into a pool is never, ever okay. It pisses me off when little kids do it and bores the crap out of me when I waste an hour of my life watching supposedly grown women do this as supposed entertainment. Erin sucks. Sai sucks. Ubah was annoying.

This was a rough season to make it through. Takeaways: At the end, I guess I didn't hate Heather as much as her previous stint? Andrew is painfully cheerful. Patrick was turning into Bulent-light after getting the nod of approval from the alpha. Yes, Na'im could have just waited patiently for the axe, but Patrick seemed to have decided that raft building was below him. Bulent apparently forgot that he is a dick who has nothing but disdain for all humans who aren't named Bulent and seemed downright pleasant the last few days. Kerra was there, too. I need a break from this show.

Bulent isn’t being a dick. Bulent is a dick.

Unless you're bringing Kathy Bates in to do this right.

Meredith- step away from the Botox.

I've watched every episode and given this show far more though than it deserves. My takeaway so far is that these women are all assholes (as are most people who would choose to be on one of these shows this many years into it). Erin is by far the biggest asshole and the least trustworthy. She is not a victim of editing. She just sucks. Editing does control much of what we see, and though I like Jenna best of these women so far, I do not buy that she is as innocent as she plays it (see: manipulative baby voice and the fact that she is part of this franchise). As for giftgate, lord help me, I checked out Jenna's insta and they were in fact lovely gift bags with many nice items, but at least two were direct collabs and I do not buy for a second that she had nothing to gain from the other items. She *may* have forgotten what was in the bags because I'm sure that after she packed the first one for the camera, the multitude of other bags were packed by an assistant/niece/godchild/child/friend. I think that Jenna tends to be careful about what she says/reveals to these harpies, and may have said more than she should have to Erin based on being medicated and Erin *seeming* nice. Or, it was a planned storyline. I know I'm supposed to, but I still don't hate Brynn. I think there are some other people on the show.

Every time I see that dress I think of Robin on HIMYM. I will succinctly sum up everything I feel about these new housewives: Brynn is not my least favorite.

So Rami’s take on something bold and peacock-like is….wait for it…A DIAGONAL SEAM! He is such a wacky guy.

André De Shields!!!! Steve from Brooklyn wouldn't have wanted to attend such a fancy dinner, unless he could wear his brown/rust corduroy suit. It was...fine. The second season was better than the first. I hate to admit it, but yes, I'll watch the third season. I'll hate myself for it, but I will watch.

They will need to film in Nordic countries and desert regions.

Joey’s fate was sealed when he picked the ugly ring.

Btw- this is the school: https://www.avenues.org/ny/