calidub

First, Deacon needs to live. Duh. Also, I want Beverly to live. Because as awful as she is, I feel like it's pretty irresponsible for the Donate Life cause to have her die. Way to scare off future donors! BUT... if Beverly dies, I really really really don't want them to go the predictable route and have Deacon feel guilty, blame Rayna, spiral back into dark and mopey-land and pull away from everyone. If they go that path, I'd much rather see Rayna feel guilty about Beverly's death and really struggle to keep it together (plus Teddy and Juliette drama on top of it all). We saw her be so strong for Deacon in the last part of this season-- I want to see him do the same for her. I also need more Deacon and Daphne bonding, especially now that her daddy's in jail. And a Deacon/Rayna wedding. At the lake house. Obviously. Jeff, Layla, Luke, Kiley, Micah: BYYYYYYYYE.

I already had my giant rant a few pages back, but I left out one detail that is so stupid but seriously bothering the early childhood teacher in me. WHY ISN'T ZOLA IN SCHOOL? The last time we saw Derek and Meredith together, they were joking about Zola driving in "about 10 years." Now, I fanwanked that to say that maaaybe she was only 4 at the time and they'd have to start really thinking about her driving in 10 years. Because there's no possible way Zola would actually be 6 and not enrolled full-time in elementary school. But an entire year passed in last night's episode and that child is STILL not in school full-time? She should be in pre-kindergarten by now, at LEAST. Maybe next year we'll see Zola's first day of Kindergarten and it'll be all emotional because Derek isn't there for that milestone. Ah, nevermind. Who am I kidding? We'll be lucky if we ever hear his name again after this season.

This episode was such an embarrassing and enraging mess that I am forcing myself out of lurkdom to come here and vent with people who understand. What the HELL was that? Derek was a gigantic part of this show for 11-freakin'-years and THAT'S how we say goodbye? A jumbled mess and a pathetic funeral in the first 10 minutes? And then the person who we'd actually want to see grieving or breaking down or REACTING IN ANY WAY, goes missing and is completely off the screen for the next 45 minutes and we're forced to listen to Bailey and Ben have the same damn argument over the course of 9 effin' MONTHS? AND THEN! Meredith returns and--surprise!-- she's pregnant. Shonda really knows how to twist that knife in her fanbase, doesn't she? So I'm thinking the second hour will focus mostly on Meredith and how she's coping, but no again. Can someone please explain to me why in a TWO HOUR episode, the grieving widow and lead character was only given like 10 minutes of actual screen time (and about 10 solid minutes of flashbacks)? Did she even say more than 200 words all episode? Who thought that's what the fans would be interested in seeing? Ellen was so great in the little she had. Why didn't they give her more? I'm so confused by so many choices that were made tonight. Glad Amelia at least was able to show some emotion and eventually have her breakdown. I was really thinking we'd finally get one from Meredith too after she gave birth at the end, but I guess not? I understand people grieve differently and that she's probably still numb, but it's weird that we've seen Meredith more emotional over the death of her dog than her husband. I did love her in his ferry boat scrub cap, though. I hope that stays forever now. I was really hoping for a Will Gardner-esque farewell episode that would actually pull on some heartstrings and make me ugly cry and mourn with the characters, but silly me.